Living Alone Comments from Those Who are Doing It

COMMENTS RECEIVED
Kitty	Atlanta USA	" I've done both. Never had a room-mate, but had two husbands. The last husband was 33 years ago and I haven't had a date since. I don't get lonely. I have virtually total freedom, constrained only by interest and (occasionally) finances, i.e., trips to Tahiti, etc. I own my own home, am going to retire sometime in the next 5 years and can't wait to have more time to myself. They say it takes a special "breed" to enjoy living alone...I am that breed. There is nothing more special to me than the fact that I don't have to ask anyone for approval. To me, freedom is the pinnacle of life.,"
Lily	Montreal Canada	" When I first started living alone, I didn't know what to expect. I have to admit that I was afraid, though not sure of what exactly, perhaps of not knowing what I was getting into. Now, several years later, I think that living alone is one of my most cherished life experiences. At this point, I find that living alone totally outweighs living with someone that the latter seem to have lost all attraction for me. Maybe living alone has made me more self-centered since I do what I want to do when I want to do it without having to consider anyone else, but this is a fault that I'm willing to live with :) After all, I think we are essentially alone whether we live on our own or with another. My experience of solitude has taught me a lot about myself - most importantly that I, am my best friend. "
Shaun	Toronto Canada	" I'm 47, and have lived alone for the past 20 years. I don't date because I'm financially unstable. In fact, I'm currently unemployed and on the verge of homelessness if i can't get a job soon. I don't know what to do anymore. I keep getting turned down from jobs, and rejected by women. :-( I suppose life turns out great for some, and poor for the rest of us. It looks like Over the hill, broke, alone and homeless is how my life is turning out. At least I have my health"
NM	Calgary Alberta Canada	" I have spent my entire life believing I was not whole if I didn't have that partner in my life. The "one" I have believed in marriage and family and sought it out above all lese since I was a teenager. I've never found it. Truth? I cannot stand living with someone. I was married briefly years ago and have over the last 20 years lived with 3 other men in commited relationships. I'm tired of berating myself and feeling like a failure because my expectations are too high. I'm also too old to be naive. It's me.. not them. I'm not cut out for what I experience as the boredom and monotony of a live in spouse. I have lived alone. I love my company. I love my pets. I love knowing my environment will look exactly as I left it. I rarely experience loneliness when I'm alone. aloneness and loneliness are very different things. The loneliest place I've even known is in a relationship sitting beside a person you have nothing to say to. I know there are people who love being tog ether, who have found this "thing" with another person. I'm in my mid 40's with a very successful career, a great grown son I own 3 properties, I have an Rv I take on my own...all things I accomplished on my own. No one else has ever brought anything to the table, financially or emotionally. I know we all need people. We need to be cared for however being taken for granted is far worse than any moment of lonely blues. There are some people who are better on their own. Selfishness is sometimes simply self awareness. I'm tired of giving everything and feeling taken getting so little in return. I believe we are all responsible for ourselves and no one has the right to tell other people how to live. My current partner complains I don't tell him what to do enough, call him on his bs, run things. Why would I want to do that? And why would any self respecting person tolerate it? Some people are just that independent. We are still loving and caring but not everyone is cut out for living with someone. Perhaps it's time to stop judging and start accepting
Dave	Toronto Canada	" My thoughts... A.) It's expensive when you don't make good pay. Sometimes you can barely make ends meet. B.) It's lonely when you do have the free time, and nobody to share it with. C.) It's difficult when you have to keep moving from place to place. Moving is time consuming and expensive. D.) It's the way my life turned out...sometimes wonder why I even bother at all. E.) It's worrisome for the future. When i'm unable to work/support myself anymore, will i have anyone who can help care for me? ...or will i end up being found dead for a year? "
John jtrboeing@verizon.net	Kenmore, Wa. USA	" I am now living by myself for the first time in 20 years and I guess I'm a little confused still and lonely. My partner has gotten very ill with depression and tardive dyskenisia(involentary movements)She has the symptoms of alztimers and cannot take care of herself any longer.I caregave her for the past five years and it's taken a toll on me.I finally had to find a assisted living home for her, It;s been very hard on me but a necessary thing to do.I still go to see her several times a week to make sure she is taken care of. I bring her coffee drinks and snacks to keep her busy and have some things of her own.I'm living alonbe but not really. Letting go has been a dificult thing to do. I'm 66 and starting over is awfully hard.I just dont know where to start.She is gone but not really you know?I have no help from her family so I cant really just walk away. I love her dearly yet I know I need a life. I wish I could say that living alone is fun but so far it sure isnt. Finances are hard because we shared everything but when she went into assisted living I stopped accepting money from her. Her expenses are enough for her to bare. She has enough to take care of herself (at least for now) so I'm not worried about her.I on the other hand am having a difficult time going it alone. Everything is now on my platter and I'm on a fixed income. It;s ok for now but who knows down the road. One day at a time I guess.I just needed to vent a little.."
Teri	Scotland	" I have lived alone for over 25 years because my marriage failed and I never met anyone else. I brought up my son alone and he is doing well. I remind myself often that The things I have achieved, although not earth shattering, I did by myself and I can take pride in that. I also feel that I am a stronger person because i hve to deal with problems alone and solve them myself. That is not to say that Living alone is always easy. I miss having someone to love me for who I am , even though I never had that in the first place. I don't go on holiday because everyone is in a couple and I feel as though i am odd being alone. all my friends are in couples and sometimes the conversation excludes me because my life is different from theirs. however , I like my own company. I don't have to try and please anyone else( which I always do in relationships). I own my own house which I love. I can eat when I want ,go out when I want, come home when I want, get up when I want , go to bed when I want, read or watch tv. The list is endless. My married friends don't have this freedom. Yes, being in a close , loving relationship is the ideal but it doesn't happen for everyone and certainly not for me but living alone isn't all bad. This is my first computer and I am new to the internet. I have never posted a comment before but I enjoyed reading all your comments. I don't feel quite so different now"
Don flakjakit@hotmail.com	Victoria Canada	" Good day.. with the formalities over with.. lets dance. ive been in here a number of times before for those that read back to the bottom of the page. for the sake of redundancy i wont get into that which has already been said. im still living alone and its still as trying as it always has been, that said i still hate it/ love it / condone it.lets just say loneliness and aloneness are still not diseases but conditions of ones life style. your choice, there are enough 'choices' out there that if you really dug your heals in and looked it would be over in a heartbeat, however there are the choosy ones like me that are still looking for their 'soul mate' lover, friend, forever and wont settle till we/they meet. if you want to talk about how to live alone one must do it before you can talk it, so once you have graduated from the first year of being alone then there is no point sitting here typing out what you think of it. one or two or even six months of being alone does not substantiate one calling ones self a 'survivor' cause you aint seen nuthin yet. cooking , cleaning, paying your own dues to society and living the alone thing where your open to everyone's hypocrisy and their opinions about what you appear to them as they criticize you for being gay or sterile and cant get a date is still nothing till you have sat and felt sorry for yourself and cried till there were no more tears and you forgot why you were crying.. then get up and welcome the new day and perhaps a more enlightened train of thought.living in the pity pot is no where that we should be for very long or we get mentally wrinkly and its not fun to watch. go and grieve for whatever reason and get over it.. its a flawed world and so are you so learn to forgive YOU and the world and get back in the race.as far as living alone and being 'responsible' for ones self, that will come with time, it too is a learning curve that some of us just were not cut out to have happen. some of us were NOT supposed to be alone, ever or in anyway. we are not strong enough to do it end of story. on the other hand realize that when living alone if it hits the floor its going to stay there till YOU pick it up,, #1 rule of cleanliness. other than that the rest will be a hands on experience. live and learn through observation, if there's something moving in that meat you left in the fridge a month ago, then no it hasn't come back to live but what is IN is isn't living alone, and he brought the fam! so DON'T EAT IT !!! rule #2. are we giting it? good. if your evenings are lonely then get off your other end and learn how to entertain your brain. what are some of the things you have always wanted to do and couldn't cause of someone else being in the way or complicating or compromising your time, then go do it. mathematically, its as easy as simple addition, you either add someone to your life or take away someone, its the emotional involvement that stops us from clear thinking and it always will but if your not happy then its time to talk or walk. that's all and if being alone wont make you happy but its much easier and quieter then where's the problem? and you may save some money too. i don't profess to have it all sorted out but i know what is working for me, and humanity relying as much as it does on commonality, something ive written today here is going to appeal to someone out there and perhaps be taken for gospel and help them with their situation. that's what we all doing here isn't it? looking for help? advice is cheap.. as cheap as we want to make it but there are some people that i would like to shorten the suffering time for someone. im one who has been to the bottom and survived. believe me if it were in my power.. and someone would believe me id be telling everyone as they did in that John Candy movie " YOUR GOING THE WRONG WAY",,, are you smiling?... good keep those corners tight and twisty ok? be good be safe be happy ok?"
Raffaele raffaeleabbate@rogers.com	Brampton Canada	" Life is about balance, compromise, love and sharing joyful moments with your wife and kids. Living alone is living an unbalanced life, without purpose, without love. I live alone and hate it. Can't wait to find the love of my life!"
Flavio flaviomayrinck@hotmail.com	Niterói Brazil	" Don't you think that you can live only with a partner, but not necessarily having kids and all that? My point is, I don't really think I would like to have more kids, as I already have one from a previous relationship. So instead of having all this, maybe it's better to live alone Well, I'm 39 years old and I have a 13 year old son. I've never been married, although my girlfriend has been living with me for the past 2 years. I had a lot of girlfriends along the years. Till 3 years ago I used to work far away from my hometown, so I was here only during the weekends. I know my actual girlfriend for 6 and a half years now. She's 32. She always wanted to get really married and also have kids. I've been postponing this conversation as much as I could, but it got to a point where we can't live like this anymore. I don't really think I wanna have more children as I'm not such a family guy. So I think we'll have to break-up. She already said she'll go back to her mother's house until she can find a place for her. I like her but I think that this will probably be the best solution for us. I don't really know what to expect. I'm a good looking guy, not the most beautiful around, but I think I'm much better that some. I work-out every day, keep my body in shape, etc. I like doing my things like going to the beach, playing my PS3, playing drums with my band, going to the gym, etc...and I don't think I would be able to give up on all these things to have kids. I try to be a good father for my son, but I know I'm not the best. I don't even try that hard to be the best. I lived 10 years alone, from 97 to 07, but always had girlfriends and a lot of other girls. Maybe this is the kind of life that I can live. So I'll probably be back on the streets again knowing some more new women as well as reconnecting with known women from the past. I kind of get sad about all this, because maybe it would be easier to just go with the flow and marry, have kids, etc...But I'm so reluctant in doing this that I'm really afraid that things would be much worse in the future with wife and kids. Who knows. Well, I don't. I think it'll probably be good to be alone again. Let's see what happens"
Anne	New Orleans USA	" Hi <smile> I must say, I have enjoyed reading everyone's feelings; some positive, some negative, come comical and some depressing. I too live alone and have a mixture of all those feelings. Living alone is an eye opening experience. It is like looking in a mirror 24 hours a day. Of course, everyone's situation is different. I retired early; 6 months ago. I am 56 years old. I am divorced. I have one child (a daughter) who is living a good life with a good partner. I am truly happy for her. Considering what I experienced, I prayed her experiences would not be the same and thus far, its not. My family and friends chuckle at me. I have become a hermit. I only leave the house to go to the grocery store, doctor, and drug store (lol). I have limited mobility which pretty much keeps me homebound. I have a few visitors (of my choosing). Others call and want to come over, but something inside me just doesn't want. I always give some excuse to discourage them and most of the time it works. I think this is a bad thing. The more I am not around human beings, the less I want to be. When you live alone, you become very set in your ways. I have interest that don't seem to interest other people (lol). I enjoy metaphysics (Edgar Cayce, Dr. Raymond Moody, etc.), conspiracy theories; things of that nature. I love having discussions about such subjects. I enjoy listening to 60's and 70's music. To me, that music was the greatest. I even enjoy listening to music by Kitaro (which is an artist my friends have never heard of). Bottom line is no one shares my interest. I don't want any one to pretend to enjoy what I like and I don't want to pretend to enjoy what I don't like. I always wished that someone would enter my life that did enjoy exactly what I did and didn't want a beauty queen. I am no beauty queen. I never was. I have always been over weight and still am. Living alone means to be true to yourself. When you live alone, you can either be your best friend or your worse enemy. Its up to the individual to decide. When that loneliness creeps in, I just ask myself "will you be happier alone, or with someone?", and of course considering all, the answer comes easy. As many of you have stated, the absolute worse is when you need to be hugged. Just hugged. That is when I most feel like I am the only one on the face of the planet. Of course, I have my beloved cat. He is a great companion, but unfortunately is no replacement of a warm embrace from someone who is truly sincere. It is an adjustment and it gets easier. I too worry about dying and no one knowing till days or weeks later. So to cure that I have asked several people to please call occasionally to still see if I am still among the living (lol). Seems like so many of you have had bad relationships and belong to the IGS (I Got Screwed) Club. Going through such an ordeal does make it more difficult to allow another person into your heart. If you still have hopes, I truly wish you luck. Just remember, there is so much more to a person than just outer beauty. There is a beauty inside that shines. If you have decided that living life alone is the best for you, I completely understand. Keeping mentally active and physically (if you can) active is the best way to overcome loneliness. I wish everyone happiness and good health. Thank you all for posting and sharing your thoughts. I enjoyed it. "
Kristine	Tralala Philipines	" I am 19 and I've been living alone since 18. Since i'm in college, I rarely see my family (once a year, every Christmas) and that fact itself makes me miss them more. Unlike most of the students do, I live alone, i cook for myself, clean the room i'm renting and do stuff by myself. Sometimes in my solitude, i find inner peace that i definitely won't find living with my folks back home and somehow, that's the best feature living alone could provide. I am new in this place since i'm transferring university and it's lonelier since i still have no friends. Hopefully, after the school year starts, i'll be able to find those few people who would somehow make me feel good. Oh yeah, living alone sucks at first but it's best when you need to find what you're capable of. It takes time to get used to it but the everyday drama is worth remembering, just make sure that you get a lesson out of your time-to-time situation. Sometimes, i feel like being "this" is something that i want to keep until i grow old (but still keeping responsibilities with my mom and my little sister). My dad died few months ago and I know that someday somehow, there will be only me and my sister and I have to finish college, get a good job and provide for her until she can stand on her own feet. My idea of living alone is simply beautiful, not simply because you can decide for yourself but also you won't mind of others telling you what to do or when to do it. I am working part-time since i entered college and that makes me think i am up for anything the world could offer, i just know that i can make it. "
Amy	Canada	" I hate living alone, its like being partly dead. Superficial interactions with class mates or roommates are not sufficient. I think humans are an instinctively social creature, and without having close relationships with people/ a person that we spend significant time around and feel accepted by, our quality of life is reduced "
Ann	Edmonton Alberta Canada	"Living alone is great. I only clean up my own messes. I can eat breakfast in silence, undisturbed my my ex=husband's incessant chatter. I get to have a minimalist household -- free of packratism. I can read all I want. I have no more pressure to 'take care' of an adult (males) ld really have grown up long ago."
Brown Sugar	Selma USA	" Living alone is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I love it and I wouldn't have it any other way. Life is too short to worry about who wants and who doesn't. Just live and enjoy life!!!!! "
George	Ireland	" Originally from The Caribbean, I lost my mother to breast cancer at the age 18. I left home at 19 to go to Sweden to study, I was involved in a relationship but it didn't work so I threw myself into school and work. I left Sweden and moved with work, and as a television cameraman, the hours do not lend to social activities, so work became social... I moved to Ireland in 1999 and I lived with some people for a short time but I really missed my own space... I have that now, loving it with my cat, Honey. So now, every time I walk in the door it's "Honey, I'm home!" I was involved with a woman who did the dirt on me and got pregnant by someone else. So now I love work even more, I love my cat even more than that, and I love me! I know I deserve a shot at a relationship where love and respect are mutual, but after being burnt, (not just by her now, but women who I've opened up to in the past) I am quite reserved, and I have accepted my role as provider for my Honey, who is always warm and fuzzy and happy when I'm home... It's not as horrible as people make it, it's actually quite, well liberating... As long as I can pay the mortgage and get the bills sorted out, it's okay... I trust me, I know I can't trust anyone else "
Ryan	Maple, Ontario Canada	" !!!!!PLEASE READ THIS ALL OF YOU!!!!! Be zen. We are naturally social creatures, being with other ppl makes us happy. Having a "partner" is like having a best friend. Too often people dont take the required steps to reach that level and they end up being deeply emotionally wounded. Relationships take a lot of work, the more meaningful the relation ship, the more work that has to be put in. Often people think that they are unattractive. Honestly, beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. So what if 9/10 people think youre ugly, is that because you dont meet societys beauty standards? If those people are following society's beliefs, then they are the ones that are truly ugly. In the end, we all become wrinkly, old, and have old bones/teeth/brains, etc. Are looks going to matter then? No, the personality will because ITS WHAT NEVER DETERIORATES. THIS is why true beauty lies within, because it never diminishes, never deteriorates...like the physical beauty. Nothings wrong with being attracted to beauty, but its wrong for it to be a major/only deal maker/breaker. there are MILLIONS if not BILLIONS of people in the world today. You mean to tell me that there isnt ONE person who is right for you? Youre stupid if you think so, cause the odds are against you. Being lazy isnt an excuse, being ugly isnt an excuse either. Being selfish is probably the worst excuse. If you want to be loved then find it, or let it find you. THIS IS CALLED THE "LAW OF ATTRACTION", this is one of life's biggest secrets. Google/youtube it. When living alone, things can get depressing because of the simple fact that we are ALONE. We are NATURALLY SOCIAL BEINGS. You cannot fight what you are. Love yourself before taking the rols of loving someone else. Believe in the law of attraction, and no matter how bad you have it in this world, there is always someone out there who has it worse than you. So buck up guys and gals. No one is ever meant to be alone. Sure things may not work out in life, but what sense does it make to stop trying? You'll only make things worse for yourself in the end. Work hard and strive for what you want. Because in the end, you may not get where your goal was set at, but youll certainly be in a much better position from where you were originally: ALL BECAUSE YOU TRIED. If you don't try, there really is no point in living. Love yourself, dont let things hold you back no matter how heavy they are. REACH for the stars, though you may only get up in the clouds....either way, you'll be off the ground WHICH IS WHAT IM TELLING YOU ALL NOW. Be it physical, emotional, or some outside force: move on, cause thats all one can really do. By not doing anything, you eliminate all possibilities. No possibilities, no choice in living. Life will make you sad, and happy...BUT DO NOT LET IT BEAT YOU. EVERYONE HAS A PURPOSE IN LIFE. It's up to you to find it. Life is like a video game, you cna pick up the controller and keep playing until you win, or you can not play at all, but you'll never win. If thats the case, why still have the video game? Do you want to win? I'm pretty sure we all do. IT TAKES WORK is all im trying to say. Move on with life, dont stay stationary in it. when you die happy, you beat life. When you die accepting the ruts that life throws at you, you lose. you die a sad person. Dont die a sad person. Take your chance at life and make it the best you possibly can. Dont give up on being alone, sure its good for a while, but that feeling of loneliness will never go away and it WILL eat at you internally. LIVE LIFE, LOVE YOURSELF, and most of all, BE ZEN. Ryan - a man who is celibate (may be involuntarily celibate, cannot determine at this time),
MG	Ireland	" I'm 32 and haved lived alone for the past 5 ish years and I love it. ( lived with friends prior to that) I have the greatest conversations with myself, you just wouldn't believe! Anyway, I;ve never really had a steady g/f, sad as that may sound and other than feeling like I'm missing the excitement of sex, I quite like my situation. I work from home also so rarely see anyone from one end of the week to the other and that is just grand too. Sometimes I wish I wasn't like this and other times I wish I could go on like this forever! A couple of my fav quotes.. "When all is said and done, you have only yourself to depend upon and that precious light within you called God almighty. Be even with yourself. Be individual with yourself. And love what you are so that your light and how you are seen, like the stars at midnight, becomes very bright and very beautiful." " The moment one takes responsibility for oneself . . .And remember it is not all roses, there are thorns in it ; it is not all sweet, there are many bitter moments in it. The sweet is always balanced by the bitter, they always come in the same proportion. The roses are balanced by the thorns, the days by the nights, the summers by the winters. Life keeps a balance between the polar opposites. So one who is ready to accept the responsibility of being oneself with all its beauties, bitterness's, its joys and agonies, can be free. Only such a person can be free. . ."
Diane	Madison, MS USA	" I have lived alone two separate times. This is my second. I don't like it. I am a believer and am active in church. I have a job. I have grown children and grandchildren. I am blessed but I still desire to share my life with someone but that seems next to impossible so here I am trying to tolerate being alone. Friends are wonderful and bountiful but they can't hold me at night when I go to sleep or hold me when we wake up in the morning."
Jessica	Houston Texas	" I just moved out of my parent's house to an apartment in the city by myself. I love/hate the freedom that comes with it. I like not having to tell people where I'm going and who I'm going with, but at the same time, I wish someone cared. I'm considering getting a dog. At least then someone will be excited to see me when I get home "
Sonja	Newmarket Canada	" Good grief. What's wrong with living alone? I was married for over 20 years. Not a good thing. Now I have time to reflect. Do what I want, when I want. Enjoy my solitude. Read. Write. Get up when I want. Eat what I want. When I want. No longer catering to anybody but myself. Yes. Pure selfishness. Enjoy."
Tanvi t.tanvi@gmail.com	Mumbai India	" I want to live alone because i am scared to live with people. i have a broken relationship with my mom , my sister and my ex-bf whom i loved for last ten years. It's little difficult for me to fall for someone else. i am scared i might hurt him and his family as well. So i have decided to stay alone , out of choice or may even adopt a child , but i hope that relationship works for me. I have many no. of friends who love me and i love them as well. But when it comes to close ties i can't handle it. I am 22 today and i can't see myself living with anybody under one roof in near future. I am willing to remain happy alone , but someone please tell me it will work"
Shawn	Bangor USA	" I have been living alone for four months now and it has its positives and negatives...I love being free to do whatever I want. I don't have to worry about a roommate not paying his/her bills or feeling like I have to act a certain way or getting upset when I can't have alone time... I have complete and absolute privacy. I am an only child so I have always felt alone, I just really enjoy my space. The two downsides however are that bills cost more and when I am feeling social friends tend to be busy which isn't the case if you're living with a friend."
ias	Winnipeg Canada	*Hi ias --- got your great comment of 879 words it is a lot long and for it to be posted could you resubmit at about 200 - 250 words - the Editor of Living Alone*
Buffy myboytrue@hotmail.com	Waterloo Canada	" I'm 42 years old and have been living alone for 7 months after the break up of my 20 year marriage. I hate it. When my friends with families tell me they would kill for the peace and quiet it irritates me. Perhaps they would like a weekend or 2 of being alone but coming home each and every time to no one really depresses me. I have an old dog but lately i've become scared of what will happen when he dies. He is in the twilight years of his life and I would never get another dog by myself....they simply don't get enough attention with only one person looking after them. I do have a boyfriend but he has a busy life of his own and can't be around all the time. I guess I should feel lucky that I have him, my old dog, a nice house and a good job and friends but a lot of the time I just feel depressed and lonely"
Ziggy	Winnipeg Manitoba	" Loving it and hating it. I am free to come and go as I wish, spend as much time as I want on my interests and see other friends who are also single and don't have immediate committed relationships. I have lived alone since ending an unhappy marriage over 20 years ago. Occasionally I've explored the idea of another relationship but I really enjoy my personal space to do my life and feel I am happier this way. I am a more introverted person who enjoys times of social activity but then like to have my space. Once I realized that introverted people can have a happy, positive life alone I started to enjoy my life much more - giving that up now in my late 40's in my mind would be difficult. I have friends and hobbies and life is mostly peaceful. I also like to travel alone although I would enjoy that with a partner as well. There are times when I feel very alone as I deal with depression but connecting with friends and delving into my hobbies has helped me come through many rough times. A wise lady I know said when her now husband proposed to her, she didn't say yes. Over a long period of time she told him he had to prove he wouldn't make her life miserable and that he wouldn't abuse her. She told him that she would be just as happy to stay single because she was a very happy single woman with or without him. She screened him for her own happiness insurance if you will. They are a very happy couple madly in love. If I were to meet another partner some day I would follow her example"
ponty	Toronto Canada	" I'm 32 years old and still live with my parents. due to my some psychological problems, I haven't developed interest in living alone. now I'm feeling good and studying full time and feel like i should move out of my home. i've sorted out my psychological issues and feel confident i can live on my own. but it seems bit challenging to live alone after spending all of my life living with my family. my family doesn't force me to move out. but i think i should move out. it brings all kinds of pleasurable feelings when i think about living by myself. i want to know where things can go wrong when i decide to live alone. i badly want to live alone. but first i want to finish my education."
Ricky	Alice Springs Australia	" I am living alone for the past 5 years after a break-up.What the true feeling now I have about my lifestyle is that I could concentrate much over my career rather than anything else.A truely pleasant life style and even the city I use to stay is also a sort of nocturnal..back of nowhere..Just don't care about anyone and anything and don't let others to poke your life.. The greatest fun and advantage of a lonely life is the freedom of yourself.You can decide what you should do,what you shouldn't do..what you can eat what you can wear when you should sleep when you should wake up..no unwanted panic and pain..I am really getting gold out of this life style..I can select whether I wanna drink Whisky or beer,whether I wanna watch rugby or race,whether I wanna ride my motorcycle or my car,whether I wanna watch a horror movie or a thriller... The most thrilling part is my weekend visit to desert and spending whole night there,just having a company of my 9mm. This life is too interesting :-), "
Chris	Canada	" I've been single for most of my adult life and I've become so accustomed to my ways that I can't really find any room for anyone else at the moment. I've adopted a sort of attitude when I was younger that "If it happens, It happens, If it doesn't, It doesn't". I've grown more spiritual and wise in my years, and find that being alone allows me more headspace and time for me own personal growth. I have good friends and clients which keep me connected throughout the days, and my evenings are spent reading, learning or otherwise enjoying myself."
Zehra	Pakistan	"I live alone and have mixed feelings about it. I have lived n family, in hostels and with my ex and kids, I felt utter peace no where, so it is more inside me than outside. living on my own has made me see my faults and my strengths more acutely and I do like the freedom I have. But I would like to have a partner, nothing tops that. Unless I find the right man, I am very happy being with me, I do love myself, narcissistic or not."
macgraphics mac6621@gmail.com	Phoenix USA	"I LOVE living alone, and I LOVE myself. I've been alone since childhood, coming from a broken home, raised by a single mother and older brother. Father died when I was 7. Now I really am alone. They are ALL deceased. I never had problems with cooking for myself. I'm retired, have no debts, [no mortgage or car payments] and live solely on SS. I have never been more content. I am disciplined, healthy just under 6 feet, 160 lbs and 34" waist and am always busy. I appreciate what I have, while I have it now. I count my blessings; being healthy and not in pain is one of the best. I exercise 3X a week at home, go mt. biking every 2 to 3 days, always in the morning, weather permitting. My 5 year old truck has 7,000 miles on it. Have much more milage on my mt. bike. Never turn on the TV before 5 PM. Usually listen to classical music, oldies on radio/www/ipods , read a lot on my Kindle, and browse the www everyday, for the RIGHT reasons. I 'm NOT into porn, gambling, chat rooms or twittering. Keep abreast of graphic design and health subjects and some computer gaming [usually mind games]. I LOVE staying at home. I maintain the house and yard with no difficulty or dread, because I own them outright. I thought having lost my dog to old age 3 years ago would be terrible, but not having a pet after 30 years of always having one, I like not having to be responsible for a pet or for anyone else, is also a blessing. There isn't a moment as I go from room to room in my home, that I don't appreciate having the house. I like keeping to myself and not having to share my home as I have in the past. Been totally alone now for 25 years, and I still enjoy everyday in my solitude. Retirement is great. I didn't realize how miserable I WAS, while having a job and living with someone. For me, life is GREAT NOW"
Katie	Southern California USA	" Had a long term relationship x 17 yrs- partner, family, house, lake house, trips, the whole thing package. Now I am living with my dog. I love it. Some moments are still painful that it almost doubles me over-yet it has made me stronger than I ever thought possible. And, it has opened new doors and windows in my psyche- every day I discover something new- I look forward to each day. I miss someone holding me and I miss being there for someone else. My thought is, if it is meant to be, it will be. Love yourself"
Chris Perkins yetmach@yahoo.com	Lima Peru	" I don't exactly live alone. I'm too poor to live alone (I'm a private English teacher in Peru). I rent a room in a big house where there are lots of other renters. But aside from a conversation in the hall every now and again, I don't have much to do with anybody else in the house. I spend most of my time at home playing guitar. I have no TV or radio because I`m into the spiritualiy thing and try to keep my attention in the moment and in my body as much as possible, not lost in thoughts or mind activity. I like living alone because most other people I know don't enjoy silence like I do. They always want some kind of noise or something to distract them. It's nice to be able to sit in my room in the evening and just 'be'. Sometimes I struggle with depression. Being alone makes that difficult. It's not usually a good idea to spend too much time cooped up in the house. I live near the beach so I like to go for walk along the coast. I have seen so many beautiful sunsets sitting by myself along the 'malecon'. It was nice to read a lot of these comments by other people going through the same situation of being by yourself much of the time. I especially enjoyed those who found the humor in the situation. It can be a tragedy or a comedy depending on how you look at it. When I was a kid (by the way I'm 29) I had guinea pigs. For some reason I've always liked them. Perhaps I'll get one. It would be nice to have a pet. Getting back into meditation and yoga would be a good idea too. Going for runs in the evenings is a great release. The best thing about living alone is finding completeness in yourself and not believing you need someone else to be complete. Thanks everybody for sharing
Z.T.	Big D	" Coming out of a 3yr relationship where she lived with me and the being alone for 3yrs is really getting to me. I just broke up with someone that I guess I should to must affection too. Maybe it's just I want someone to care about me and want to know whats going on in my day. I don't know but being alone and not having someone care about you besides your family is just hard."
Shayne	Canada	" Living alone is always a gift, but it does have disadvantages. No matter how hard it may seem, it will always get better. Of course it is hard at first but it will not stay that way. It drains me every day just getting out of bed, going to work my 12-15 hour shift from may-october but it is really great. I am laid off until spring so I do not make much money right now, but I do not have anybody else to support, just myself. Right now I cannot even find a reason to get out of bed in the morning, but it does get easier, before I literally did not get out of bed in the morning, I just stayed in bed until I had to go to the bathroom. So I only got out every 2-3 days. I just eat whatever I can find that I can keep near my bed, like chips, cookie doughn chocolate bars, pop, anything I can leave in bed while I do everything. The worst part is that I am eating more and actually losing weight. but every now and then I just stay in bed all day watching tv and playing video games. I never have any friends over and I do not date, so it is all the more reason to stay in bed all day. all I can really say is that it is always hard at first but you grow into that type of lifestyle, nobody to tell you what to do, what to wear, what to eat, what to watch, and the list goes on. All you do is pay the bills and morgtage/rent and do whatever you want. It will always have its depressing moments but it has it's uplifting moments too. Nobody can laugh at you when something happens, nobody is around to hear foul language or see something they shouldn't"
Lee leedxb@yahoo.com	Bombay India	" I hate living alone but I have been a victim of bad luck when it comes to relationships. I have always been let down when I felt something was close to achieving my dreams. Hence now after turning 42 years I have given up on my dreams and accepted my life as a single female. Finding a soulmate and love are not destined for all I guess "
ballerine	USA	" I read a few of the comments here and it seems that most people are unhappy living "alone". First, I would like to say that I choose to live by myself, not alone. Contentment and true happiness cannot come from any outside source, be it a situation, event, or another person. Being with oneself is a great gift, an opportunity for self realization. Love is a state of being. "
Shane	Moncton New Brunswick	" I always loved living alone. I do not plan to start dating anytime soon. Living alone is the freedom of being able to do whatever I want, when I want to. I only have to pay the rent and bills and I can spend the rest on what I want, not what anybody else wants me to spend it on. I just need to support myself, so I only have a couple of decent meals a month, and I can get simple meals like macaroni and cheese, mr. noodles, rice & roni, just simple side dishes for under 2$ each. I always wanted to live alone, so instead of complaining about it I went out and did something about it."
Jon Kotila18@cox.net	Surprise USA	" I became divorced five months ago, but I was separated 18 months ago. At first it was extremely painful. But after a year, I began to love it, and I love it now. I wouldn't want to live with someone again (as I feel today). I love being able to eat the things I want, preparing meals I enjoy. I have a support system in my daughter and son-in-law's family, plus I have my son (almost 30). I think it's important to maintain a connection with someone and not isolate. Finding a hobby isn't always the easiest thing to do, but I found mine and it keeps me busy a good portion of the day (and no one interrupts me). I'm retired, so I can enjoy naps and sleep when I want to. I think that once one passes the initial stages of loneliness, things get better. I feel blessed to be in the situation I'm in.,"
Phocion	Midland TX USA	" As a certified, card-carrying misanthrope, I must be alone. I love being alone. Being alone allows me to be happy. Even one person in the room creates stress. I have cultivated The Loner reputation at this apartment complex and no one bothers me, no one knocks on my door, etc. Living alone, being alone, is heaven."
Veronuica vthompsonn@aol.com	Bronx New York	" Well I just moved into my own condo about a week ago. I can admit that it is strange living alone, but I also believe that we create our own happiness and misery. I am single with no children at the age of thirty, I dont look at my situation as something to be upset over, I look at is as an opportunity to make the most out of the time that God has given me. Take up classes, go for a walk, have dinner, go to a disco, go to the library and enjoy the serenity that comes with walking around your house butt-booty naked, I know I do"
	Dublin Ireland	" im 19 and have been living on my own almost 3 months now.. its the most difficult thing i hope i will ever experience. i moved out in order to be closer to school but i am having regrets.. i have no friends in college (or anywhere else for that matter) and my boyfriend decided to break things off while i was moving out.. iv never felt so alone or stressed.. and i never realised how much energy it takes just to look after YOURSELF! buying food,doing dishes, taking out the trash, cooking, getting up in the morning.. everything is a struggle for me..i have at least discovered i dont EVER want children! i do think this experience will ultimately build my character but for the moment its living hell. i really hope i meet someone.. i couldnt stick living alone like this for longer than a few months:(, "
Irene Crowe	El Monte CA USA	" Its nice not to have to get up early since I'm retired...I can sleep as l o n g as I want to or take a nap when I want to. Course I do it at reasonable times to be sure the pets are cared for properly. They're my company. No incessant chatter, peace usually reins. If I want company, I go out, or talk to friends on the phone. I talk to friends every night. I'm starting to care enough about looking decent, put on make-up when I go out front to water the lawn! Ha! I have very nice, decent neighbors, which helps. Living alone is better than being used by a spouse who feels they are superior. I have a lovely grown daughter, and her significant other, who is like a son to me. Thats all, folks. It IS good to hear from others in like situations. BTW, I don't cook unless its fried eggs! There are such marvelous ready-to-eat meals, even for veggies, and no dishes to wash. Paper plates are wonderful. I went through a time of feeling totally over-whelmed when I was raising my daughter alone. She would visit him on weekends, but the brunt of knowing how to handle all situations took lots of help from counselors and friends. Thank Heavens for them."
Molly	Vegreville Canada	" I too have been alone for 20 years now, have four kids, seven grandkids and all of them gone. I am so busy with my volunteer work and my beautiful dog Bouncer, who keeps me active, and moving, and entertained, I have no time to feel sorry for myself; you see, I lost my children in the divorce, and when they had babies, they chose never to share them with me. I know all about them, but I am not allowed to visit, send cards or gifts.I have accepted this as my fate due to the fact that 'his' family is wealthy and has a powerful estate. I am glad my kids have a future. Some day, maybe I will get to meet one of them, but for now I am getting an education by myself, working, out of debt, healthy, and 'finally free.' I don't cry because I know it won't get me anywhere. I know what goes around - comes around. I am blessed by great friends and my 'wonder-dog.' We need to be thankful for what we have, where we are, and the rest will eventually fall into place. - I just know it will some day."
Sanju ashsuas@yahoo.com	kedah Malaysia	" I WANT TO MEET A GOOD PEOPLE. IM alone here...,"
Eli elijgarza@juno.com	Detroit Mich	"Hello all. I'm 24 years old and have been living alone for three years. I hate it. I'm a good looking person but cant find a female i am attracted to (body and mind). After two relationships, both not lasting more than two years, I have learned to not settle for less. As for friends, I've made some and got rid of old ones (not seeing eye to eye). The new friends i can't get close to them (depending on where i meet them. For example, work i can get comfortable with them). In any event, i am tired of coming home to an empty place with no one to talk to and things still in the same place i put them. Although i try to make my life busy--working out, visiting family, continuing my education, and soon joining a bowling league, it just plain sucks living alone. I would love to have someone i can converse with, hold, and love, but i guess it isn't time or may never be time, i don't know."
Rajiv ravichery@gmail.com	Dubai UAE	" It was extremely difficult for me during the first few weeks to live alone and away from my family, in another country. After a few weeks I have adapted to this life-style. I keep my radio ON all the time to avoid the silence. TV will make you idle and force you to sit or lie down in one place, so I found radio better. I do exercise and dancing for more than an hour daily. Do regular yoga (pranayama-deep breath). I feel more fit and healthy now. I don't like living alone at all and I miss my family terribly."
Sara	London UK	" Well, I last posted a message two days after I moved into a flat on my own - a week on and I can honestly say things are better! I've found myself getting into a routine and I'm really enjoying turning my flat into a home. I can honestly say there are benefits - quite simply I can do what I want, when I want - and that's refreshing! I'm still struggling with cooking for one (it never fails to be depressing) but I've decided I'm not going to turn to ready meals for one, but rather eat well every day, cooking something from scratch. So to all those in the same boat as me, don't give up and don't despair - living alone really isn't all that bad :) "
Sara	London UK	" I'm 25 and just moved out of my parents home a couple of days ago and I'm struggling. I just feel so alone. I've been in tears for the whole weekend panicking that this is what my life will be from now on; sitting on my on in a quiet flat. I'm so used to a busy, noisy house with dogs and cats that coming home to an empty flat fills me with dread. The stupid thing is that my parents live 5 minutes away and my sister just a little further but I feel like they'll be sick of the sight of me if I keep visiting them! What can I do to make my flat feel like home? Tell me it will get better? Please!, "
Tony gnroses76@hotmail.com	Hollywood California USA	" I've been living alone for 2 months; I know it does not seem to be much but it feels like eternity. Let me start by saying that i have lost everything i have owned. I lost my house and all my belonging. Now i'm living in my car; sleeping in different areas around the city. I'm doing this by choice until i get back on my feet. I have a stable job and just saving until i see something i can afford. The reason why i feel so alone is because i have not seen my family over a year now. There have not been any contact whatsover, all of my family are not in good terms and that is why of the separation. We just can't get along. We rather live far away apart then close. There have been attempts to let the bygones be bygones but no hope. And this is waht's killing me, the distance of the family.....i've always believe that family comes first but not in my case. All i have now is God/my job/my car and the road.... "
Maree mare40s@hotmai.com	Gold Coast Australia	"Maybe because in about to turn 50. I have been alone for about four yrs now, my husband left me for my so called best friend. I believe it was the deceit that keeps me from moving on and getting close to another human being. I do get lonely, I miss being held and loved and to feel special. yes i have had a few males past through my life since but I am still very wary. I do have kids and grandkids but they do their own thing. I now have a cat and i keep busy by working and getting out there. The whole dating scene well what a joke, most men my age want females who are younger or need to be average size, what the hell is average size. I am thinking about moving back to NZ to be near my family but it is so dam cold in winter over there. At least i will have family and friends around. One day maybe"
danielle angeldeelite05@yahoo.com	Bronx USA	" I hate living alone. moved out from my moms place a month ago. i cry every night. i don't even want to watch tv. I love my apartment but wished there was someone to share it with. thinking of maybe moving back home. please, someone tell me it will get better"
Kelly mizkcreations@yahoo.com	Cincinnati OH USA	" Ok. I hate living alone...and I'm ashamed of that. I like myself just fine, I'm interesting, have hobbies, but the loneliness eats through me. I work from home which doesn't help and I have a significant other who doesn't want to cohabitate. I've lived with someone for 27 years, the last 2 being alone and it isn't easier. Linda from Anchorage "I have an artistic and spiritual soul" too, but I always feel alone. How is it that we are so different? I'm with a great therapist, I have good friends, but even 24 hours is hard. After 2 years it should be easier, right? Solid suggestions would help?"
Rick crusoe123987@aol.com	London UK	" Of work ill this morning I have sat and read through many comments. In just about all of them I see my own feelings and thoughts expressed by others. Over my adult years I have lived equally alone and in a relationship, nine years of highs an lows with my ex and 9 years of the flatness single and alone. Although I preferred living as part of a couple and although I would like to meet someone again one day, I cannot see myself ever changing living alone now. Mainly because I am so comfortable being alone that it would take someone truly special to change that, "
C.C.	USA	" I have lived alone for 13 years and it really bothers me. My problem is that convincing a significant other to live with me seems to be the greatest difficulty. She won't consider it. I feel living together will bring us closer. Once you feel connected with someone, you want to be with that person all the time. Living with her, would bring that closeness and companionship that is lacking in my living alone life"
Sharon fireheart@rocketmail.com	Melbourne Australia	" Living alone, I am coming to the conclusion that I do not like it at all. My husband passed away 9 months ago and after having somebody in my life for 34 years the gaping hole that is there constantly is no fun at all. I use to relish my days alone when he was alive. He would be away with his work for 3-4 days at a time and I loved it. The difference then was I knew he would be coming home and I knew that I could contact him at any time. We had a great marriage and it is the little things that I miss so much. Our boys are grown men and while they are very good it is not the same as having that partner that will snuggle with you on the couch, celebrate the ups and downs with you, help you make the bed. There is only set of clothes to wash and iron, nobody to walk with, nobody to touch or be touched by. While I can come and go as I please, there really is nowhere that I please to do that. Maybe as time moves on I will become more use to it and embrace it. Maybe at 54 there will be somebody else out there for, however at this stage I am still very much married and I do not see that as an option. I would be very interested in hearing from anybody in a similar situation on how they are coping and how to actually be bothered to eat a decent meal instead of a piece of toast. "
Gigi gmg12667@yahoo.com	Buffalo NY USA	" I have just gotten my book published about living happily ever after as a single person. It's called "32 and Counting? Living Happily Ever After Today" and it's available at Amazon.com. I think your website followers will enjoy this book and the perspective it brings"
Lupita lupitaortiz1@msn.com	Arizona USA	" In my case I don't live alone but its like I do. I come from a family of 5 my best friend my brother passed away in 2000, then my Mother passed in 2005. My oldest brother wants nothing to do with my Father so guess what? now not even with me. So My Father and I are all along. So I thought Dad found someone now and spends all his time with her. He is now living his life and I am happy for him. I was married for 16 yrs and did the big D in 1993 I had two boys with him and now they are on their own... 1998 I remarried and had my daughter she is now 9 my husband has a big family but they are a family that its all about them and their together ness if you know what I mean.. Anyway what I am getting at is my husband and I just got back together in nov 2008 we had divorced in 2007 go fig?? I know I do stupid things all the time and this is one of them that I am not proud of but I was alone and did it to make my daughter happy. wrong thing t o do now here I am doing this all over again. We dont like each other and now its even worst his mother passed in may of this year and I feel more sorry for him, so I wont go anywhere because I feel that he needs me..I think the hardest part is I cant do this anymore andill I feel all along its like I do live along he is never here with my daughter and I and I dont have family to go too so here is my story I guess what I am trying to say is you can live along even though u have someone if thats what you want to call it..Someday God will send someone to me who will really love me and be there for me and my daughter....."
alper	Istanbul Turkey	" I m alone, have a story of course, but alone, cannot find anything to do rather than tv, pc, or any other machine, cant eat well, cant have company on sleep, cant do many things i have to do with someone sometimes i ask for paid ladies to come over, just to have company, don't like this life, yet i am separated because i didn't want to share. worst part of being alone is working. I don't know the reason i go for the job in the morning, don't know the reason of working in the day, and don't know the reason coming back home, the empty building. im sharing these feelings a lot with my friends and family, they don't care after some point. for suggestions, i live due to my respect to the cycle of my life, and hope..."
Dorothy	St. Louis United States	"I found this site because I was feeling so lonely and could not sleep. I was in a relationship for over 30 years and we were living together when he died three years ago. With no hesitation, I can say that I do not like living alone. I miss the little things about living with someone--having someone to talk to at the end of the day, to wake up with in the morning, the emotional and physical closeness. I have a great job, am financially secure, have loving children and grandchildren, but here is still a hole that none of this can fill. Because I am 65, I will probably never have another relationship. So I hope that living alone will someday be something that I do not hate"
Christine	Salt Lake City Utah	" I have lived alone off and on throughout my 32 years. I've been heart broken over a jerk for the past two years. I'm almost out of friends and I really don't like my job. Most every day is a struggle. So to take away the loneliness and boredom...I drink and smoke a lot. Most people say I'm pretty, but I just have a hard time meeting men. I stress because I'm sick of being the 3rd or 5th wheel. I'd love to share my life with that special someone and there are so many things I'd like to do that I don't want to do alone. I'm trying to except that I may be alone forever but deep down I really "hope". I got cat not to long ago, but now I'm afraid of becoming the cat lady. I've always wanted to be in a relationship. I guess that's why I'm alone. I sometimes feel like their are so many people that I will never find a true connection with someone. I'm waiting to become comfortably numb.<
Alena	North Carolina USA	" Epiphany* I just came to the conclusion that I will never get married. I've been afraid to even contemplate this b/c it was too scary and terrifying but even though it is painful at 31 it is just reality for me. Sure, I'm an attractive, intelligent, professional woman with zero kids but I'm a dime a dozen in this city and the numbers are growing. Attainable short term goals are now in my near future like long hair. My hair should grow out to the length I want in two years tops (I just cut it). And getting a manicure where they don't talk crap about you in Korean. I live alone but of course I miss the love of a man's arms and his smell but once I'm dead it won't even matter. I don't know if this will help anyone but I figure that as soon as you accept the fact then you'll do a lot better. No need in having false hope?
Matt	Sydney Australia	" What wrong with living by yourself its like E.G never growing an arm or leg. If you have never experienced love you have not lost love. I have been single just about my whole life so far 30yrs. Life is great as it is."
britanniacats		" Hi Jesse I know what you mean. I've been alone for 8 years. I do get very lonely at times. But it has gotten easier as the years go by. I was a foster parent for 23 years so I was used to a busy household. I don't really have a good friend I can just pop in on to have tea and talk. So I go to the library to be around people and I read. I've also joined a group called the Red Hat Ladies. I enjoy going out occasionally with them. I can come and go as I like which at times is nice. I rarely cook for myself so there's not a lot of dishes (that's a plus). From what I've read it's something you just become accustom to "
Anoni Maus	USA	" I enjoy very much since I am an Empathic Sensitive and need that. I find things to do that I can enjoy doing alone. I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables and enjoy being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. Yes, it does sometimes get a bit lonely, but that passes quickly. I am blessed with a lot of talents, and I try to use them for the glory of God and to help other people. Once a person has experienced living alone, it really does change their life, from then on. I think it's something every person should try at least once in their life. It helps you to realize just how much of an independent, capable, and confident person you are"
jomlor@embarqmail.com	Ohio USA	"I enjoy this site and had come across it as I was searching for an answer to my problem of living alone. I lost my husband about a year and a half ago, and it's been very difficult for me trying to adjust to being alone. I feel that if God wants someone to come into my life, He will cause it to happen. I'm just so encouraged by knowing there have been others in the same boat that have handled being alone in a remarkable way. It can be a positive experience."
Jessie	CA USA	"I've been single all my life - in and out of relationships. Some great, some not so much. I've mostly enjoyed living alone - being shipped via plane back and forth between parents since I was eight and boarding school since high school equipped me for independence for the most part. Lots of friends, personal interests and the occasional boyfriend staved off loneliness too. I was having fun being single and on my own! But then, almost suddenly it seemed, I found myself out of my upteeth relationship, in a small town away from my friends, and closer than ever to forty. I feel more alone than I ever have in my life and all of a sudden I feel as though I've just missed all the good stuff - husband, children, the whole family and community thing. Living alone never really bothered me until now. I've read all the advice - have hobbies, pets, etc. Well, I have those things (my dogs are great, I have varied interests - so I'm not a bump on a log) but I feel sooo damned alone now. I really don't want to troll for men simply to avoid being by myself - that is too sad. Can anyone else relate?!? ,
gDP DePaolo depgra@aol.com	coram united States	"I've blessed in all aspects of my life. I'm 59 and a widow. I've had a wonderful journey so far and living alone is the best gift. Freedom to visit your own mind & explore. Didn't do that raising a family & working. Now I do everything I ever wanted to do, gardening, reading, pets, weekends out, but I have my privacy. I'm very content being alone because I like my own company"
Me ddbouchard@gmail.com	Chelmsford ma USA	" I like it but miss my family. My wife and I are separated and the worst thing for me is being alone. I come from a family of 7 which I was the youngest child. I am just use to being around family so when my wife and I separated I found that we are so different. her being chinese and me being an outdoor person, I.e. camping, fishing, mountain biking and hiking, she never came once over 9 years of marriage. I always went where she wanted to but when I would ask her to come and experience the world of the woods, camping and night fishing and just sitting by a warm fire, she would never go. I like that I can do what I want, but want I want to do I don't seem to be able to do it. I feel lonely often and wish I had someone who enjoyed the things I do. Music is another thing that was so different, think about it. I am a romantic woodsmen kinda guy with a truck but work as a Sr. Engineer Computer advanced Computing. Make great money, but still wish I had the hole filled in me. God has done that to a spiritual point, as I am a christian but being human (from missing one rib, if you know the story)I wish I had it back someone next to me not being or in front but just side by side. Then I can live with that person. Find her for me."
John	UK	" Living alone is an art and also when you live alone you have more time to think. Living life alone can be fulfilling but only if you can see how difficult relationships can be because your attitude is that you don't have those complications of power struggles etc. I think its the passion with another person we miss although its brief and the longer it goes on gets stale so we have to use our imagination . No No ! give me my freedom the joy of it and my independence"
Betzblue dragonflygurl4u@yahoo.com	Portland Tn USA	" I posted from Central Oregon before I retired, and am now living in my own home ( Bought my first home, due to a foreclosure & sheer luck) I am taking care of my 90 yr old father who is in the early stages of Alzheimer's so it's sort of like I am alone most of the time. I used to fret about being alone something fierce, as I was once prone to panic attacks in my younger years ( living in a horrible, violent community full of idiots, hookers, dopers and thieves). (I was none of the above, just cheap rent). I have since, made peace with my fears & anxieties. I am not involved in a relationship ( and have not been since 2003) I find that I am my own best friend, I can take out my own trash, plant my own gardens ( providing myself with flowers), unplug my toilet, change a light bulb, handle a mean paintbrush, watch what I want on TV, listen to my music, laugh or cry when ever it suits me, get tattoos if I so desire, not have to hear someone snoring like a grizzly bear, not have to fake " oh baby you are the best"( when he really wasn't) not have to get all dolled up , if I prefer lolling about in jeans and t shirt, Don't get me wrong, I do long for stimulating conversation now & then, but I don't like having to beg anyone for attention, and that's not only about men...it's also about family members who call only when they need money, the rest of the time they are "too busy" to give a rats arse. So I busy myself with taking care of my hero ( father) and writing, and gardening, and enjoying life one day at a time. Cheers "
Rich	Conshohohcken USA	" The freedom of living alone is incredible. Quietly is rebuilds any lack of confidence a person lost! You don't have to argue with a roommate, feel uncomfortable living in the same apartment with somebody else and it is a great test as well. If you can't live alone than you will have problems living with someone else!"
Paul	Canada	" I love it and I hate it. I have been alone now for 3 years after a long term relationship and raising 2 great daughters who are 18 and 19 now. I honesty don't think I will ever find anyone to spend the rest of my life with. I see lots of woman that I would love to meet but never actually go over and chat with them. I seen a woman the other day at lunch and I thought...wow..she is beautiful and she was sitting by herself having lunch....I wanted so bad to go over and introduce myself and ask if I could join her. But I didn't. I miss having a woman around, the smell of her when she walks past, her beautiful smile when we see each other, her soft skin and silky hair. I really am a nice guy, have a good job, a nice house and love to travel. That said I really don't think I will ever find anyone to spend it with. I believe this will be the worst generation ever for people living alone. How can it get any worse. I miss you and I don't even know you."
John john63871@insightbb.com	Lexington USA	" I've been living alone for about, 6 years now. Yes, it has its advantages and disadvantages. Thats Why people call me a hermit. That's is ok too, I, pay my bills, don't have to worry about someone els paying their half the rent. If, i live alone then that is the way the man upstairs God, my higher power whats it to be. If my igher power says that im ready for a relationship with a Femail, and She,s the boss, then that time has not yet come. When you live alone3 its up to me to keep t5his place clean (condo). It sure is nice to here youself think at the age of 55, i can not make that much noise livin alone, but do need to have respect for my niebors, and keep the tv sound down."
Sharon	Sarawak Malaysia	" I love living alone, except the part about security. I was attacked by an intruder a few years ago (being female and living alone makes you more vulnerable, I guese). After that I adopted a dog and a few months later, adopted another puppy. Now they're my constant companion. The best part about living alone is I can do what I wish to do without having to consider other people's feeling. However, it does get lonely sometimes. And of course in my culture, it is not normal nor common for a young single woman to live alone"
Trent	Melbourne Australia	" I've been living by myself for almost seven years now and can't wait to find a good woman to share my bed and bathroom with. I thought I'd found her only to discover, after spending 18 months overseas setting up what was to be our home, she didn't hold the same aspirations. Sure life can be grand living by yourself for some time...no stressing about annoying habits, cleaning up, the freedom to do what you want when you want; but when you find that someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, there's nothing else better on earth than waking up to that person, and knowing you're not going to be alone again. Well that's what I prefer...and to those of you who haven't found that yet, wait till you do. It's an experience worth sharing!"
Mario	Quebec Canada	" Hello everyone i am a man and i am 41 I've been living alone since 15 years and happy... i think i love this lifestyle cause it gives me freedom which to me is priceless...also in other words i can be myself... I am very curious so i do lot of different things like music, computer gaming, carpentry, decoration, reading and i have a house so there is always something to do...but i also enjoy to chill and watch movies...i mean there is so much things you can do...btw my father died recently and my mother is now living alone...i bought her a playstation and showed her how to play ...now she have something to have fun with makes her life a little bit more interesting.. she is 63. I believe we are all here to find love but it seems to me love is not really the answer because look around you it doesn't last...So what is left for you?...to fill that emptiness...Serenity ,wisdom and hope...have a look at the big picture...Most of us live in a world full of opportunities...i mean i live in North America...and tomorrow anything can happen...i live for the moment... i can meet that soul mate anytime tomorrow or maybe not. i can meet my real best friend also or maybe not...what will you do in the meantime? waiting? no!!!!!better start living... NOW...Everyday i feel like i am the luckiest guy in the world ...I am imperfect but i learned to appreciate my imperfections...i am not rich but i learned to appreciate every penny that i can spend...i am not beautiful but i learned to find all the beauty around me so it makes me feel beautiful...even when sometimes you feel too much things are against you...be strong, be yourself, don't compromise, don't change to please people (its a trap) please yourself...i know it sound selfish but you don't know how much you contribute to make everybody's life better by making yours better...now i know i ll be misunderstood and a lot of people will interpret on the negative way ...my suggestion is read it again and again until u are positive about it...I love music...when you feel that u are losing faith in humanity just listen to your favorite song ...to me music is a strong proof of how beautiful the soul we have can be...what man can do...it applies for everything... art, architecture, cooking, wine, speech, poetry, gardening and technology...just by sharing my thoughts with you i feel no void i can almost feel the love...:) Have a great journey..."
Kris Dey kdey@flexiblefoam.com		" I ’m 53, a widow of 10 years, no family or close friends; I tend to isolate. I have MS which limits me. Where (besides a bar or church) can I meet people?"
John	Stroud in Gloucestershire United Kingdom	" Living alone is not so bad, In any case in reality we live alone up there in our brain and look out at the world through our ability to see. we are aware of the noises around us the sight's to and if we cannot hear we are more aware our ability to use our feelings and senses more. At anytime no one can be certain what we are thinking or feeling . Being aware of the above helps one to cope well because you realise we are all alone in reality and the mind would have us think if we have a friend or a partner we are not alone but in reality we are pretending we are not alone. We all stand alone however having a friend or partner is supportive to a degree only and vulnerable to change. Those who cope well alone are happy with their own company . There is no such thing as normal what is ? We are what we are and nothing can change that not even a partner or friend. We all need to accept we can live alone if we are happy with whom we are and if we are not then we need to try to understand ourselves more and to change our perceptions for it is fear that leads us astray from reality."
Amy	Toronto Canada	" I have been living alone for 9 years. Like most of you I have come to appreciate all the positives. I am in my fifties, very independent, love my life and generally, pretty happy. I just wish that there was some way of connecting with other like minded happy singles who just want to meet new friends, socialize more and generally enjoy all life has to offer without feeling like we are on a mission to find the 'special someone'. Any suggestions??,"
Ray	London	" Ive been living alone for 5 years, Im 25 now, I have a decent job, but I have no friends or a girlfriend, I live away from my family. I care for them, and they care for me, but we don't understand each other very well. People make me feel alienated, and I alienate people, which used to make me feel guilty and believe that perhaps I was a bad person in another life, or the child of the devil. It is never my intention to do so, so I chose not to feel this way. Why feel bad because of people who don't understand you? I might be a weirdo, but Ive chosen to be a happy one. I always go out in the weekends, eat in restaurants, go shopping, go to the cinema, travel, read, play the guitar etc I am always in the best company I can find. Oscar Wilde said: to love one self is the beginning of an affair that will last until the day that you die. And I think it is true. I used to have a girlfriend, we understood and loved each other very much, she had to move on, but she gave me the best time of my life, even though it was hard when she left, I will be forever in gratitude to her for making me happy"
Rather not say doglvrusa@hotmail.com	Pennsylvania USA	" I just found this site today....it's cold damp, and rainy outside, so I don't know if this is the best and will be the most accurate account of my feelings. I've been living alone, after a divorce, for 20 years. I have children that live away from home. I used to date, had some marriage proposals which I passed on, and now just losing interest in going out with men. I have a decent; although, small social life, have the love of my animals, keep busy with neighborhood activities but still I find myself lonely and depressed for something else. I've tried dating sites on the internet - the anticipation is exciting, but am very uneasy about actually following up to answer anyone, so I don't. Here's my question to everyone (maybe somebody out there has had experience with this): If I move to another area in the US, could/would this possibly change my life? I think about "starting over" which at my age, scares me. I took early retirement so I don't have the camaraderie of people at the workplace - I do volunteer work but I'm the type of person who needs and can handle a lot of things to do - it keeps me going and my mind working. Some days I like living alone - no one to report to, no pressures of sex, can do what I want.....but on the other hand, no one to discuss everyday happenings, cooking for one (ugh!) etc. I'm finding that this site can either be depressing or a God Send. "
Jim	Terre Haute United States	" I have been living alone now for going on 13 years. After my divorce (which was very difficult and changed all of us forever) my kids and ex-wife that is and even my parents and siblings, I think divorce affects everyone. Anyway, living alone is a lifestyle, whether it is by choice or because of other circumstances. For me I just keep thinking that I will meet the (one) but after 13 yrs I have pretty much given up. I think that if you are strong in character then you can over come the pitfalls of living alone, I mean there are some things that are nice about it, like I have seen on some of the other posts, going around in your birthday suit and the such, doing things the way you want to with out worrying about how the other person is going to react , or get their feelings hurt. But I have to wonder what my life would have been like if I would of had things different, and had a loving woman to be my partner, friend lover, etc. Deep down insider I really don't believe that human beings are meant to be alone, we need to feel acceptance, love, closeness, warmth from another person. I think that we can survive being alone just fine because we just learn to accept it and learn to cope with it, but deep down inside I believe that each person really wants to be a part of feeling the human touch and just don't admit it because they want to appear strong and act like it doesn't bother them, but aI don't believe them."
Lee eloheem2@comcast.com	Portland Oregon	" Something just pop in my mind and I thought I'd google men that like living alone, just to see if anyone else was out there. My thoughts are that women are more likely to live alone and that most people except that as normal, but not so normal for a man especially for a middle aged man to do it. I love living alone. There are times when having someone to share personal things with would be nice, but I love being an artist, chef, musician and even if I just do those things at home they seem to keep me interested and busy. For me the hard thing is keeping it that way, I love women and they seem to love me. If I get involved it's hard to keep my life all to me so I try to just have causal encounters and just maintain a friendship if I can. I do in my thoughts want to meet someone that fits into my program and me fit into their life and idea of what a relationship should be. But I've been single for along time, and I do like it.I will be single until I fine that person I could live without, but life is just so much better with them, then without them. I have been married before, a long time ago."
Karen	USA	" I was just goggling to see what people think about living alone. I never realized there would be such an array of comments. Well, I have, most of my life lived with someone, parents, friends, sisters, children and husbands. Even between my first marriage and second there was no "alone" time. It was too scary for me to think I had to make it by myself. This last relationship I was in, I never thought he would leave me but one day and one email later, my marriage was over. I still had kids living with me at the time but back in December my son decided to move back in with his Dad. So I have been alone now for 3 months, for the most part, living in a new state. I have been on a search for a man that would be faithful to me and knows how to communicate. Dating sites and scammers, go hand in hand. If you want a decent place to date, online, it would have to be a pay site, the scammers don't go to them (the ones from Nigeria and such) Anyways, I am getting use to living alone and the more I live alone the more I like it. Not having to answer to anyone, not having to feel obligated to have sex to keep a relationship going, I get up when I want and go to bed when I want. Right now I am happy with the way things are, who knows I may hate it do"wn the line, but for me, I think this living alone, just might be okay"
Devlin	London Canada	" I've only lived alone for three months, but I still don't like it. Then again I'm only 17. When I'm at school, work, or doing something it's fine but as soon as I'm at home doing nothing it really sets in and I don't like it."
Rohit	pune India	" I am the most confused person ever somebody has imagined i think so i am living alone from last 4 years no freind, no girl freind i dont know what happens to me i am just 24 yr old i am doing my studies and i am happy with me i dont need anybody When I live alone I can create my own fantasy world,(Trust Me I Am Not A despreid) i am waiting for my dream girl i never search her one day ill get her suddenly i know that but i am happy because everybody is alone and i dont want to be the part of crowed... i read books listen to music and sometimes talk to my mother over the phone I Am The Best I know That And I love to live alone"
Cheryl	Toronto Ontario	" Well here I am, living alone, I wanted it, but day to day, I work hard and when I get home, I feel lazy and somewhat depressed, about living alone. I don't go out, I don't keep up with friends or try to make new ones, because then I would have to out or clean my place to have someone in. I take care of my 2 cats, and for me, I feel like I am missing who I once was, a very happy, full of energy woman, who had everything once and now feel like I have lost everything I had. Not sorry I have taken risk, but lonely at the thought the things I did, have left me nothing but myself. My choice, but now I need change.........how to go about it? I don't know. I am alone and have nobody to ask."
Brian traintyme590@msn.com	Canada	" I have posted before. well I still live alone, and still enjoy it. My work and contact friends keep me exposed to social obligations, but my time at home is mine. To do as I please, when I please (would not give that up for anything) A person has to be able to live with themself, and for some, they need to work at that aspect. I think of the thought, we bring nothing into this world, and we surely take nothing out! so enjoy life, smell a flower, pat a dog on the head, say Hi to the neighbour, but above all do not take life so serious., "
Ramaathaas rambaw1963@gmail.com	Penang Malaysia	" Well.. after reading all the comments, only now i do realize that i'm not alone in this world anymore. 've been married past 18 years with three lovely kids. Unfortunately, since the beginning of our relationship as partners all went wrong and both of weren't really happy. We were living for the sake of the kids and the society. As time passed, we weren't respecting each other and finally everything ended. She took all my kids with her and prevented me from talking or seeing them. i loved them so much and had all the things done for them before but when they themselves didn't bother to call or talk to me.. i felt really upset and just kept silence. till this date, it's has been already a year since i saw them lastly. i tried locating them but failed. And the worst part of my life is trying to get adjusted with the life alone as i'm a disable man. My only good pal is this computer and the internet connection which really accompanies me at the moment. I need good, sincere friends whom i can depend and pour out my feelings. Kindly mail me if you're interested.- Thanks."
Teresa	Calgary Alberta Canada	" So many of these comments seem filled with yearning, for what was lost or never found. Relationship failure is a hard and painful reality. Love yourself the way you long to love someone else. It's a good way to begin "living" alone. "
Nicky	Burnaby Canada	" I have always been living alone. I did live with someone for five years, up until five years ago. After that, I had lost my lucrative career and had to work every single day, just to pay my bills. I did find time to date others, but eventually, I had discovered that most people were users and players. I had always been looking for someone who could be faithful. Within the last several months, my financial situation got better, so I took a chance to date someone. But the guy turned out to be a player who pretended to be a long term minded person. The guy actually thought we were still in a relationship after five months of absence! After a couple of more dates, I realized I would be better off alone. But still, I wanted to be social, because frankly, I was tired of living alone. So I looked for a person who could just be a friend. Did that venture ever turn out to be bitter! Again, even a friend could be a user! So am I destined to be alone? I have a couple of friends who live outside of my province and area, so I am not entirely alone. I guess I am determined to find things to better myself and make myself happy."
Brenda	Agazzi British Coloumbia	" Me I think when you live alone you actually have to learn to love yourself and love just being alone do- ng the things you love. I love my family and a few friends but living alone gives me the space to just sit in silence, do the things I want to do when I want and eat when I want or clean when I want no matter what time of the day or night it is. I used to live with mates but I found that you had to do what they wanted or watch their favorite shows, share computers etc. For all the rest of you who are like me its okay cause we go to work and see people and go out at our own leisure to be with people. I like my pets also but again they have their own rituals also"
PAOLO musica.del-silenzio@libero.it	GROSSETO TOSCANA (ITALY)	" Oggi ho visto questo sito e ne sono rimasto molto incuriosito. Ho il grosso problema di non conoscere la lingua inglese ma spero che attraverso l'uso dei traduttori on-line, qualcuno sia stimolato a leggere i miei pensieri e, se lo gradisce, anche a rispondermi. Salute e felicità a tutti PAOLO
Mike michael_bird@ntlworld.com	Reading UK	" Moved around a few rented places in town with a girlfriend and with various mates over the years, and the two of us felt like staying in one home and buying it. I said it would be small and we'd have to pay it off slowly. I had my doubts... After the first few months she wasn't happy - it was something to get used to. It was fine for two people at the time... These days it's just me and I'm really looking for someone else to join me. It's a tall order to pay it all myself, but good investment. No real need to up and move. It's been 8 years now. Practical way to be, in a way. Life was a lot more fun before. London would be a great place to go. Most people I knew round here have cleared off now. Most are married. I just need to move on"
Robert	Chisinau Moldova	" Been living with my girlfriend for almost 3 years. There was a big age difference which was not acceptable here. So much pressure from her stupid village friends about living with an "old man" that she broke up and moved out. Best relationship of my life. I hate being alone.. but I don't have the energy to start over again.. I do know one thing though: "If you can't stand living alone with yourself, how can you ever expect to be able to live with someone else?" I have done it before.. but this time I give up, cannot put myself through the emotional stress of this happening again "
Ben	Canada	"I have been living alone since March 2007 when my wife died suddenly. I was 36 at the time. One of the hardest parts of living alone was not having someone to talk to, to come home to and to wake up with. Then there was the issue of grief."
Ulysses	Amman Jordan	" I'm an atheist so I can not live in a place with people who are watching me if I do pray like them or not. Because if I do not, then they are going to leave me or possibly attack you. Another reason is that I can put my touches on my own own place like the place of the sofa and the place of the TV. Also, living lonely gives me the opportunity to read quite place. Finally, living alone makes me feel that the place belong to me "
JULES	Phoenix USA	"I have been divorced for over 20 years. Both my boys are grown but my oldest still lives with me AND its time for him to move out cause mama wants the house to herself!!!!! Does this sound cruel? I raised them alone and now I want to live alone. I don't want to listen to them yell at me anymore, I want to dance around the house if I feel like it or not worry about if I have a robe on or just sit and enjoy the peace and quiet. Is that wrong??? Seriously? I am sooooo ready to live alone. Its time my kids grow up and deal with their lives without mom. You know, one day I'm not gonna be here and what will they do? Don't get me wrong I dearly love my children, grandchildren and daughter-in-law but I don't want to deal with their personal issues anymore. Been there, done that. Now its their turn. I want to travel and live life but I feel like I have to be here for them constantly. Gosh I love them but gosh I really need to cut the apron string.,"
Pete mazz1232002@yahoo.com	Kimball, Nebraska	" Don - Absolutely great post, really enjoyed reading, I am pretty much in the same position as yourself. Have to say I feel sorry for a lot of these posters here. - Pete"
Don flakjakit@hotmail.com	Vic Canada	" ah,, the voice of christmas past is near and another xmas alone... but hey.. ? whats the problem?.. this will make a total of 5 now.. not counting the ones before i moved out here.. that should bring the total up to more that you... i get somewhat perplexed at people/humanity.. but you have to cut some slack for those newbies that havent been alone yet.. its like going to the bathroom for a long period of time.. you KNOW there are people on the other side of the door... its just that you dont want them there with you right now. thats living alone. maybe 'not wanting' is a strong statement but.. sometimes i wish i was on the moon. this xmas went by like the 12th of May... unannounced and somewhat unnoticed... i sent gifts to my kids.. they returned the compliment... and the day went as normal. ive been posting here for what may be 3 or 4 years.. i very seldom see the same names twice.. i sometimes wonder what has happened to those lost souls that are out of answers. believe me, ive had my 'face-in-the-toilet days' and they arent much fun.. however the sooner you deal with them.. figure out what you WANT to do with the rest of your life.. they go away. laugh and the world laughs with you... cry and your as alone as the number 1. but isnt that what everything in life IS.. about you? if your no good to yourself.. your no good to/for anyone else. its not the end of the world as many people would have us believe .. its about forgiveness and learning that we are humans and we are fallible.. we are prone to make mistakes.. its the learning process that stops the mistakes...on the other hand if you DONT want to learn.. then you get whats next.. mistakes. and you will continue to make them till YOU MAKE IT STOP!@!. i cant.. they cant.. she cant .. we cant .. he cant... you can. the things that hurt, can stop hurting when you stop 'allowing' them to... you have been empowered with this solution to everything in your life.. you either let it happen or you dont. thats all.. its that simple.. and if you have indulged yourself with a tad of emotional entanglement.. then that has to stop too. take the emotions out of the equation and the decision is simple... yes or no. thats all..... you live alone.. or not.. you let it hurt or not.. thats all..like turning on a light. i live alone cause i want to..no.. i dont hate women.. matter of fact i kinda like em... ive been divorced for ugh.. so long i forgot.... no actually its been 30 years n' change.. ya.. ive come close to stepping up to the plate again.. butt.. it didnt happen.. ( read my other posts).. a friend of mine used the word 'compromise' in a reference to her marriage... her meaning of the word and that of the dictionary are two different ones... there are NO compromises in anything in life... why should there be? you give more that you get back?... thats a good theory.. and im sure its the christian way but you DONT give away something of greater value for something of lesser value... ever!... this is why im alone.. and so choose to be... i wont compromise me for anyone.. and there are alot of women who think ill of that attitude... good!@ so be it.. everyone's entitled to their opinion and i respect that... however .. thats why i live alone and you know.. its really not that bad.. using the word bad in context with the word good. you let go when your done with it.. not sooner.. however..the longer you hold on.. the farther that light seems to be. people come into you life for a reason.. a season..a life time.. the sooner we can appreciate that and understand that there are times when the 'leaver' doesn't have a reason for leaving... or just doesnt know why.. the easier it is to let go. shake your head.. turn around and get on with your life... be glad they didnt stay longer and REALLY throw a screw into the clockwork.. aloneness isnt wrong... its a place you are.. a situation that you can/will change when the motivator comes along... want or need.. dont be in a rush... everything in life is on a time line.. it happens when it does. you cant hurry Christmas!@ and you cant hurry this................ be good be safe be happy..............DOn,
William wdwolf@gmail.com	Toronto Canada	"I just spent my first year living, and being alone. I have one friend who lives out of town and am not in contact with my family. I know you asked for positive comments so I will keep them at least neutral. I've never been a social creature but I also have never been truly alone. Unfortunately none of those relationships worked and I honestly think that I was meant to be alone. I also have come to realize I am asexual which is a whole other can of worms. The first six months of living alone was brutal but I survived. A friend, my only, helped me get through it and come to accept that living alone is okay. I am starting to accept that and am approaching life now with the knowledge that I will be living alone. Sometimes I am comforted by this thought, sometimes I rail against it and despair. Bottom line though I think this is the right path for me. I don't know, maybe someone will come and sweep me off my feet and live the rest of my life with me but I am no longer driven by outside pressure to find someone. I ignore all the negative comments and looks I get when I say I choose to live alone and single. Despite the occasional bouts of despair and loneliness I feel it's the right course for me and am, for the most part, comfortable with it. Some days are just harder than others. I look to Mr. Bean for inspiration."
Sandra	Surrey, BC Canada	" Hi, I`m an attractive 32 year old woman living alone; at least for now. I`ve been living alone for 7 years now. Before that I always lived with someone. The first 2-3 years of living with yourself only were brutal, but now at least, I am comfortable with the idea. I love it and hate it at the same time. I can be a slob when I want to;-), but I miss the routine companionship of chatting with, waking up with, and snuggling with someone every day. As a woman my age with no kids, I sometimes wonder if I should just hop on the ``building a family bandwagon, to escape loneliness and feel more alive. For now, it is what it is "
monika dunns	London England	" Because am single and living alone for most of my life, so I guess am started getting bored now so I just come across this site and find some of the comments quite too familar to mine. Am 38 almost 39 and I've never felt love or wanted by both parent and men that i've been with. I've never beein in a loving relationship because I don't think or ever believe that there's someone out there for me, to love me for me. I do love myself and I have a lot of love to give but the way I see soceity defines love, I would rather to live alone than to be unhappy. Over the years of living with a man for 5 years I always feel this emptiness inside, I could not feel his love or affection and also things he said and do confirm my findings, so as a result of that I walked out of the relationship and thats over 9 years and am still on my own. After that relationship, I met this other man and to honest its the same feeling am having, and I am 100% sure that my mind is not playing with me, but if am not happy then it makes no sense. My family and I are not close and I dont have any children but it bothered me a lot just for the fact that am getting older. I've never been in love before, my encounter with a few men dont last more than a few months, may be am too independent, I've never been to a wedding before because it will affect me emotionally. Am not desperate for a man and I don't need one to define who I am but it would be nice to fall in love and been loved and care for, I do have a job, I have my own house and I drive a decent car but am not into this material possession. Its quite daunting to see when you are sick at nights no one is there for you, everything you do you have to rely on yourself and God. You have to call and answer at the same time. I love to cook and am very house proud so I guess thats what takes up most of my time, I hardly socialize, but don't have a problem socializing. I also love to travel. From the very day I can remember thinking about life I just get this sense of single minded and that am going to be single all my life, and as time goes on it just started to materialise that I was born to be single. Is only God can change it, but having said so there's no way am going to let myself been use by any man for their own gratification. Been single and loving it is a closure to some people but for me am just empty on the inside. I feel I have no form of stability. Am a spiritual person but am flesh too. Loneliness is a disease, why should one be on their own even at xmas and other holidays? Been alone is by choice because am not going to take up a man just for having a man sake, there got to be some reason and genuine ones. Nowadays everyone have some form of hidden agendas, so one got to be careful, they could be after what you have and don't love you for you, but I hope one day that God will look beyond my faults and saw my needs and fill my empty cup"
Kate nhkate@netzero.net	Weare USA	" With more of us living alone these days there is a concern I have. Since we do not have any specific daily contact it is possible that we could have an emergency where we are not able to get to the phone. How would anyone know? How long would it take your friends to figure out something may be wrong? When would help arrive? Do any of you know of a service, an email group or something, that has a list of members who would check in (put an "X" in a box or something) on a daily basis? This way other members could check on anyone who hadn't reported in. I email a friend daily but I would like to build a format for a group of people to be able to check in. Please email me any information you might have. Thanks, Kate (Am looking into this type of service - the editor Living Alone)
Barry talkabout222@yahoo.com	Indianapolis USA	" I just got up in the middle of the night and was wondering if there are any books on men being alone and living happily to the very end. When I look back I have been alone most of my life with very people in my life. I am the type of guy that never attracted lots of women--so I just stayed in school and got a PHD-and now wondering what went wrong with my life. I find that our culture mostly only values "looks" when picking a mate. That makes me sad, but I want to learn now to live the rest of my life happy--and not feel that I am wasting my time. From what I read on the web-it appears that living alone is also a journey--I wish I could accept that-- and not think that sharing my life is the only option for me. I want to live, truly I do, so it was in the larger plan that I always be alone--or at-least for the near future. "
Sharon sharon@i-is.com	Clay USA	" My husband of 5 years moved out September 30th, I actually fell out of love with him 2 and a half years ago and then I fell out of like with him period! Our marriage was built on a lot of misconceptions on his part but I'm adapting to being alone again. sometimes I wish I just had another person to be here to fill up the quiet spaces but I'm doing ok!"
nelly	London UK	" I love this site, and after reading the posts, i really don't know what to do- it seems that i will have to have another divorce, and im only 25- the very thought of it scares me to death. the first time it was just because we were too young and too proud, and now im a victim of domestic violence, im in the vicious circle of becoming violent myself, packing my stuff and leaving, only to be back in a few days. i usually stay with my family, but my heart softens, and then, there we go again.....so, i need to make a biiiiiig decision and realize that it is meant for me to be alone :( "
Mark Kollra mardarlala2012@yahoo.com	Tucson North America	" Living alone can get some getting used to. However, as time goes on, it gets easier and easier to cope with. Coping with it usually means doing the same thing over and over again. Doing things over and over again infers to such things as going to bed generally at the same time each night, capturing enticing positive thoughts as you drift off to sleep by thinking about what a productive day you've had. You don't have to have a productive day everyday. These positive thoughts stem from some productive days as setting small goals and accomplishing them as the day goes on with soft music in the back ground as you achieve yourself to a higher and higher virtue of moral settings in your personal life style. Personal life style by setting standards for yourself in a slow peaceful course in the plight of your life. The plight of your life for which your journey will be a peaceful one so that you don't get caught up in obstacles that are too hard to bare. Just g o around hard obstacles so that you are not defeated by them. It's nice to be nice to yourself and not to be caught up in a rut, or for that matter many ruts small and large. Just remember that good things do happen those of you who wait. First of all, you are who you are, so please don't try to change that. In the same way other people are who they are, and why would you want to change them. Secondly, please try to keep everything simple and gradually slowly search for opifanies that may enter into your life. This is a gradual learning thing. You were born innocent, so hold on to that innocence and again keep things peaceful in yours and my life. Silence is a sign of intelligence as we listen more then we talk. People will be attracted to you as you gradually live each day at a time listening more then talking. By this, you will automatically be getting wiser and wiser. However, let good things happen to you instead of you being impatiently trying to grasp the good things that you might be waiting for. It will come, and we must circum to the fact that time is not an impatient thing but a gradual thing that if you let it, it will eventually bring you to good well being. You don't have to know everything to be a reasonable person . . . you already are. And it's perfectly fine to ask people for help if you need it. You don't have to watch the bad news on TV, and you don't have to worry about dying anymore, because God loves you just the way you are. The greatest thing you need to know is that you will live in eternal peace no matter who you are. You don't have to go to church to have a peaceful relationship with God from time to time. Try not to worry so much because no matter what, it's all going to be ok in the end.
Cail	California USA	" It's been about a week since being by myself in my apartment and to my complete and utter surprise: I have not felt the fear that I'd imagined I would. In fact, I'm starting to like having the place to myself. I do still see friends at least twice a week, so I think that is why I don't really feel lonely. Also, I should have mentioned this before and I'm not sure if the site will allow me to post this, but there is a site called www.meetup.com that I joined about two years. It's a website that was created for people of similar interests to get together and do something. The "meetups" from that group has helped me tremendously and I've made some really great friends from it "
marilu	Maple Ontario	" Here I am again.....I do read the comments...not daily but at least once a week. yes I live alone and yes Susan the worst is to wake up alone....but it only lasts a little. Once I start to get ready for work the lonely feeling goes away. My real lonely time is Sunday morning...just have to make phone calls to my family members. I do go to dance Friday night and Sats. My kids keep me busy with their little ones...so work...babysitting and attend family dinners keeps me on the go. Life is not boring and life does require relaxing...so the word 'relax' comes to my mind when I am all by myself. Lots of people say I am lucky to live like this. Just take one day at a time and make the best of it"
Susan	Oakville Ontario	" I have been living alone for three years. I am sixty two. I feel as if this is the way my life will be now, and I have to get used to it. The worst part is waking up in the morning. There is no one to ask if I slept alright, no one to make me a cup of tea. Even if I am not feeling well, I have to see to myself and make the tea. I often think I could die in the night, and no one would even know.. My children both live quite close, they would be horrified if they knew how I feel, they think I cope with it very well because I don't talk about it. People I work with are all living as families, I know they feel sorry for me because I live by myself, and I hate that. I feel like a failure, especially since my ex husband has gone on to have lots of different relationships and even now is with a new woman again. I tend to isolate a lot, which isn't good, but I'm not good at socializing, its depressing to think that life is always going to be this way."
Pete mazz1232002@yahoo.com	Kimball, Nebraska USA	" Nice site but I have to say downright depressing to read. I hope each and everyone of you finds happiness and fulfillment. I know that may be a tall order. Yes I live alone too, have been for years but I have a business, some friends who call on a regular basis and I had two Great Danes but I had to put one down last August as she was very old and became ill. My best wishes to everyone. Pete in Nebraska "
Cail	California USA	"Today I'm moving into my apartment where I will be there by myself. I'm absolutely terrified, I got no sleep last night because I kept thinking about it and I'm on the verge of hyperventaling because I'm so scared. Is this normal? I'm literally shaking with fear and I can't concentrate. I've reached out to a few friends, but only one understands where I'm coming from. I feel totally paralyzed by my fear"
Mahnaz	Iran	"I REALLY LOVE TO LIVE ALONE but I live in a country that it is not acceptable for a single girl to live alone. I am Muslim and I am a college student. what can I do?"
Sara	USA	" I guess it all comes to acceptance of what is, and making the best of whatever is. I have been a single mom for about 10 years now. I have been in three somewhat long-term relationships (about a year each) since then. All three of those men broke up with me. I know the first one didn't want the responsibility of a child (my daughter was 8 at the time). The last two break ups I never really had any closure to. I think that they both just didn't want the relationship, the part where they would have to give some. Sometimes I feel like a complete loser because I can't seem to find someone who can show true care. I especially hate the affect it may have on my now 14 year old daughter. However, this is what I have been given and I want to be a good role model so I need to show her that happiness comes from within. I will recite the Serenity Prayer to myself and keep chugging"
Jon jkblooz@yahoo.com	El MIrage USA	" I just started living alone after 30 years of marriage. I've never lived alone in my entire life and I'm scared. I have a mental illness and depression is really troubling. I have little income, can't work because of my disability and feel empty inside. I have family (other than my wife) living close by, but I don't want to be a pain in the neck to them. I find it extremely difficult to socialize, so I stay in 80% of my time - alone. "
Cailin	California U.S	" I've been frequently checking this site and reading the comments for months now. I have never lived alone before; I went from living with my parents to living with a boyfriend (who is now my ex). I'm in my late 20's and in less than 2 weeks will be living alone for the first time. Part of me is excited about getting to do what I want when I want, but a HUGE part of me is scared! I will be going to an apartment on the second floor and the apartment complex will have a garage I could rent. I looked at an apartment ratings website and some reviewers of the complex say they feel safe, other reviewers say they don't. It's mainly my safety at night that concerns me. I am dating someone, and I imagine he will stay over maybe one night, or that I stay over at his place. It's the other nights that freak me out. Does anyone have some tips for feeling safe at night? I'd really appreciate it. Thanks!, "
Sherry Reid	Warren, OH USA	" I've been married 3 times, and I don't regret it. The marriages were learning experiences to me. Two of the husbands cheated on me, and the other one I decided to leave. I miss so much about the closeness of living together. Waking up alone, eating alone, sharing, caring and just having the one you love by your side. You go to bed alone each night. I was married for most of my life, and feel lost now. Hell, I'd even settle with just living together, but my boyfriend wants to live alone. I'm 46 and he's 50, but we can't seem to agree on this one issue. We talk openly about everything, which is great. But, that is an issue we don't agree upon. We've been together for about 2 years now. I guess I'm waiting and not giving up hope. I just can't understand how a person enjoys being alone every day. Being alone is very good for the soul, but not every day of your life. Its too short to spend what time we have here on earth. I still believe in happy endings. Yes, I have friends and social activities, but that doesn't take the place. I get to stay with my boyfriend maybe once or twice a week. I just want more.. he doesn't, so I settle. He's worth it... "
Lou loulaguna@yahoo.com	San Juan Puerto Rico	" Well, I have been living by myself for the last 10 years. I find living alone much better than living with someone for the wrong reasons. There are so many co-dependant relationship going on. So, I have learned to live alone. I still hope I will find my significant other, but until then I do the best in living by myself. Sadly, marriage is an archaic way of thinking. I mean, how can you promise in your 20's that you are going to live, love, respect the other person until death do us apart???????? This idea --although a fantastic romance one-- is not a real one. We all grow and what we used to believe in at our 20's is not the same as what we believe in our 50's. As we live and experience life we grow and we change our minds toward different subjects in life. In my point of view marriage has become a social position issue. Most men and woman want to get married to a good position. Love, understanding, fidelity, sharing and companionship are nowhere. It's all about money and egos. Some men and woman, both, are looking for an economic solution in their lifes when they get married. You can see this when you read about these men and woman having to pay these high alimony after their divorce. Then, a lot of men and woman are just looking for a good time and want younger people in their life. Again, no love, no companionship, no fidelity whatsoever. So, I have learned to live by myself. Sometimes I cry my eyes out, specially on Christmas, New Years's Eve, San Valentine's Day, etcetera. I have started to read a lot of self-help books and spiritual ones. I have learned about co-dependence and about learning how not to believe everything people tell you. Again, marriage is not the only way. I think that we would all want to meet that special someone and be happy for the rest of our lifes. In my personal case I can count the happy couples with the fingers of only one hand (and I don't use all of them!!!!!!). If people would learn to live by themselves and not be so co-dependent, there would be many, many, many more people living by themselves. Got go. "
lois walston loiswalston@roadrunner.com	Nicholasville USA	" I have been living alone for quite sometime. It is wonderful to live alone and it takes skills to live alone because you are basically on your own. You have to solely depend only on yourself and God. Sometimes when you are alone, you don't feel that it is necessary to cook a balanced meal, so you end up eating all the wrong things. At times it can be very boring especially at holiday time when everyone goes home to there families and you are all alone. When you have to attend formal affairs you are always unescorted. That is not a good feeling. Life is so beautiful and there are so many wonderful things to do and see. I am a beautiful African American woman who would love to have someone to share my life with. I am 59 years old and I am beautiful, intelligent and very self sufficient. I love to cook and my food is absolutely delicious. I would like to meet an African American man between the ages of 58 & 63 even though age is only a number, actually it really doesn't matter as long is he has Christ in his life, he is intelligent and very self sufficient. If he has Christ in his life than everything else falls into place. I know that God has that person already picked for me. Beauty is not that important to me as long as he has that inside Godly beauty. I am a teacher and during the summer, I love to travel the world. There is a whole great big world out there and I would love to share it with someone that is willing to share as well. "
Perception	Lens Mind	" What is a perfect life? It does not exist except in our minds. Is there any situation without 'disadvantages'. Everything comes with ups and downs. Why we always complain about the down side of life, when by the same token we have the chose to reflect on the good. Looking back on our lives, why we home in on what 'bad' and overlook the good. Life is not supposed to be perfect, married or single. Surely its possible to married with a big happy family and still be lonely. Am I wrong? I get lonely specially in crowds. Is it me? Did I miss anything. We need to change how we perceive life, that is what makes the difference. Its about nurturing a winning attitude - and learning from hard lessons. "
iam	soul universe	" Hi everyone. I too am alone, reading about your different personal experiences was quite touching. For me, I wouln't swap my freedom for anyone or anything. I like company but value my space and freedom as truly priceless. I have been to various spiritual (a few) schools, and read some books too (am sure some of you here are the same). There are a few things that I agree to without any shadow of doubt, the premise - happiness, peace and joy come by going within (not without). Irrespective of what each of us wants from life, the place to look for is 'within' not anywhere else. There is nothing out-there. You can guess that the reason I agree is because I have experienced it otherwise I wouldn't be saying it. If anyone decides to explore going within, be warned that its not easy by any means. Buddha found reached enlightenment after 18 years (I was told this, so don't quote me on this), Lord Jesus Christ reached his full Christhood, or let the world see it somewhere towards the last phase of his life. This is not to suggest that it takes this long for everyone. It can happen in a moment or can take even some life times. Its the journey that brings the 'unfoldment' not the destination, so don't count the years or sit around 'waiting' but just stay focused and forget the rest. The only way I believed any thing to do with 'spirituality' was to try it, without testing or without the experience words have no meaning or power. Same with our self-image. What makes it so real is our own belief - not what the world reflects or says. What we experience outwardly is something that was first born in our thoughts, and our faith/belief is what makes it manifest in the outer world. I tried creating this outer reality by thinking of things that I have never thought of before, and saw it manifest. Its spooky, but once I had the proof for myself alone without anyone's comments or input of any kind, it was hard to belief that I had created all the unhappy moments. Its not possible to see a clear cut connection with everything that is manifest, but a little proof is all that was needed to convince me and rather than question or complain about things that will never become clear or that no-one will ever be able to explain, its best to just let them go and move on to creating something new, beautiful and enriching. This in turn attracts all that you need to make progress spiritually, to keep you in alignment with your highest good. As we can only speak about our own experiences, I spoke about mine. I have little interest in things non-spiritual, and spiritual things literally excite me, my heart rate goes erratic at times. It really gives me the buzz, same as a F1 car would on the race track. Being spiritual does not equate to boring or sadness, or lazy, or slow, or dim, its a lot more exciting than what is visible through our human eyes. The racing track is the whole universe, not just some insignificant small tracks that are barely visible from the outer space. Now that's a lot of 'tracks' to cover, wouldn't you say. And you can go a lot faster in space than anywhere on earth. swoosh Embracing spirituality comes more naturally to some than others (skeptics). Being alone or loneliness is the perfect jumping board for taking a leap within, because you won't miss. Its for people like us (those who seek solitude) that embracing spirituality is easy. Each time we seek for something in another person or in the world outside, looking for satisfaction, joy, wanting to be loved (love of any kind), we experience pain. Because we are looking in the wrong place, its not out there, its inside. Look within. The answers are in the invisible, I found it by going within. Well this is my story, I wanted to share and reveal the path I took to find happiness, joy and peace at times. I hope you can find it too, what ever path you chose to be on. Love, light and blessings to all "
Ray G eg_breakup@yahoo.com	Austin, Tx USA	" I have been living alone and it is by choice. I have a mental disorder called OCD and it kicks-in whenever I am around people. It is kind of a strange disease. Oh dear God. What have you done to me?. It is not that I want to avoid people, but I cannot bear the pain I go through. Also, it is very obvious to other people that I am weird. They become judgmental etc. etc. I never stopped working even with this problem. Fortunately I am making some progress. I am doing really good in my job recently. Thank you god. I have decided to live alone till my last breath. I don't get bored though. I keep myself busy all the time doing something. As many people mentioned here, there are advantages and disadvantages to living alone. Disadvantages are missing fun with company of people, thoughts of dieing alone, thoughts of no one to take care when you are sick. There are many advantages."
Barbie	Tehachapi USA	" I have lived alone on and off most of my life , I raised my kids alone, and they have all grown up and left hone. I am alone my roommate has finally moved out today he use to be my boyfriend when I realized I wasn't in love with him we broke up and he moved into the spare room for the last nine months. I am happy to have him move , but also like having someone else around as in roommate. I am going to live alone for awhile now I need to get back into my space again I miss it , I miss me , myself and Barbie. I doubt I will ever meet anyone who can love me the way I need to be loved , I have never had this before. I wouldn't know the love of a man if it hit me in the face lol I do know what it feels like to be in love but never felt that in return. So lonely is being in love with someone who doesn't love you the way you need to be loved. Lonely isn't about being alone with the one person who you trust the most yourself. "
DOn flakjakit@hotmail.com	Victoria Canada	" ive been in here a few times and id just like to say in contrast to what some would consider me as a piece of dog dung... im sorry.. im not that.. i am a male/man/homo erectus/guy/fella/and the list goes on.. and ya ive been called ALL the names a woman can conjure up however... dog dung represents something that really isnt appreciated by me or the other decent men out there that do have feelings just like our female counterparts .. we eat breath and live much like women do and i wont have the goodness of some men slandered by someone who cant make the correct choices in her own men. 3 marriages and an assorted number of others.. sounds like 'fishing' to me.. or someone that doesn't know her own mind when it comes to a life long partnership.. ive been married once.. it became dysfunctional and it died a thousand deaths. i wont marry again just on the principle that why ruin a perfectly good relationship. marriage isnt what it was.. nor will it ever be.. its a good institution, if you want to live in one... committed or not... the respect has to be there for both parties or you just look like a dung slinger looking for revenge and someone to blame. anyone with the appropriate upbringing would know this. no im not dog ---- never have been never will be.. and i took what 'you' said personally ... being that i am a male... and you included me in the 'all men' statement.. go take a Valium and rethink your life.. you need to get some empathy for everyone not just yourself.. being there and doing that doesn't make you a survivor.. just a visitor. finding some forgiveness and empathy for both the female and males that make up this world we ALL live in would be a good step...oh.. and im still living alone... and it aint that bad. be good be safe be happy DOn"
Ms. Solo	USA	" I find a lot of comfort in living alone. I really enjoy my living space being exactly as I want it and exactly as I left when I walked out the door. I enjoy the silence so that I can think deep or not think at all and just watch a good show or movie. But, of course, the cons of living alone are ever present. Sometimes I miss eating a good home-cooked meal with an endeared one. I miss holding hands and walking downtown on a lovely summer evening or crisp autumn day. It will take a long time to find a companion who can help me overcome the memory of my departed spouse. I am too young for the senior center and too mature for clubbing. But I feel positive that the worst is behind me and I still hope to establish friendships. I finally found a counselor who is helping me to put one foot in front of the other and not be so afraid of the future and the big, bad world. Congratulations Tiffany. I am glad that you have attained what you needed. I appreciate your honesty about living alone being something to suffer. I used to feel that way. I only hope that while you are living with others, you still find your own identity as I must do. Intellectually I know that other people cannot make one "happy." Happiness is a general life choice. But it is sure is nice to have company, isn't it? "
patricia pactis11@hotmail.com	sao paulo brazil	" Tiffany, I guess people are different. my sister likes to have people around all the time, for instance. The answer is to live however you prefer!!! Love, patricia"
Tiffany armstrong911@msn.com	Glenwood USA	" I am pleased to announce that I am no longer living alone. I sure did hate that isolating experience. I still do not get how people like it "
patricia pactis11@hotmail.com	sao paulo brazil	" Hello, everyone. Thanks for your comments, Ed! I´ve just found 02 sites I´d like to recommend when you are just browsing through the internet: www.helium.com and www.changingpeople.co.uk. Lots of free articles on lifestyle, family, relationships issues and tips. Love to all, patricia,"
Ed	Calgary Alberta Canada	" Hi Patricia, I think it's about the same, difficult for women sometimes, and difficult for men sometimes, personally I am trying to win this struggle with being alone, refusing to give in that I can't have a successful life, it's more of a challenge for me now than ever before and at times I find that I am winning, in a good way......even when you ask if it's " generally more difficult " I think age, how long you have lived alone, probably a lot of different circumstances would warrant an answer, but I feel this subject is gender neutral"
patricia pactis11@hotmail.com	sao paulo brazil	" Ed, you´re right, I like walking alone a lot and doing lunch alone on Sundays, especially on bright sunny days!!! One question: do you think living alone is generally harder for men or women? "
Ed	Calgary Alberta Canada	" After 2 marriages and my second go round being alone I have found something that really works, and that is doing things alone that don't require company, that don't make me feel odd about being alone, it gives me a sense of self-worth, new discoveries and fun, look for them and you will find them, it will help the inner you........"
patricia pactis11@hotmail.com	sao paulo brazil	"I´m on your team!!! You have to love your own company to enjoy your moments alone as well as with friends, family, lovers... "
Vickie	Blue Ridge, Tx USA	" I would like to add something else to what I have already posted. I hear men and women as well, saying things like, "if I could only be married I'd be happy" or "if I just had a man or woman (whatever the case maybe) I'd be happy". These people are relying on someone else to make them happy. If they HAD a partner--what they don't realize is they'd still be unhappy. You can't ever rely on ANYONE or ANYTHING to make you happy. The only person or thing you can rely on is yourself and GOD. That's it. You can't rely on MEN or WOMEN to be there, to help you, to make you happy, to be faithful or truthful. You can ONLY rely on yourself. And until you try it you'll never know what you're made of, and how strong you really are or can be. There's an old saying, "what doesn't kill us; makes us stronger". I never knew how true that statement really was until I've gone thru everything I've been thru. I have been reading some of the comments that have been posted on this site. Some are very insightful, helpful, funny, and brave. I applaud you. I know. I've been there. But then, there are those who are very depressed, some even sound suicidal. I don't get it. Don't get me wrong I'm not here to judge anyone, nor put anyone down. And I have not walked in their shoes either. What I don't understand is how can one let another person CONTROL everything they do to the point of one can not live without another. I just don't get it. If your NOT happy with yourself how can you be happy with someone else? You have to be happy with who you are before you can be happy with anyone else, or anyone be happy with you. The way I look at it is this, if I where to let someone CONTROL my thoughts, feelings, life, etc. then they have WON. And I'll be dead in my grave before I EVER let that happen. I'm a very independent person, in case no one has noticed. LOL. And in a way I guess that's good, but then again I may be TO independent. If there is even such a thing. I hope I haven't upset anyone. Not my intention at all. Me just expressing my thoughts. Just me being me. Vickie
patricia pactis11@hotmail.com	sao paulo brazil	" ias, I loved your comments, really, thank you. I see your point perfectly. I´m beginning to rebuild my life as a free being after seven years with a man who had the most ill mannered son I´ve ever met in my life. I´m glad I could teach him a thing or two about manners and respect for other people. But at 44 I´m pretty sure my choice is to fly solo till the end. Lots of love, Patricia "
Vickie	Blue Ridge, Tx USA	" Hello. My name is Vickie. I am a 47 year old single female. I live in a small rural community alone and love it. I got married the first time when I was 19. I have been married and divorced three times. No children. I will NEVER live with, nor marry, another man. Thanks to my three ex-husbands and assorted boyfriends; I no longer trust men. In my eyes, when it comes to relationships, all men are worthless pieces of dog dung. All trust is gone. Since my last divorce, I have lived the last 9 years alone. Living alone has MANY advantages. You can sleep as late as you want, when you want. Go wherever you please, whenever you please. You don't have to worry about calling home to tell someone where you are and when you'll be home. My animals could care less where I went, or what time I come home. You can run around naked all day. Eat when you want, what you want. You can keep the temperature in the house as cold, or as warm as you want it. If you don't feel like cleaning house for a few days. Don't. If you don't feel like doing the laundry. Don't. Who cares. I have enough clothes to last me at least 3 or 4 months and never wear the same thing twice. (Just one of the advantages of being older and having a lot of clothes). You can stay up as long as you want without hearing, "are you coming to bed?" or "I can't sleep without you. Come to bed." And one of the BEST things about living alone is being QUEEN of the T.V. remote. You can watch whatever you want on T.V. without hearing "oh god, another love story" or "do we HAVE to watch LMN, or some other women's channel". And NO SPORTS. It's wonderful. I don't even allow sports on my t.v's. I had enough of that when I was married and lived at home with my brother and step-father. You never have to worry about going to the toilet and literally FALLING IN, cause the seat is ALWAYS down. There's never a mess to clean up. And you get the entire bed to yourself. The list goes on and on. But you get the jest of it. Now saying all that, there's a few disadvantages to living alone as well. No one there to work on your car, or when something in the house breaks. Nobody to help you move something or hang a picture, mow the yard, plumbing, help with the bills, etc. You now have to pay someone to do all these things for you. And if you live on a budget as so many of us do today, myself included, trying to find a friend or a relative that has the time to do all this stuff for you is very hard to find. And I don't care what people say about sex. When you're single you don't get "IT" all the time. That's so NOT true, unless you happen to have a significant other, or you're just a slut puppy. But for me, the pro's of living alone out weigh the cons of living with someone. But what's good for me may not be good for someone else. Living alone is a lot different than being lonely. You can live alone and have plenty of friends, family, work, etc. and not be lonely. If one chooses to sit around and dwell about how alone they are and how nobody loves them. Then you will be lonely. Life is truly what you make it. And mine is heaven. Have fun. Vickie
ias	Winnipeg Canada	" Life was always hard for me until I started to live alone two years ago. At home I had to help Dad take care of four younger siblings since I was 14. Finally I left home at age 26 to live with a partner. This did not work out. Two years later I married another partner and we had two beautiful daughters. He then left me for someone half my age. He left me with two daughters aged three and six months. From then on I had to do everything for the three of us - work, pay bills, shop, cook, clean, laundry, yard work, drive to/from daycares, absolutely everything. I tried a couple of relationships during that time, one boyfriend for a year and another boyfriend for five years but in both cases we seemed to drift apart because I had too many responsibilities with my daughters. The girls gave me a rough time when they were in their teens. At last I had to send them to their father for three years. I moved in with first a sister then a brother for those three years. When the girls' father's home fell apart, I brought the two girls back home. I bought a house and finished raising them. In their early 20's they still had not decided what to do with their lives and would not leave home. They would party with their friends and make a mess of my home while I was away at work or on weekends. They would not help at all around the house. I was still doing everything. Then I had a heart attack and had to have triple-bypass surgery. After that I sold my house from under us and went to live with my brother again, for a year, because I was too ill to look after it. Then I got my own apartment. The girls came and stayed with me at this apartment the last six months I was there. I told them I am going to move to senior housing now and they cannot live with me anymore. I told them I had sold our home because I wanted to see them on their own and independent before I die. In July 2006, I moved into senior housing and the girls got their own shared apartment. Since that triple-bypass five years ago, I have been in and out of the hospital, getting six stents and eight blood transfusions altogether, the last four being just last January. So now I live alone, with minimal responsibilities, for the first time in my life. It was scary at first, but we have double security here and our doors open into a secured hall, like a hospital. Yay! I am so happy about my new-found freedom. Finally, after all these years, hardly any responsibility! If I was told back when I was young that it was okay to not get married and have children, how happy my life would have been. I do not regret the experiences of being married and having children and now grandchildren, but if that never happened, I would not know or miss it. I love to be alone. I have built 48 photo albums of my boxes of jumbled pictures and negatives, putting them all in order by subject, date, and frame, and labelled every picture at the back in my own handwriting and on the front the labels are typed, to leave for my girls - names of the people in the pictures, the occasion, the location, the dates, and the frame number to match with the negatives. That took two winters to do. Last winter I started on our family history and genealogy, meaning I am on-line, printing, filing, at the library and at archives reading, taking notes, and copying, and now I have 12 binders of family births, marriages, deaths records and other documents. I have traced all my grandparents' family trees to the time they came to Canada. I helped my home community plan and clean up the cemetery back home, mark the graves, take down the old Church, and put up a memorial where it once stood. I got to read many books I always wanted to read including the New Testament. I watched all the movies I ever wanted to, and collected over 400 VHS movies and over 400 DVD's. I have a lending library of movies. I record which movies family and friends have borrowed, when, title, and date returned. I have travelled a lot in the last couple of years and taken many pictures with my digital camera. Next I wish to go back to painting in oils and watercolours. I want to file electronically the hundreds of digital pictures I have taken since 2006. What I am saying is there is no end to what a person can do with time. Some people golf, others read. I try to do stuff that will matter after I am gone. I am still working for my daughters (and grandchildren)I suppose, in a way. Yes, I get lonely from time to time, but I think and talk myself out of it. I say "Self, be happy your brothers' and sisters' lives are too busy for you. Be happy for your children that they have no time for you. That is the normal healthy way of things." As for partners, it took me all of my 30's, 40's and part of my 50's to get used to living without a man, to replace the loving and intimacy with other things like shopping, the casino, and busy-ness. All along and still today I have men checking me out, trying to get cozy, but it has been too long, over 10 years, since I had a boyfriend. I sit and think, "How would it be?" I know myself a little by now. I would be nice for a few days then I would get grouchy and wish I did not have to accommodate another person. I would be angry that there is someone in my life I would have to look after and pay attention to, again. Then I would be rude to him which he would not deserve. So because I wish the men a good life and hope that they find a loving person, I stay away from them. I just KNOW I would not be loving. I could not trust a man again. Wifely trust died, was killed by hurt and sorrow, when my husband left me 25 years ago. It will never come back in my lifetime, there is not enough time for that, given my Class V angina and heart disease. Good luck to everyone. Have a great life."
patricia pactis11@hotmail.com	sao paulo brazil	" Just read an article on spinach´s amazing nutrients, so I´m rushing to the market to get some for tonight. Meal for one but i am excited to look up some recipe on the net and come out with something really nice!!!, "
Bridget	Philippines	" living alone offers great rewards, but it also tags loneliness with it. everyone who has been living alone can surely understand me when i say... you learn to experience and realize a deeper understanding of silence, stillness, awareness and sense of self. and yet... the best realization i guess will have to be that, " life is all about relationships" . we can have all the privacy we want.. but at the end of the day, we seek for love and belongingness... i just wish us all the courage, patience and positively as we await and strive to realize all the blessings given to us each day... these simple blessings should be enough to take us through another day :) "
patricia pactis11@hotmail.com	sao paulo braszil	" Hello, I have lived alone most of my adult life. I am now 44 and just out of a 7 year relationship without a closure. On May 31 2008 he said a few ugly curse words (absolutely not his style) and left. Doing ok now. First 4 weekends were really depressing then I managed to spend a week in Buenos Aires, Argentina and that was lovely. I´m kind of getting used to my single routine now. All your comments have helped me a lot during my healing process. Love, Patricia "
James	Staffordshire England, United Kingdom.	" I've lived alone for 14 years, in a small village in Staffordshire, and I've got to admit I do love it - most of the time. I think it developed from when I was a kid. I lived about 30 miles away in deepest Shropshire where my grandfather owned a caravan site business. The 3 houses that existed there were all in the family who worked for the business. I always felt secure and this feeling of immense space in which to roam. Not growing up in a conventional road with neighbours and other kid's to play with I developed a strong independent streak and had difficulties adjusting to the crowds at school. I'm still like that now, loathe crowds, noise and the general social hullabaloo. But I still need to see people on a regular basis (work's a good laugh, and there's only 3 of us there) otherwise I can get a little stir-crazy. It is much harder being on your own, emotionally and financially I think, although often I see the fallout people have to endure from their co-habiting relationships: Divorce, violence, mental cruelty, incompatibility, general boredom and fear of being alone - that I count my blessings. Another important point about being alone is the financial side. Not sharing bills, rent, mortgage, holiday's etcetera - this I find a real strain sometimes. It also gives me a strong antenna for noticing how many people are dependent on others for financial as well as emotional support. I think until you've lived on your own you are not a real person who can understand and appreciate what being an individual means. I wonder if anybody else out there has suffered jealousy and resentment from co-habitees who resent the 'individual' his/her strength and freedom. It's strange, but some couples don't seem to have a problem with the livealoner, and some are irked by it - I wonder who of these 2 are the happiest in their relationship? Some folk's are very family orientated and suspicious of livealoner's, who maybe they feel threaten the family edifice and therefore the status quo? You need a thick skin and strong self belief to deflect these slings and arrows, but overall ,freedom comes first. The hardest thing is holidays, no one to really go with, as I have little family and a couple of on off friends who are married anyway - also everything's so expensive, with single supplements and everything - anybody got any tips for a single male in his early forties who hates beach holidays and crowds and likes Jack Kerouac, Henry Miller, abstract expressionism and playing blues guitar. Remember: THAT THAT DOES NOT KILL ME MAKES ME STRONGER!
Anna	Ontario Canada	" I am a 33 year old woman and I have been living alone for a few years now after splitting up with my common law husband. At first I was scared. One thing that helped a lot was moving closer to my family, who have been a great support to me. I also moved back to the city I grew up in, so being in familiar surroundings helped me to feel safer. While I like most aspects of living alone, there are some drawbacks: - Nobody to help me bring in groceries or lift heavy items, help with chores - It costs more for food, rent etc. - Eating alone, I love to cook for others - Love and affection from and for a partner (hugs especially) Despite the above drawbacks, however, I have found that I really enjoy living alone 90% of the time. Here is why: - I get to make all the decisions on every aspect of my life. No need to comprimise due to another person. - Doing things myself has made me a more confident person, especially when it comes to basic car maintenance and fixing small things around the house. - Not having to clean up another person's mess - Having the freedom to spend my spare time in any way I choose without having to consult other - Not having to deal with the bad habits of others (my ex used to horde items until the house was full of junk) - Has helped me get to know myself better as an individual. Also, I have nobody to blame but myself if something is not done, so less arguing. - Has drawn me closer to my family, who love and support me There are a number of things I have found very helpful while living alone: - Having another living thing to look after or care for. I have a great little dog who is always happy to see me when I get home. She also gives me affection and gets me outside several times a day. This helps to re-focus my energy outside of myself. Other ideas: Babysitting, pet sitting, gardening, houseplants, volunteering. - Cooking ahead: I cook a large amount and freeze the rest in portions for quick meals. - Do something social on a regular basis: friends, family, clubs, sports, volunteering, writing letters. This keeps you from feeling isolated. - Keep a calendar on your wall and write in upcoming events such as birthdays, festivals, holidays, appointments, parties. - Use your library to get free books and movies - Write kind little notes to yourself and place them around the house. For example: Keep up the good work! or You can do it! Place these where you can see them. I use a dry erase marker on my mirror and it works well. I have found that the most challenging thing about living alone has been keeping my apartment clean! However, knowing that it is my own mess takes some of the sting out of this task. I tend to just let things go until I can't stand it anymore and then do a massive cleaning. I wish i could just do a bit at a time but it is so hard! Anyhow, I hope that this is helpful to other people living alone. Take care everyone! "
Xena	Montreal Canada	" I condition myself to be alone. It is better because I am outdated by today's standards. When you are ugly and people avoid you, You have to adapt or die "
Leila	England	" I began living alone during 2003 when my husband of 44 years died. At first I found it desperately difficult but now, 5 years on I don't whether I would want to change things. Of course there are a few problems for a woman on her own. If I am ill there is no one here to look after me, do my shopping et al. Also, jobs arise about the home which are impossible for me to cope with. Family are good, but always seem to be busy. I do feel very alone sometimes and friends who were around before I lost my husband, seem largely to have drifted away for I rarely see them. My social life has vanished for no one seems to want to ask a single lady to functions with couples. Actually I find this difficult myself as everyone seems to be in pairs and I have suffered painfully in these situations to the point of feeling so isolated that I have become tearful and have had to depart to the bathroom to avoid embarrassment for both myself and friends. Fortunately I do have a couple of close, loving and faithful friends who make all the difference. They visit, and ask me over on a regular basis, they phone and text me daily which is all really lovely and very comforting. These friends got me a little cat 2 years ago and although nervous at first as I hadn't ever owned a cat, I love her to bits now and she is the sweetest and most loving of companions. I would be lost without her. I would recommend a cat for a pet to anybody living alone and feeling lonely. They are easier to look after and don't need the walks a dog would have to have. This is important for someone like me, for I'm older now and have M.E. which limits me physically quite severely at times. I have hobbies that lend themselves to being at home a lot as I read many different types of books, write, and in particular write poetry, love to listen to music of all kinds and spend many hours with my computer. There are friends who keep telling me how concerned they are that I don't go out much beyond shopping etc. However for most of the time I think I like it that way, and find pressure to socialise quite daunting. I haven't been a loner all my life and in earlier years I was a schoolteacher which would not be the best job for anyone suffering from shyness. I feel that losing my husband and the massive adjustments I had to face have contributed to how I am now and admit that I do get emotionally distressed and confused at times, not knowing what I really want. I miss others, yet feel reluctant to accept invites to go places, and struggle with accepting them. One area of my life I have great problems with is the knowing that nobody in the world looks at me and loves me above all others as my husband did and I with him. There is an enormous gap in my life without his love. Don't let anybody tell you that when you get past your 60s you don't need physical and emotional love anymore because I do and miss it dreadfully. I can wear my masks in the company of others and "smile" but back in my home the tears often come and I long just to be hugged, to have some tenderness. That is definitely a big miss in my life. That's why Bren my little cat is so precious to me. She may not be a human being but she does give me a lot of love. It's lovely to unlock the door and come back into my house to her little meeows of welcome, her rubbing and her kisses. I'm sure there are many other issues that I can't think of right now, but to sum up I guess my feelings are mixed as to whether I prefer this life alone or would rather be with someone."
Twila	London England	" I happened upon this site to see stats of people living alone and have enjoyed reading through everyone's insights. To those not happy with living or being alone, I can empathise; to those embracing singledom, I applaud you -I know there's hope because I am just getting to that place again where I feel genuinely good about my own company. My story (in brief) is that I ended a 2 year toxic relationship about a half year ago after being single for many -mostly happy- years. I moved to the UK in part to further my relationship and put all my cards on the table before I left the US to my now ex, including finances, wants, asking about his, etc. Despite having moved over 3,000 miles, I seemingly still could not do enough to accommodate him, and after a year of no effort on his part to further the relationship, I just told him to piss off. - If someone cannot make up his/her mind about committing to you after two years together AND you are both (well!) over the age of 35, tell them to go jump! They are likely commitment-phobes and their problem of being terminally unavailable has nothing at all to do with you. - Anyway, although I was the one to end it, what followed was a huge sense of loss and isolation: I had left all my friends and family behind and I felt paralysed for months. Weekends would be dreaded as sometimes I would speak to no one at all. Since then I am still actively re-learning the positives of being alone and singledom. I started out by making a list of what I could do solo vs. what I was limited to doing when I was with him...the list was very much in my favour! There are the regulars, which you have listed, but then I have added others including travel, personal training sessions and e-courses, none of which I would have been able to embrace quite as much had I remained with him even in the best of times. The thing to bear in mind is that being alone and being with others both have their struggles. Every time I have travelled alone or booked a table for one, it took a lot of anxiety to make it happen and still does, but the reward of taking the step outweighs anything else. It took time to grieve and I took that time without apology, but then you just have to set yourself free and take the leap as there are others out there who are living and enjoying it - why not join them? What I find really inspirational are those who have had partners who have passed. In Italy, I met a group of older women on a tour. None of them had partners, but they made a holiday and did what they wanted. Bravo! In all, if you have lost someone special to you, regardless of reason, they say the best thing to do is to live well. If you're the one who was wronged in parting, it is the best revenge, and if you lost someone through no fault of your own, it is what they would have wanted for you anyway. Life isn't a dress rehearsal - get out there and live it!"
Otis Earl	El Paso USA	" I'm living with my folks right now but I'm planning to buy a trailer and start living alone soon. There are periods when I'm home alone and I feel great. I love the quiet and peaceful moments and I'm not lonely at all. I guess living with other people is too stressful for me. I can't wait to move out and enjoy my life the way I want to"
JD ruffedges63@yahoo.ca	BC Canada	"I love being alone. I love silence and solitude. Guess I can be a couch potato, but read alot. That is not to say that I do not go out. I do go out, but when I chose to. Getting together with a group of people absolutely drains me. If one is lucky enough to find others who are quiet, gentle and at peace, sharing can be great. I have people in my life and most are good about accepting me as I am. Accepting myself has been harder than others accepting my need to be alone. I have a roommate, but rarely see her. Even when we are together, she can give me the space I need to be "alone" should I chose to be. So I guess I have the best of both lives. Would I recommend my lifestyle to others? My thought on that is: you need to be sure that you really can be alone as well as live alone. Don't get me wrong, I was married to a wonderful man for 25 years. We shared everything and I mean everything, until he became ill. When he passed away and I discovered life by myself, I thought I would fall apart. To be honest, came very close to joining my husband. Now, 5 years later, I am comfortable with the solitary life style. As many of you have stated, I go out when I want to. I belong to a "group" (for want of a better term) and can go to meetings if I chose. I never thought about just going out for supper by myself and getting my fill of the noise and chaos as someone else on here suggested. I think I'll try that. Anyway, if there are more people out there who enjoy being alone as well as living alone, I'd love to hear from you. Thanks for just being here on this site. Makes a person feel that they aren't, "nuts," just like a different way of living...be safe everyone....JD "
betzblue betzblue@centurytel.net	Central, Rural Oregon US	" When I was young I hated being alone, and thought that living alone would be terrible. (Years of reading True Detective Magazines, scared the wits out of me, murder victims usually live all by themselves) So now, living alone in a very remote location makes me yearn for friends & family ( who are all scattered across the map) Thank goodness for email, Ebay & Amazon.com. Thank goodness for Direct TV, DVD's with Sam Elliott, Gerard Butler, NYPD BLUE, & John Larroquette & Billy Connolly. Thank goodness for 6 year old grandchildren who know how to write letters & draw wonderful pictures, Thank goodness for memories; Being alone, I don't have to listen to someone else snoring, belching or passing gas. I don't have to explain my actions, I don't have to fight over what TV shows to view, what to eat, how to spend my money, or be told that I need to exercise a bit as the winter months have made me a tad chunky, I don't have to deal with toilet seats being left up or wet spots on my side of the bed. So being alone, has it's ups & it's downs.... "
Stephanie	City: Clifton Country: Australia	"I love living alone now, for a time I felt disjointed and lonely, but after 2 years I started to really enjoy it. Now 5 years later I don't think I can go back to living with someone again. I have a male friend who has a real hard time understanding this, as these days I like to socialize on the weekend but during the week I just want to be left alone. I am not lonely, if I need company I can get it, even if it is just picking up the phone. I used to feel like something was missing if I did not share my life and home with someone but now I run from that idea. I really think I will live alone for the rest of my life."
Phylis phylisinmexico@gmailcom	San Miguel de Allende Mexico	" know there's no panacea for being without a partner, but there are things to do which make it less painful. My husband died 10 years ago and that loss (combined with the loss of youth, ouch!)is a challenge that's definitely not for sissies. I live in Mexico because I can live better here than in the U.S., I love the people and their warmth - and life seems a lot more touchable here. I give a lot of my time to the orphanage and it not only takes me out of my own skin, but it brings me tremendous happiness. Yes, I love children, but believe me after a day of being with them, getting their love and appreciation for every little thing . . .I'm sure that I receive far more in the exchange than they do. So its the giving that I'm talking about, that's the panacea that I've found works for me. Cliche I know, about helping other people, but it's totally true. I know what it's like to raise self- pity to an art form -- but giving of yourself cuts down on the precious energy all of that self-pity takes. Think about your talents from cooking to listening and gift them to some people who will appreciate them. It will fill your heart. Saludos a todo! to you all "
CLARE RINTYG@AOL.COM	UNITED KINGDOM	" I have been caring for my disabled mum for many years and she recently died. I am now living on my own and not liking it. I thought I would. I always liked having time to myself but everybody around me is part of a couple or a big family or has children. Even if I have a really busy day, when I come home I get this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach, knowing that there is nobody to talk to. Maybe I will get used to it in time but when I go out and see couples, I envy that they have somebody to look after and care for them. In addition, my 2 sisters also have partners but they are trying to get me evicted from my home of 30 years, because my mum owned the house and didn't write a will. I can't afford to buy them out and I have nowhere to go. If I had a partner at least I would have somebody to tell me it would all be ok. I have stopped eating because I just can't be bothered anymore. I honestly thought I would be able to embrace living alone but it isn't happening. People in couples, including my sisters, don't include me or invite me anywhere, because I am single!
Loretta	Visalia USA	" I was married twice, and the second marriage was over 22 years. At first I feared living alone after my last child got married. It's now been eight years since she moved out, and 14 years of freedom from marriage. I can say I've had times when I loved it, and times when I grieved over the loss of my whole family due to the divorce. But my children are glad that they don't see the abuse we had in our lives. I now believe my life is more at peace because of living alone. Now at 58 years old I'm downsizing my belongings. I can feely give things I no longer use to my children without first getting approval from a spouse. I can go to bed when I'm sick after I turn off the phone. I can cook, take a shower or listen to music any time I choose. If my life gets any better they will have to tie a rope around my ankle to bring me back down to earth. The proof that my divorce worked. my "X" remarried before the ink dried on our divorce papers, and his cheating wife, bad health, and lifestyle is on the edge of grief, suicidal thoughts, depression, and anxiety. He has told our children that he cannot believe that I would ever live my life alone, drive 1,500 miles to visit family, or purchase a home all by myself. I found myself more at peace than at any other time of my life. I've had lifelong nightmare of abuse in my life. Come to think about it, I wish I was alone the day after I was born that's how much I enjoy it. Thank You Lord!"
empathic_sensitive	Lavender Beach USA	" I found out about being empathic sensitive and know that I need to be alone most of the time to function. I found a really great self-help website that has so many wonderful pages of self-help and free recipes for someone like me. Here is the url to the self-help index: http://www.geocities.com/joydoctor2001/Links.html Here is the url to the free recipes index: http://www.geocities.com/joydoctor2001/AphrodisiacRecipes.html These sites are chocked full of things you can do alone and advice for coping as a person who needs to spend a lot of their time alone. I promise you will find lots of help here "
Katherine	UK	" Just dropping by again, reading more comments from those who live alone and how they are finding the experience. I am still living alone and enjoying it. Not even sure anymore that I want to live with anyone again. Do you think that being an introvert is something you are or become? I seem to need more and more time to myself to recharge my batteries. As much as I like to be around people and have fun I find that I seem to feel the need to be on my own an awful lot, for some peace and quiet and some much needed solitude. Do you ever feel this too??? I haven't been in a relationship now for a very long time either. Sometimes, I feel such pressure to be in a relationship (societal pressure, and also my mother!) but I seem to find it easier to define myself as a single person, and I guess I am also now too independant and stubborn to be in a relationship. But there are the odd times where I miss that emotional intimacy that only comes with the longevity of a relationship. Is it ok or normal to not want to be involved in a sexual relationship, and to make the decision to not actively pursue attaining one? Do other people feel these things too I wonder? "
Max	Pa USA	" It's been awhile since I stopped by, about a year or so. I'm still single and hitting the big 50 soon.T he lady that said she hates to go to weddings, because she hates to see people so in love etc..., btw , I'm male, I'm sure you know this as well as I do, that it's fleeting. This is true: I've been in in at least 10 weddings in my life as Best man, Witness, and of course ushered many and 5 of those were split up within the 1st year. I guess I was meant to be single, bcause, most of the time when my girlfriend & I split up, Down deep inside I was happy, because I really got tired of it! I do have a great job, and good friends, lots of hobbies. I can still date girls in their late 20's. I keep fit. I totally agree that external things or people ca'nt "keep", To end that , External people, things can make you happy for awhile, but it's all up to you when it comes right down to it.So many people stick with people, who are bad for them. I see them fight constantly. Get a friend instead!, "
Rita boobob2006@hotmail.com	Toronto Canada	" Thank God this option was open to me! I am separated, and while I have a child that I had to leave behind, (I am physically disabled), I thank God that I can live alone in peace. My TV is great should I require a blast of noise, and my computer my companion should I need to reach out! I love living alone, and need my solitude beyond anything else. I am about to launch into year three of alone time, and love it!!!!
PE	San Fernando Trinidad and Tobago	" Hi. I came across this website while surfing for information on coping with loneliness. I recently turned 40 and I have given up all hope of ever being married and happy. I have been in a relationship for five years. I had never been in a relationship before that and I was a virgin at 35 when i fell in love for the first time. The guy used me and treated me so badly. He constantly accused me of having other men and refused to seek treatment for his extreme jealousy. In spite of everything and desperately afraid of being alone I stuck with the nonsense until he dropped me saying that the relationship was going nowhere - this is when i stopped financially supporting him and giving him everything that he asked for. I am an attorney at law and i make a fantastic salary. I have a number of hobbies and because i am good with my hands some of my hobbies actually earn me extra income ( Christmas crafting and decorating and drapery fabrication and cake baking). I have always had a hard time getting along with other people. I am not into crowds or gossip or just hanging out with no purpose. I have always tried to better myself and to learn new things - I took ballroom dancing classes (i love the Tango), I am pursuing a Master's Degree in law, and I did drapery fabrication. I much prefer to hang out at home and entertain friends as i love to cook and bake. This all sounds fantastic and why am I still single? I really don't know. I have stopped going to weddings as i feel a physical pain when i see couples so happy. I prefer to just lock myself at home rather than go out and see couples enjoying being in love. No matter what anyone says once you get married your life changes and you no longer have time to hang out with old friends. All my friends are married and have children and they have all drifted away. Being lonely for me, in spite of my hobbies, great job, and financial benefits is like a gut wrenching form of punishment. I really loved my boyfriend and his taking advantage of me not only destroyed my self esteem but made the loneliness so much more severe. I am not looking for another relationship as i don't think that I can bear that happening again and I have to find a way to deal with this pain that I feel. My parents and my siblings are all still alive but I am not really that close to them. my boyfriend was the first person to whom I opened up completely - even more than my family and he threw me to the curb and stomped on my head. Under the circumstances i prefer to die alone inspite of the pain than ever having to go through that again."
Paulo	Lisboa Portugal	" Just found this site by nearly an accident for I was checking the web for some vegetarian dishes and found it very interesting for I am also one who lives alone... and LOVES IT a lot. I lived with someone for almost 5 years and we split a little more than 5 years ago. I am 30 now and, with only one exception, I didn't get interested emotionally in anyone else during these last 5 years. Throughout the times I passed from wanting to get back with my former other-half to wanting someone but not being ready to loving someone but it didn't work-out to enjoying being alone but happy if someone interesting came by and in my rules to where I am now: VERY HAPPY for being alone. I am self-employed and most of the time I work from home. Given the nature of my job I am reasonably free to go to bed and wake-up at the time I want to. And this became an habit I don't really want to change. I want to work all night long, wake up at 11am because I feel quite ok this way. If I want to go for a walk with my dog, I go, if I just want to stay surfing the internet or reading a book I stay, if I happen to want to have dinner with someone I can call some friends, even married ones, but, usually, I feel much better alone than with human company. As a rule, more than 3 hours with someone starts to bore me and I start wanting to come back. I don't want to share my life with anyone, at all. Recently I had someone deeply interested in me. Someone really handsome, who knows me for several years and it was then that I was certain that I am not in the mood for having anyone, at all, and that I enjoy being free to do whatever I want, when I want, the way I want more than anything else. Loneliness? Well, from time to time I feel it although each time less and less, to the point where sometimes even the chip chat at the coffee shop causes me boredom and me wanting to be alone again. Will I live alone the rest of my life? I don't know but most probably I will, yes. Do I feel sorry about that? No, not at all. Learning how to live alone and be happy, achieving emotional independence, being able to be happy on my own, understanding that happiness comes from inside us and can not be dependent on external causes was the greatest blessing that I learnt in life. Wish you all the best."
lonewolfette	los angeles USA	" Wow. I am actually really surprised to find out how many people live alone and feel lonely. And a lot of yall are from my neck of the woods! Cuz when I go out and about Los Angeles County I feel like the only person on earth who doesn't have a gazillion friends or a spouse. I love living alone. I had a rough childhood and no trust in men to begin with and then the only real relationship I had was a mess - we were both at fault and my heart was broken but I'm not even sure who broke it. It's been 14 years and I have not seriously wanted a romantic relationship since. I HAVE seriously considered entering a Convent but I don't worship Mary. Mostly I'm really happy with my life and I have no wish to cohabitate but I do wish I had a solid circle of girlfriends with whom to do things on weekends since I am a desk-monkey during the week. My friends are spotty, all over the country and I don't have a community around me. I find that I relate best to divorced women who are older than I (almost 39). So where are all of you cool lonely women? The only obvious loners I see are at the local Trader Joe's and most of them look like miserable selfish people who are alone for good reason. I don't want to become one of them. I am so blessed to live in a pretty amazing part of the world that is so beautiful and has so many interesting things going on - I'm just having trouble finding women who need friends! Everyone around me is married and I so do not relate to them. And men too, don't count yourselves out. I'm not interested in romance but I would love some guy friends - it's just that I end up attracting the pervy guys old enough to be my dad who want sex - so if that's what you're about, forget it. Otherwise I think it would be so great to talk openly and comfortably and hang out with people of either gender...then my life would be just about perfect"
Me	T-Bay Ontario Canada	" I"ve lived on my own for the past four years. Was married twice before. First husband liked the shape of the booze bottle more then he liked the shape of me. lol 2nd husband couldn't hold on to a job or money. Then I caught him with than other woman. bye bye birdie!! So now I'm alone with the two cats, that I didn't want in the first place but am glad now to have them has company. Was never blessed with children. My life is half over and have no family in the same country as myself. I work retail and so I don't have much money. I work and then come back to my lonely apartment. I'm a bit shy and find it hard to make new friends. What friends I have are married and/or living with someone. Single friends my age? I have a few male friends but that's just it. Friends. I want to find something more to do with the remaining bit of my life but where and how do I start. I want to be loved and love in return but How? I don't want to suffer an other heartache. Why is life so shitty? "
E.	Indianapolis USA	" I am not living alone yet, but will be within the next year, as my best friend and roommate of nearly 8 years has just told me that she is engaged and will be married soon. I'm happy for her, don't get me wrong. But throughout the entire time we lived together, we have been inseparable. I'm not much of an "alone time" person. I've had way too much of this alone time lately anyway, with her being busy with the fiancé. I'm going to miss her terribly. Having someone to shop with, watch TV with, chat with, or just be silent around for me is a true blessing. Having that companion who will be up for spontaneously ordering a pizza with you late at night on a Tuesday can't be beat. I don't think its the living alone that will be the hardest, just the living without her. It wouldn't be the same with just a roommate...that bond isn't there. We have been like a family, and made our house feel like home, but its not going to feel like that once she's gone. I have also never lived alone in my life - parents to college dorm, then to apartments with best friend and other roommates, then apartment with best friend, then we bought a house together a few years back. I'm going to be terribly lonely. Not that I probably won't be able to keep myself busy, but I think having to do the little things alone will really get to me. Cooking dinner, or cleaning, or grocery shopping, or renting a movie. In my opinion, there is nothing like the companionship that comes from living with someone you really care about and enjoy. Not just anyone, because as many of you have stated, living with someone you want to get away from would probably be worse. But someone who you truly enjoy spending your time with, coming home to after a long days work, and feel truly comfortable with is a great blessing in life. So good luck to you all, I hope I can survive this as well as all of you have, and I may be back in a few months when things start to get rough :)"
Doug doug@painted-with-light.com	Simi Valley California	" have lived alone since 1980 when I was divorced for most of the time. Well technically I did have 2 or 3 male roommates for short periods. I don't mind living alone at all and don't really get lonely either. At least not often nor depressingly so. When I was 28 I learned how to go within from a teacher named Maharaji that showed me peace and fulfillment was WITHIN ME, not outside of me. This has made all the difference in my life. If you want to know more about this visit his website http://maharaji.net and/or email me."
Tiffany armstrong911@msn.com	Omaha USA	" I get depressed living alone because people don't call me very often. What should i do about this? "
Don flakjakit@hotmail.com	Victoria BC Canada	"Christmas is here for another year and with it comes the feelings and emotions of whatever your situation may demand.. loneliness, aloneness, happy to be rid of themness, wishing that we had someone to share it withness, and so on.. on that note,, as the saying goes, "misery Loves company"... i will be alone again for the third year.. and i am seriously considering 'passing over' over Christmas next year cause the people that were in my life and made Christmas a time of 'celebration' are not with me anymore. sound a little extreme? not so to me.. theres no real reason to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas without having the chance to share it with Loved ones and family.. logic denotes that.. i wish you all a great Christmas and a better new year.. and in hopes that you DO find some sort of 'peace' .. some sort of way to deal with your situation. be safe, be happy, DOn
B elronds_pet01@excite.com	Dover USA	"It really sucks. Loneliness for me is probably a mixture of self-pity and that missing feeling of being with another--someone to hold you and share with... right now I feel so empty and there's a sharp pain in my chest. Every time I try to feel great about living alone, I reality crashed down on me and barrs it teeth. No: society did not teach me to feel this way. I'm a social person that realizes she has no choice but to live alone"
b	Canada	" About 6 months ago, my wife and I decided that her disease had progressed to the point where she could no longer safely live at home. She is now in a nursing home of her choice, about a 1/2 hour drive from home. I visit her about 2-4 times a week, depending on her schedule and mine (thankfully, the nursing home provides social activities to keep their residents busy). She is relatively young, compared to the average age of most of the residents, so it is really unfortunate that she has to be there. She realizes however, that this is the kind of care she requires, and is doing her best to cope. She has made a few friends there, and keeps herself occupied with card games and the various activities that are scheduled by the staff. This realization has helped reduce the guilt I feel from time to time. Without going into details, we tried just about everything to keep her home, including building a house equipped for her needs (at great cost), but eventually her needs surpassed the house's and my abilities to provide for her care. Caring for her for about 25 years as the disease progressed, I had to learn how to take care of myself, the house and property, and all the daily activities and responsibilities that most married couples share. I'm a reasonable cook and I can prepare food for one, although lately I find myself slipping in the 'healthy nutrition for me' department. I have decided to stay in the house we built, because I have developed a life-style around it - at least for now. There are times when I feel free. I'm free from the daily care responsibilities that most of my married life I had to do. I'm free to go out and not have to worry about getting home soon in case she needs something. I'm even free to take off on a vacation once in a while without worrying about how she is managing without me. There are times when the house is a comfortable prison. And to be honest, there are times when the visits to the nursing home are just an onerous responsibility that interferes with activities I'd rather be doing. All the neighbourhood social activities and gatherings are couple-oriented. I try to foster "guy" activities and contacts, but as I've never been hugely interested in hockey, football, or other sports, I'm not the kind of guy who is going to host a party geared to any kind of sporting event. Enough rambling. I'm interested in hearing from others who may be in similar circumstances, and how they manage to deal with living alone, but still married to someone who can't be at home. I remain faithful to my wife."
GF	USA	Eric, I have been living alone for a bit over a year now. I still haven't figured it out. My problem is that I like being a homebody. I am sure if I could find a friend that I fit with, it would be great to "get out there" and do stuff. '' Have you seen the movie "fight club?" Didn't those characters go to support groups for afflictions they didn't even have just to have some place to go? That is hilarious, but I am nearing that point. If you live in a bigger town, start checking out the "events" section and find something that grabs your interest tightly enough to make you bite the bullet and go it alone. Force Yourself. Do you have weekend swap meets or farmers' markets near you? Even if you are just observing others and spending time out of the home, the time away will make you appreciate your abode that much more. How about the library? Maybe a cute girl will ask for your assistance if you are looking confident and intelligent. Tomorrow I am going to go somewhere by myself. If I can do it, so can you. Think I will go to this huge shopping complex and just walk around. It is supposed to be sunny and I hope warmish.
Eric	Ottawa Canada	" I have been living alone now for 7 months. My ex and I decided that our relationship has come to an end after many attempts at counseling. She decided to move back to Quebec city with my son of 4 yrs old. I don't mind living alone, I miss my son lots, but i am lucky i get to have him 9 consecutive days / month, but it is very hard to get back into doing things especially after being in a relationship of close to 10 yrs. What i have troubles in living alone is not the fact of living alone its doing things alone. I don't have ideas on what to do alone or how to meet new people. I find going to the movies is boring and depressing. Cooking for 2 or more is more fun than cooking for 1. All of my friends are in a couple relationship with kids, so its not like i could just expect them to drop their duties and do things with me. So how do i meet new people, and does anybody have any suggestions on things to do. I once considered my self a Human-BEING now i am just a human-LIVING! ;-) Thanks"
Julia	USA	" I'm just out of college and decided to strike out on my own and get a job where I don't know a soul. I have friends at work, but they all live out of town and commute in. I have a serious boyfriend, but he lives a few hours away. All of my family is a least a hour away. I've definitely learned to be more independent, but I hate living alone. I hate calling my family and hearing what they're doing together, talking to my boyfriend daily, but not being able to see him during the week, and not having anyone to come home to and separate my work life from my home life. I still don't regret my decision to come here for this year, but I'm moving as soon as my contract is up."
Jan SECRETHILLS@zero.com	Coshocton USA	" I was forced to live alone as my husband left me after 20yrs because he needed a change. I absolutely do not like it. I do not need to have help around the house, I just miss sharing my life with another person. Thank you jan?"
Tiffany armstrong911@msn.com	Omaha United States	"I totally agree with Paul from Tecumseh (spelling is wrong i know), " The moment I stop living alone and staying with family my depression goes away. I know we have a choice to make our own happiness but I just constantly fade further and further away when I live alone. I usually start out with focusing on the positive side of living alone but the more I live alone my "positive" side diminishes. I am usually an up beat and happy person, but living alone turns me into someone I don't like and can't even begin to understand. There has to be some problems to living alone. There is a whole website dedicated to the details of it. I find it hard to believe that there is no one out there who feels the same way as I do"
Gaelle	Montreal Canada	" I just moved into a two room apartment 2 months ago. I am a full time student. I've always wants to live on my own-always had that independent spirit. I don't regret being on my own, but sometimes it is hard. I have a boyfriend and a few friends yet I still feel alone. This feeling has been growing inside of me and I believe that it is time for me to expand my social network and start making more friends. I'm anti-pets, so I really need to put myself out there. To get over my loneliness I will start reading, and try to meet new people. Good luck to all of you who are new to this as I am"
Brian traintyme590@msn.com	Canada	" I have lived alone for many years now, and continue to enjoy it. Just recently I have taken on a new position, going from teaching part time to full time, retired that part of my working life which has paid the bills and given me a comfortable home, and not missing that aspect. I have a few key friends, soul mate friends if you would. But supposedly that life mate they say we all have, has never appeared in my life. Am I sorry, do I regret it?.........No, you cannot miss something you never had. I have a good full life, and look forward to the future and what it may bring. Enjoy your single, alone life, it can be very full and enriching. Loneliness is just a state of mind, not a way of life!"
Tiffany armstrong911@msn.com	Omaha USA	" I don't like living alone one single bit. It is too depressing and isolating. I know there are people out there who like it but I completely don't understand that one bit. Good for them, but I am definitely in that boat. I am looking for pen pals. Thanks!, " " I agree with Sophie from Australia....living alone made me so depressed that I almost commited suicide....twice.....i know it is said that the loneliness is all in the head but how does one control that??? I did everything i could....i joined a gym and went everyday for six months....i volunteered at the local hospital....i called friends and family every chance i got.....i got a dog.....i had parties.....i tried to become good friends with my neighbors....i read.....i watched tv.....i cleaned....i listened to music.....living alone still turned me into a psychopath....others see an instant difference in me when I live with others.....can somebody please explain that????
Maria Louis	Woodbridge, Ontario Canada	"Thank you Don....I read the article over and over and it has opened my reasonings. Living alone is not a drastic situation, of course it has ups and downs and this article gives me more ups now. thank you again"
Don flakjakit@hotmail.com	Victoria BC Canada	" ive been here a number of times and as i have read the pain and upsurging of emotional entanglement, the losses, the gains in some cases.. it still behooves me to think that there are that many 'co-dependent' people that actually cant live without someone in their lives.. im sorry if ive offended anyone and i DO understand that the 'old' attitude towards having a partnership with a male or female is STILL an archaic one .. living with the one you Love and cherish for the rest of your life... i dont think thats going to do it in todays society.. and i know there are peoples eyebrows going up their foreheads as i speak,, however just hear me out .. please.. if you go back through what i have written here you will get a somewhat "light" background as to who i am and the trials and tribulations ive been through.. everyone has their story to tell.. good and bad.. i know that pain .. i know the loneliness.. i know that i hate being alone.. however.. alone ( and for the sake of repeating myself ) isn't a disease!.. society has taught us that its WRONG to be alone and if you are, then there's something 'wrong' with YOU!.. a truly archaic attitude.. and its the attitude that we, as whom society views us to be, must change! its NOT wrong.. its OK!.. life happens and we reap the benefits of having to have gone through it.. its a learning curve for some.. and hell for others.. been there, done that. sometimes more than i would admit too although in the 40 years ive been divorced, a person would look at my 'Love life' and wonder what ive been doing with my self!..;-) anyway.. i am a selective person as that there's no point in wasting my time and yours if there's no chance of us hitting it off . YES? i just want to say to those that are feeling like life has gut-kicked them and left them for dead!..not at all.. i honestly ( and PLEASE don't condemn me for this attitude ) don't think that most of us are supposed to be with the same person all our lives... explanation : as we grow ( key word). we may grow away from our partner..in many ways.. intellectually, emotionally, sexually, mentally, spiritually, and the list goes on.. we leave our partners for just these reasons.. to 'move on'.. to perhaps for a better world.. greener pastures.. better things.. and who knows, maybe a more satisfying life.. alone! id leave you with this... be separate.. be individual.. be all the things you wanted to be when you were WITH someone and couldn't!... be you.. and for God's sake.. learn to forgive!!.you and all the others that have come to be in your life and that aren't now.. its not a 'fault ' thing.. its life!!.. ACKNOWLEDGE ACCEPT ADAPT.. if you live those three things.. you'll find life is a much nicer place to be.. with OR without.. and now,, you have a power.. the power do decide over which you want.. to be .. or not to be...its all up to you.. be safe and be happy
Eric		" That was an excellent article Donald and an inspiration to all of us I'm sure. It has been two years for me now since the separation and I am, ashamed to say, still in a state of disbelief. I very much want to forget the past and move on but always the ghost of bygone days comes and pays a visit. I don't mind living on my own. It has it's pros and cons just like living with someone does.,"
Jack	St Louis	" Great site, great comments. I've been living alone, with my son, for about four years now. After a 2nd divorce I've committed to working on me and learning how to be self sufficient. It's been a struggle, in many way's I don't think I've healed from the 2nd time around though in many other way's I think my issues have nothing to do with that and more to do with life overall. The toughest thing for me is that I'm insanely affectionate and miss the touch of a woman (mentally and physically). I've had a few nice relationships with amazing women that failed for one reason or another. More than anything I think they failed because I'm still frightened of stepping into a commitment. Nevertheless, while I enjoy many aspects of the life, I find I'm more often lonely than not and tend to isolate myself with my thoughts far too much. I need to learn how to move on, move up and take direction in my life without relying on someone to be by my side. I've many interests and things I'm looking forward to however I find at times, a lot lately, rather than take advantage of the time I've wandered into the land of moping and loneliness, not doing anything but isolating and being depressed. I'm sure it will end soon, I'm ready for it to end, ready to move on and live. The searching for someone has got to end, I should learn how to be happy alone and not want someone right? Hell who knows..."
Vicki	Anchorage, Alaska USA	" No one telling me what to do is great. and I can do whatever I want. I have 3 grown children so have had many years of living with people. I love to write and am working on many projects. I still work 7-4 5 days a week, but look forward to retirement in just a few more years. My 81 year old mother lives downstairs in my duplex, so I do have contact with her daily, but really for the most part am alone in my home and I love it " " Just wanted to add that it was great reading all of the comments on living alone. I looked for a site about living alone just to re-confirm that it was ok. I was very pleased to read so many positive comments about living alone"
Catriona aarulzau@yahoo.com.au	Melbourne Australia	"I am 27 and for five years lived in various shared houses (although housesat alone for periods) when I was younger and housesat I simply could not cope with the loneliness I was majorly depressed when my parents went away for six weeks leaving me to look after the house. Now I am 27 I cope better when alone but do find it lonely partially because I have Asperger's Syndrome making it tough for me to make strong friendships. I have been living alone for four weeks now and am moving into a place on my own permanently later this month I have left my email address if anyone is interested in being penpals (do not write if you are interested in something sexual).,"
Donald	Atlanta USA	"Alone but not lonely...most of the time. I've been living alone now for five years. It was shock to learn that my wife of eleven years met someone else and fell in love. She moved out. When her new relationship did not work out, we agreed to give our marriage a second chance and she moved back it. It didn't work. I still loved her but my feelings changed in some subtle way that made our marriage feel empty. So, we got a divorce and I moved to Atlanta for a fresh start. Initially it was very hard for me by myself. I was isolated and lonely. It didn't help that I am a shy person so making new friends was not easy. I was simply amazed when I started to get used to living alone and doing things by myself. It took a while but I came to realize that I was OK with being alone. Alone doesn't necessarily mean being lonely. Sure, there are moments went I feel lonely, but those feelings pass. I try to stay focused on the world outside my home and forget about what ever petty problems I think I have. It helps that I like to read and have a keen interest in so many things. I remained close friends with my former wife. I am thankful I had a good marriage up until the very end and that we still talk and do things together. It doesn't seem like such a big loss. "
anonymous		" I'm 41, live alone, (except for my animals), and love it. I relish the fact that when I come home from work I don't have to deal with another person--another person, making a mess for me to clean up, more dishes, house cleaning, cooking, laundry, financial, emotional and physical burdens on me--from that one person who does NOT contribute their fair share. I will gladly pass on the usual euphoria of the first year or so of a new relationship to spare myself the break up part (that's me breaking up with them by the way) and the starting over/recovering. I've been completely single for well over seven years. The other half has NEVER brought in their fair share, I'm sick of being the cash cow, and in the end, I truly love being alone. Love is not all it's cracked up to be--that's why they make all those romantic comedies (ha) which I do actually enjoy--because it's just a fairy tale anyway. I feel sorry for those ones so dependant on another they can't even eat a meal without them. The less people you love the better--narrow down the list to save yourself the pain. Be selfish, be smart. Living alone has more advantages than living with someone does--believe me--I know. All the leftovers are mine!! : ) "
Leigh	Winston-Salem USA	" Have you ever heard of having a significant other but still feeling alone"?
Nancy annjcd19@aol.com	Niagara Falls USA	" This is for Bluesman-South of Nowhere.. I can relate to all that you wrote. If you would like a pen pal it's ok to email me...It helps to have a friend.."
Lynn	USA	" so it has been a year now since living on my own. empty nester-dom and widowhood hit at the same time. winter was the worst, so i am trying to figure out how to combat the harshness of the cold season and all of the emotional strain it brings on. guess i gotta join a gym. hopefully i will be able to meet a couple of friends there as well. i cannot lie--i feel the difference and full force of "alone" and "loneliness." i always thought that i was the sort of person who could pull herself out of ditches and believed that trying times only made one stronger. i don't know myself anymore and my beliefs have become fragments that i can't piece back together. each day it gets harder to have faith that things will improve. what goes up, must come down the old addage says. does anyone know of any scientific principles that speak of what is down spontaneously rising up? this site was designed to inspire and i really do wish there were some way i could inspire myself and others. i will leave you with this quote: When so many are lonely, it would be selfish to be lonely alone. - Tennessee Williams"
redryder9@msn.com	MICHIGAN USA	" WELL, HERE I AM E-MAILING AGAIN AFTER FIVE MONTHS OF WIDOWHOOD. I AM ADJUSTING. IF ONLY SLIGHTLY, TO BEING WITHOUT SOMEONE TO SHARE MY BED, MY THOUGHTS AND MY LIFE. WHEN MY HUSBAND OF 30+ YEARS DIED SUDDENLY, I WAS DEVASTATED TO BE ALONE. I AM A WELL- EDUCATED, ARTICULATE PERSON WHO NOW FINDS MYSELF OFFENDED BY THE ONSLAUGHT OF PEOPLE (MOSTLY MEN) WHO THINK I AM DESPERATE FOR THEIR COMPANY. I GUESS I NEVER PAID ANY ATTENTION TO THOSE SURROUNDING US AT CHURCH AND SOCIAL EVENTS AND EVEN NEIGHBORS, UNTIL MY HUSBAND DIED. I HAVE FOUND MOST TO BE GOLDDIGGERS WITHOUT ANYTHING TO OFFER EXCEPT THEIR UNWANTED BAGGAGE. YES, I DO NOT WANT TO BE ALONE BUT THAT WILL BE THE CHOICE IF THAT IS ALL I ATTRACT. MY HUSBAND WAS 13 YEARS OLDER THAN I AND I AM NOT SURE IF I WANT AN OLDER MAN AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE. I JUST WANT SOMEONE THAT IS CAPABLE OF INTELLIGENT CONVERSATION, AFFECTION AND NOT A NIGHT BOYFRIEND (SOMEONE YOU CAN'T INTRODUCE TO FRIENDS) I WONDER IF THAT IS A REALITY IN MY FUTURE? TO ANSWER SOME OF THE OTHER COMMENTS...NO, I DON'T THINK WE ARE MEANT TO BE ALONE. I THINK ALL HUMANS CRAVE AND NEED HUMAN CONTACT, AFFECTION AND TOUCH TO HAVE REALLY LIVED WELL AND I WILL NEVER GIVE UP THE SEARCH FOR THIS TOTAL HAPPINESS."
Ronaldo ronnieblueseal@hotmail.com	Duarte, CA	*Living alone is the best of times and the worst of times, at times " Been doing it for the past 25 yrs*
Bluesman	south of nowhere	" For many years i lived with my parents . they were my best friends. i was in and out pursuing my personal interests and work. took a leave of absence from work to care for my father who had lung cancer. after his death i went back to work but had no interest in work. took early retirement from work but lost interest in favorite things. after a few months my mother became seriously ill. took care of her for 3 years .it was a terrible time. since she passed. i have been alone no friends or close relatives that i can confide in. i have tried to regain interest in past hobbies but a lack of money has limited most of them. now the days are lonely , but some reason nights are a bit better. i seriously doubt that i am compatible with anyone given the things that i really interested in. so i try make the best of a difficult situation. isolation, money problems, small town blues. some days are better than others. but living alone in a small town where you don`t share the interests of the majority can be very tough. especially so if you are a member of minority group and facing old age.,
Eric	Canada	" The statistics on how more people are living independently are encouraging and, for the most part, I do enjoy the serenity. I thought I had the perfect arrangement in that my gf was living in one of my other houses and we would have sleepovers two or three times a week. Unfortunately, The One came along and she was gone in a matter of days. I wish I could have given her more security (marriage) but I just like my alone time. Splendid Solitude by Jonathon Poole is an inspiring story. "
Nancy annjcd19@aol.com	Niagara Falls USA	" One of the greatest tools in learning how to live alone and doing it constructively is the book Living Alone and Loving It:. Written by actress Barbara Feldon. It's a rather small book, but each page is filled with joyful, and positive examples and ideas on how to live, not just survive living alone. It's an inspiration. You'll never view living alone in the same way again! It's a promise"
Diana rare_breeds@hotmail.com	Alberta Canada	" My husband leaving me was a problem yes. But an even bigger problem is my parents they are hovering, smotherers. Since we live always apart I have managed to keep the fact that my husband is gone from them. I don't know what to do. My husband hates my parents if they move in I will never see him again. Would like some feedback. Have included email"
lynn birdluvr67@hotmail.com	Renton USA	" ITS JUST THREE DAYS AWAY UNTIL I TURN FORTY, I HAVE BEEN LIVING ON MY OWN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE FOR ABOUT A YEAR NOW, AND I MUST SAY THAT BE Alone HAS ITS DRAW BACKS , I'M A SWEET ATTRACTIVE GIRL, USE TO BE A MODEL SO I GET PICKED UP BY MEN ALL THE TIME , YET IM ALWAYS ALONE. I DON'T HAVE MANY FRIENDS AND THE ONES THAT I DO HAVE I NEVER SEE. I DO EVERYTHING BY MY SELF FROM SHOPPING TO GOING TO A MOVIE AND IT SUCKS! WE WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE ALONE THAT IS WHY SO MANY OF US LIVE ON THIS PLANET, BEING WITH SOMEONE IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN BEING ALONE!, "
IVAYLO wwwivolife@gmail.com	Toronto Canada	" ITS BETTER THAN SHARE YOUR LIFE WITH A PERSON WHO IS USING . ANYWAY I BELIEVE EVERYTHING HAS A MEANING THAT ONE DAY WE ALL COME TO KNOW. I WISH EVERYBODY HERE AND OVER TO GET THEY RIGHT SOULMATE "
Dark Angel	Boston USA	" Being alone is hard but, being with someone that gets on your last nerve is even harder. Better yet, they have to be the center of attention all the time. Too many people today are selfish. Those how are lonely on not wrong, they just don't mind sharing there live's with another soul. I think everyone here is a giver & that makes all us extremely special.. The difference between Gods children or not."
Diana rare_breeds@hotmail.com	Canada	" I have been living alone for 4 months. My husband of 29 yrs has an addictive personality. He decided that his job was more important than me & moved out. I have run my farm for 17yrs have never had an outside job. I hate being alone especially at night. I am deaf. At my age I don't see many prospects for the future. Not much hope of reconciliation unless he goes for help "
Rob rkarten@peschmitt.com	N.J. USA	" Well, sitting at the computer, I searched; "Living alone" just to see what would surface. I have been divorced and living alone for three years. I have a beautiful 4 1/2-year old son that I spend most of my weekends with...and he is everything to me! I'm a fairly introverted musician/artist and have always felt more comfortable and at ease when by myself. Even as a young child, I was very content on being by myself - as most of the time now. I've always had friends, only a select few, and most of the time (in the past) in a relationship. I do concur with many of the people on this site regarding the benefits of the total freedom that oneness can bring - both emotionally and spiritually. It's almost a Buddhist-type of peacefulness that surrounds me due to, what I believe in part, is a sort-of detachment to other peoples' issues and drama. Don't get me wrong, I actually like people and I am very pleasant, friendly and compassionate. I just find it hard to relate to many. I used to perform live, as a musician, for many years in front of many people, but then would scurry off stage to solitude :) In large social gatherings, I would just look at my watch waiting to be by myself again. Even though I was not drawn to the social environment and people, it WAS there. - I settled down and walked away from pretty much all of my playing and these environments when I married. When my wife left (with my son), I had never felt so useless and alone. I felt like 'nobody' - a non-existing shell of a person. Luckily the divorce and my relationship with her is extremely amiable - she moved on quickly!!! It's taken time to find myself again and my happiness within myself. It is now, as I am 37, that I'm starting to visualize myself being alone until the day I die (I'm not negative - really!). When I look at it that way - it's a little depressing. My friends say it's my own fault for not putting myself out there...but for some reason I do not have the motivation to go trough that 'scene'. I feel that I am a very loving and affectionate person, but only to that special someone. I would like to think that there would be a woman, somewhere, that I could express my deep romantic side to; but I'd rather be alone then to subject myself to aggravation, frustration and compromise. I agree with a lot of you that the Holidays/New Year time is the worst, however. It seems so 'couple'- focused. I even have to hear it every year at the office Christmas party "what's wrong with you? Are you turning gay or becoming a monk?" I can't get mad - because unfortunately it is more 'acceptable' as the social-norm to be in a relationship with someone. I guess I'm not normal? - though reading some of the comments on this site - I don't feel SO alone.- funny. I'm definitely, in general, happy and content. Anyway...I just wanted to share this with some people that I felt may relate. I hope everyone well., "
john mcdonagh jmcb3@lycos.co.uk	London UK	" I suffer that indefinable sense of lonely oneness although having being in relationship(s) all my adult life (43 now) I have felt to varying degrees lonely or alone. I have to share and fear and feel the other persons pain and joy.. I need connectedness in relationship to relieve me of the superficial day to day people who by and large I disregard. They mostly don't commune and are signed up hardened exponents of the "I don't give a shit about anybody except me" camp. This is not my sense of cosmic connectedness which omits the terrestial and extra-terrestial earth based religions.. In favour of a faith of who wrote the code! And if the coder believes in the beauty of their design then their design is not deterministic but provides us/we with the freedom to encode and therefore to determine what is humane...then I subscribe to a shared humanity..of love and humanity"
JOANNE REDRYDER9@MSN.COM	Michigan USA	" I AM NEW TO THIS LIVING ALONE AS MY HUSBAND DIED TWO MONTHS AGO SUDDENLY. I AM TRYING TO MOVE PAST THE PAIN BY WRITING AND GARDENING. HAVING BEEN MARRIED FOR SO LONG, IT IS DIFFERENT. WE SHARED PAYING THE BILLS ETC. BUT NOW IT IS LEFT TO ME. WE HAD THREE TINY DOGS THAT NOW PRESENT A PROBLEM IF I HAVE TO GO OUT FOR LONG PERIODS, ALTHOUGH THEY ARE GOOD COMPANY. I AM FINANCIALLY SECURE BUT MISS THE DAILY INTERACTION WITH MY HUSBAND. FORTUNATELY I HAVE GOOD FRIENDS BUT FAMILY LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE SO I WORRY ABOUT THAT. I'M NOT SURE IF I WANT TO HAVE ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP WITH ALL THE THINGS THAT COME WITH THAT. SO HERE I AM WITH MORE LIFE BEHIND ME THAN IN FRONT OF ME. I MAY TRAVEL A BIT BUT I STILL NEED TO FIND A NEW NORMAL"
Fiona alone@hotmail.com	Toronto Canada	" This is my second year living alone. Living alone is definitely hard, especially after a long day at work. All I want is to talk and eat with someone. Weekends are hard too. I get really restless so am always in and out. I never really stay home for too long, otherwise I get too anxious unless am on the phone or msn. I like things being a certain way so I like that aspect of living alone. I don't think am easy to live with. I can't see myself moving back home. And after a series of failed relationships, am done plus I would rather be alone than just to be someone. So only solution is to live this life... and be my own master of domain"
Roxanne shandryl@hotmail.com	Canada	" I have lived on my own for 15yrs and love it. I spend some time with family & friends and love to do what ever I choose to do. I answer to myself and love the independence. :-) There are moments when I think a relationship would be nice. If it happens it happens, life goes on. I love my own company and do the little things in life to make happy. Life is too short to worry about the small stuff."
Nancy annjcd19@aol.com	Niagara Falls USA	" I have began recently to live alone. I lived with my Mom and took care of her for the last years of her life here. I have friends and relationships, but living alone is a big adjustment. Not sure how I feel about it yet. I am using this time to development Spiritually and in other areas as well. I would very much like to communicate with others who are sharing this lifestyle. Feel free to email me "
Laura st1gettnby@yahoo.com	Las Vegas US	" I had an epiphany this morning...it started with the realization that I have 7 siblings who haven't been a part of my life in years (and I've chosen to avoid seeing them at an upcoming reunion, because its healthier for me to not be around them). From that thought, I moved out to friends...and realized that, while I do have several wonderful friends in my life, for the most part, I have had very few "good" friends, over the course of my 41 years. I've also had few "romantic" relationships (although I did manage to find 2 miserable marriages along the way). Even my son, who I love very much, has gone off to explore his own life (in the Navy). In the end, I was left with a "Big Red Truck", so to speak....that I am very much "alone" in my world. Why does that word sound like it ought to be a four-letter word?? Why is that thought...of being alone...almost always followed by the question "What's wrong with me??"?? In this world where "happily ever after" involves a marriage (even in the Shrek movies!), I feel judged by those around me...as if they KNOW there must be something wrong with me, otherwise I'd have a loving husband, too. I never actively wanted to be alone...that wasn't my goal, as a child...and it still isn't my goal, as an adult. I enjoy having people in my life...I love to spend evenings in the company of others, laughing, playing cards, watching movies...doing whatever. In retrospect, all of the things I enjoy most are things that are difficult (if not impossible) to do alone. I love to camp, but don't feel going alone would be safe (for a single woman). Its not much fun playing Trivial Pursuit alone...even if I try my left hand against my right hand, somehow they both excel at the History, Geography, and Science questions, and they both suck at the Sports and Leisure questions!! <grin> So, what's a girl to do?? "
Stuart scottplamb@hotmail.co.uk	Edinburgh Scotland	" I'm alone but it's not through choice. My girlfriend left me after ten years. To be fair the relationship had been on the rocks for sometime but it still came as a shock. She has moved back home to London so it's not as if I can even talk to her face-to-face to see if there's any way to resolve the problem. I've tried phoning but it's not the same. So, anyway, that's me living on my own. The crazy thing is when we were living together things often got so bad I wanted to be alone but now that it's actually happened I feel lonely. How ironic! The saddest thing of all is that I became so comfortable in the relationship that I've lost contact with many of my friends. I'm now trying to get back in contact but it's been so long it may be too late for most. I have made contact with one old friend and we're meeting up soon so that's some good news! Anyway, I've included my email address so if anyone wants to email me from anywhere in the world please feel free to do so.
Casey	Canada	" In searching the internet for a "how to" manual on living alone, I found a great resource at www.singlejoy.ca . This is a downloadable e-book that covers almost all aspects of living alone and creating a social life, whether you do or do not desire a relationship. You can learn how to deal with just about anything on your own, take care of yourself and have friendships, too, and this book gives specific steps on how to create that. Good luck to all who are uncomfortable or unhappy on your own.. you might want to check that out "
val vbgi@sbcglobal.net	Houston Texas USA	" I am 51 and have been living alone for 8 months. I am not sure if I like it or not. I guess time will tell. I feel like something is missing. I want to be happy living alone, but I am not real sure about how to go about it. How do you cook for one? What do you do during holidays? How do you meet other single people without getting into relationships? I have a dog, 2 cats, a job and in home internet. You would ask what else does one need? Hell I do not know! I just know the serenity is not there. I would really like to hear what other people did to get on their feet and live! I do not want to go to church. I would like to have something to look forward to everyday. Do I need to just give this time or what? I am not miserable - I just feel lost sometimes "
Gloria Harrison gloria.harrison@fccc.edu	Philadelphia USA	" I'm presently going thru a divorce. I was only married 2 years and was physically abused. I was devastated, to say the least since I met my husband thru my Church Fellowship Group. He had been married for approximately 16 years and his wife passed away from lung cancer. I thought that he was a strong Christian man, but everything changed right after the marriage. I was hit on 10/22/06, a date I will never forget. I took him thru the court system and he is out of my house since I filed for a PFA (restraining order). I can say, after 6 months, I'm just starting to feel better and believe that everyone has to make their own life thru hobbies and friends"
Greta designr@gmail.com	Sandy Hook USA	" I'm 38 and living alone for about 12 years, more on than off. I truly like it when my life is good, but when issues arise, I hate it. Even though I can pick up the phone, it's not the same as having someone in your presence. I'm struggling through ptsd/post traumatic stress disorder right now and the loneliness is making me feel worse, I'm sure when this current grief passes I'll return to loving my single hood. "
Mary Gormley	Dublin Ireland	" I live alone, not really by choice, but just because it's worked out that way. I'm never bored as I have a job and various hobbies, but I do worry about what would happen if I were ill and couldn't look after myself "
Carol merdie55@aol.com	Margate USA	" I have just come to terms that I can't live with anyone either in marriage or lust. I am a better person when I don't have to people please or in my case man please. I love not being on a schedule and not having to cook for someone. I am 51 and divorced almost 5 years. that was my second marriage lasted about 7 years and first marriage lasted about 4. I bailed on both marriages because I was not happy or simply disappointed with my decision. Truth is I married both times for wrong reason. Anyway the living by myself (I don't count the 4 kids in my house) I mean living without a man ----- Has been great. I waited 10 years between the 2 marriages and should have never married again. Oh well, can't see that happening again because I am too set in my ways. I love my job, my home, my routines, my TV shows, my favorite foods, and my big bed. I don't have to confer about anything. I COME AND GO as I PLease and how can that get any better. Oh and I tried the dating service and the old hookups with old boyfriends and that didn't work so here I am by myself and pleased as pie. LOVIN the single life CAROL"
Wendy	Schererville USA	" I live alone not by choice but by death. I have been living alone for 2 years after losing my husband/best friend. My children are grown and I had the option to move in with them - I decided to give it a go on my own. This is a first for me. I have to admit on Sundays I miss the lazy mornings in bed with my husband but most of the time I have come to like being on my own. I have learned to do things around the house i never thought I could master. I have female friends that stop by and it is a very relaxed gossip time. I have a few male friends for when i want a dinner or movie out. If they are not around I don't let being alone stop me from going by myself. I would of never put my self alone by choice but my glass is still half full and I am learning to like depending on myself. Not sure I want to have to share all my time with someone else. Right now I feel i have the best of all worlds - the ability to be around friends ( male and female) when the mood strikes me or time to relax in my own space. Not sure I will ever go back to living with anyone again. "
alcy	Pickle Lake Ontario Canada	" I surfed into this site while looking for The Holleford Crater. My marriage ended in 1973, the year after I got my first long-term government job in Northern Ontario. Looking back on it...it was the best thing that has ever happened to me . Northern Ontario is home now as Saskatchewan was when I was born! Most of my closest friends live there and I live alone by choice. A typical summer afternoon and I am repairing the downspout in case it rains...a chum parks his truck by the curb...I am going to see if the brookies are hungry ...just a sec n I will get my rod ! I am a fair to middling cook...I have a bank account...I dabble in the stocks I fish and travel...I read and do a little writing....I am at peace with nature, myself and my God. BUT ...Traveling alone is not all that fun. I have an upcoming trip to see my sister in Washington state....a three day trip that takes me a week. I like sharing....I like doing for.....and I like new places- out of the way places- but this traveling alone has gotta stop ! I suppose I could take the train and rent a car BUT you do not see too many mooses like that. My friends say to advertise.....seems like picking up sleepy hitch hikers to me. I just might have to -bite the bullet- so to speak. Any ideas !!
John Medicine johnmedic@gmail.com		" Generally all the aging people feel depression. Make them aware about the beautiful nature. Engage them in new skills with smaller children"
Sheryl MissPinayluvsTai@aol.com	Huntsville Alabama	" Well im 22 and i have yet to live alone. When i first moved out at the age of 19 it was to an apartment in town and with my best friend. It quickly turned into an unpleasant place for she and i to be together. then after that year went by, my current boyfriend and i decided to live together for a year. Now that our 1 year cohabitation is nearly over, i feel i am ready to really live it up. I am looking forward to listening to MY own music as loud as i like and not having to share my computer with anyone else. I plan to do little projects like building a small bench or a coat rack so i can get that sense of accomplishment. I am still close with my best friend, but we agree that living together for one year was all we could take. As for my boyfriend and I, I don't believe we will be moving in again until we decide to take our relationship to the next level (marriage-fingers crossed). I have no kids so I won't be worrying about anyone but #1. I do, though, want a dog. i enjoy talking to something that shows love for me. I have been told that a young woman who lives by herself and is self sufficient and independent is more attractive and sought out than one who is emotionally dependent."
Matt	Arlington, TX USA	" I've always been a loner and I love living alone. I'm not a hermit, though; I have friends visit often, but when I want to be alone, I can be. Even Superman has a Fortress of Solitude. I like to read, write, listen to music, etc. at my own pace on my own schedule. Granted, many things are more fun when you can share them with someone, but I have no problem at all living by myself. Recently I heard of a women so lonely she would go to the grocery store just to have someone to talk to; I cannot relate to that at all. In fact, to me, living alone means you avoid a great deal of crap. "Better to be alone than to wish you were."
P.J.	Florida	" Just found the site and am enjoying the shared comments. I've been living alone for a little over ten years. Granted it has taken time to get over feeling abandoned, unworthy, hurt, scared, etc. and all of the other feelings and sensations that came after the end via divorce of a 36 year marriage. Finally I am happy about being alone. In all truth, even though I wasn't alone for 36 years, I was very lonely. Now I'm just alone but far from lonely. I have a great job, good friends and most of all wonderful kids who, although live far away, offer all of the love and support anybody can ask for. I don't believe that I will ever remarry or even live with someone. I enjoy my solitude and most especially making decisions that suit just me. Thanks to all who have written before and the sharing that is yet to come."
Bev	USA	" I happened upon this website because my daughter's hip-hop boyfriend told me that I needed a "censored", in reference to my being alone; but in reality, most likely because I don't approve of him or my daughter's relationship with him. This 25-year hip-hop follower is of the opinion that a woman without a man is unhappy. He does not realize that the only source of recent unhappiness for me is her relationship with him. That is another story, however. The Internet is a wonderful source for possibly every subject and therefore, I searched the Internet for proof or at least support that one can be alone and happy at the same time. I did not need the proof for myself. Even so, I was thrilled to find sources that indicate that more and more people are choosing to live alone and are living happily ever after without a mate. Please allow me to provide some of my story. I have been divorced since 1991 and tried dating and thought I wanted to be married again. I was relieved when my only marriage came to an end after 11 years even though I do not believe in divorce. At 34 years of age with young children at home, dating was extremely frustrating. After dating intermittently, I met someone who I felt was perfect because he had custody of two children, also. After this relationship ended, I closed the book on that part of my life and have kept to my decision to be alone. After all my spiritual source advises against marrying when your partner is still living... you know, the 'until death' thing. Since a relationship outside of marriage is not an option for me, I devoted all of my time to raising my two children, my parents and my work. This has been very satisfying. Now, my parents are deceased and my son and daughter are not at home. I believe, in part, that I have never felt lonely because I was busy with my children, had a close relationship with my parents and a strong spirituality. I am embracing living alone. I am 51 years old and I am devoting this phase of life to being good to myself. That is my intention for now. There is something that could change my mind... grandchildren! I must add that I am never really alone. I have had a wonderful relationship since I was 16 years old. Although I have not always been good to Him, He has always been there for me. Through the years, I found all of the answers to life's trials in His book. "
Penny	Winnipeg Manitoba Canada	" As I get older I spent more time in my home, rather than socializing with friends. I still work, so, I still interact with people all day, but enjoy my solitude in the evenings. I have taken on more hobbies, so I always have plenty to do.. Sometimes I feel I get over stimulated at a social gathering, and I only stay for a couple of hours, I'm always to first to leave. I hope this is normal, or ok, as I don't want to slip into a person that hates people!! "
Cher	Melbourne Australia	" Hi to all out there. I have read many comments here so far and am impressed with the honesty of how people feel living alone. I especially appreciated Rachel in New York who i could relate to very well. Its comforting to know that i am also not alone in living alone (globally)!! You can walk around nude ETC. the only people i feel comfortable living with is my family but i cant do that because i am too old and i do have my own place but im just too lonely to enjoy what others would appreciate more maybe. No one can tell you how it feels unless you have done it yourself. Being in a relationship IS ALTOGETHER different to being single and living on your own. In fact the two cannot be compared as often in a relationship one sleeps over etc. and there is always someone to be with (not alone at all) so to those who are truly living alone and are single then you are truly the most courageous and most independent and can say to yourself and others that you have experienced what it is like to truly live on your own. I take my hat off to you. You face more fears, more doubts etc etc and you conquer more than most because you HAVE LIVED ALONE and developed genuine character building and confidence. YOU CANNOT BUY THAT YOU CANNOT BUY THAT JUST REMEMBER THAT"
Donna	Winnipeg Canada	" It is great most of the time but I find that I miss sharing things. Also, it's not so great for chores because you have to do EVERYTHING yourself which can be extremely time consuming & exhausting. Cooking for one is also ok except that one tends to end up with a gargantuan amount of food which is either discarded or frozen for later. I also find it somewhat awkward to go out for a glass of wine by myself or dinner by myself in the evening as you get those odd stares from people...wondering "how come she's by herself?" The freedom to do what you wish, when you wish is good. I have a dog & she goes everywhere with me. I have had the odd occasional relationship which eventually becomes cloying. I am soon to be 58 but look about 39-40. I work full time being retired initially in 1993"
AJ	Greenville	"For anyone out their who is trying to deal with living alone I have a great little short read book that just might make you see your loneliness in a different light (Gift from the Sea) by Anne Morrow Lindbergh) Everyone should read this. I hope it helps you as much as it opened my eyes. Thanks AJ"
Kelli	New Westminster Canada	" I live alone but it's not really by choice. I find it lonely. My apartment building doesn't allow pets -- I think that's really unfair. Many people in apartments live alone; it's even more mean to say they can't have pets. I moved out of my parent's home just over a year ago because I wanted my own freedom and my father was not easy to get along with. There is no going back there, but I wish I had an alternative. Sometimes you just need to have someone around to tell your random ideas to. Signed, - Single and living alone (not by choice), "
AJ	Greenville USA	" I also love living alone although, I am not alone. I have two cats and a 22 long rifle under my bed. That is not living alone. And for Valentines Day all you singles cheer up. I plan to cook myself a great surf and turf dinner, an expensive bottle of wine and enjoy my ability to so. Happy Valentines Day to all of you"
James computarman@mail.com	Irvine, KY USA	"I lived alone for 3 yrs and then i was in a relationship for a little over a year. During that year I spent a lot of time with my girlfriend. I stayed at her apartment a lot and she would stay at my place sometimes. I enjoyed the time with my girlfriend don't get me wrong, but I noticed when I once again came back to my own place in the country I was so much more comfortable and at ease. Phone calls from her were often time a disruption of the great peace, quiet and solitude I felt sitting on my couch with my cats who are usually sleeping lazily nearby. Maybe there is just something wrong with me, but I hate being in someone else's psychological space when I'm trying to relax. My now ex-girlfriend had few hobbies or interest so it seemed I was constantly responsible for amusing her. This was especially true when her and I were at my place and I was wanting to do my own thing around the house. To me the thought of moving someone into my place seems like a bad idea. Its like my place is my refuge from the world of social mask that we all have to wear when we are in public. I do spend a good deal of time in public and I can be pretty comfortable with crowds and people because it is part of my job. It's just so nice to me not to have to try to please someone else all the time. This makes me feel that perhaps I am just too selfish to be in a relationship. I don't like the feeling even when I was away from my last girlfriend of constantly having to answer to her. She wanted me to spend a great deal of time with her and I missed my cats and my place even if i was enjoying staying at her place. Anyway I love living alone at my place in the nice quiet country. There is fresh air and and no traffic noise. I can listen to my music and movies as loud as I like without disturbing anyone and my cats never communicate much to me except for things like "pet me" or "I want out". They never gripe or argue with me. Speaking of griping and arguing I hope to never have to go through another knock-down-dragout argument again. When I'm in a relationship I never jump on anybody in that manner. However every woman I have ever been with seems to get some kind of sick pleasure from having a showdown once in awhile. I will discuss things with my mate but one thing I hardly ever do is say a bunch of things out of anger that i do not mean. That is the result of arguing when too angry so I say why do it since it causes disharmony and maybe some hard feelings afterwards. I used to tell my then girlfriend I didn't have to put up with someone breathing down my neck all the time because when I was alone at my house my cats never gave me any bad mouthing. Oh well I'm now back alone at my place with my cats and I'm asking myself in a logical voice, again why am I supposed to be sad that I broke up with my girlfriend. Oh well I will play an old George Jones song very loudly and try to understand why this guy was almost ready to kill himself because he had lost his woman. Maybe I'm just George Jones in reverse. "

Aunt Dupree	Buffalo	"Katherine in the UK commented on Valentines Day...Hey I use to feel down being alone on Valentines Day.. But then I thought, who knows me better than me...I who knows what I want for Valentines Day better than me...And who could possibly treat me better on Valentines Day then Me...So now every Valentine's Day I buy myself a chocolate heart, a red rose to remind myself of that..."
Barb barb@odk.org	Lexington, KY USA	" I am 52 and for the first time in my life I am alone. My husband (of 34 years) went into a nursing home four months ago and will not be returning home. I miss him something terrible. I see him almost daily but he is drifting farther away from me so I can't talk to him about little daily happenings. I have no family, no kids, just my church family and a few friends. The loneliness is crushing and sometime it paralyzes me. I feel as though I will have a panic attack. I do have a dog and cat which are so much company. At least when I come home from work there is something alive in the house. I am learning to eat alone, be responsible for everything in my life and just be strong. I have noticed that after I have cried all day and night that I feel much stronger the next day. Strange, huh? I enjoy the freedom of coming and going as I wish but oh how I miss companionship. Someone to talk to about my day, their day. I miss that special connection with a man. Knowing I belong to him and he to me. It is just a difficult time and everyone says time will help but God time goes so slowly. To all of you out there hurting.....hang in there. We will get through this and be better stronger people because of it. "
Laura elleflan@yahoo.com	North Carolina USA	" this may be a long one, so strap in people! first, i want to make the distinction of depression/loneliness versus living alone. i know. the chicken or the egg comes into play now. am i depressed from living alone so long, so soon, so whatever you want to insert here? or am i living alone and just happen to have depression from life's circumstances? one has to make this distinction in order to take the right corrective course. i know, for those of us who are not adjusting at all well to living alone for whatever reason, we envy those who are just sailing along and we secretly want to slap the smiles off of their faces and pull those frickin' yoga mats right out from under them! why should it be so much easier for some people than others? why are some of us so fragile and others so resilient? there is so much suffering in this world it could break a heart and bust a mind wide open. i am widowed by a man who i rarely felt companioned by and i lost my only child to college, then a life of her own. spouses and children are not a guaranteed "fix" for loneliness. be honest with yourselves and i will be with myself. those who are fortunate to have the right company and good chemistry don't understand why we cannot just pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and get into life. perhaps they have not been seriously abused or used or neglected. those people are not as shy or skittish as we others are. all i know, is in reading some of these sad posts i feel vindicated, blessed, and determined not to be life's road kill. my big fear is that i will become a bag lady. i won't always be unemployed, but i worry about my future. with all of these changes in my life, i don't know who i am, what i can do and what my value is. and i won't be grandiose and say that i will make a difference to this earth, but i will say that if i am very lucky that perhaps i will become essential to a few people. maybe just give them some comfort and they me. i just have to stay open to the possibility of it. god rest my mother's Italian soul. she used to say in her native tongue, "laugh and the world laughs with you...cry and you cry alone." my laughter is coming. i can feel it welling up in me. plus too people, nobody wants to hang around a sadsack. or a desperate clingy needy other to suffocate them. but by all means, beware of other people's devious plans for you. choose and choose wisely whom you let into your inner sanctum. me? i am lucky enough to have an insurance plan to go see a psychologist to help me learn about living alone, how to cope with grief and loss and numbness. i am not ashamed that i need someone to help me discover who i am after i have lost the roles of wife and mother. now don't start saying, "see, she has someone to help and i don't." i haven't even seen the shrink yet. this is what i have gathered from reading here. i have gained this urgent desire to survive. no, not just survive, but to live as fully as I can, as I can. and if it only means getting out there and finding my niche in the work world and coming home to an "empty" place and eating a hunk of meat and a vegetable and watching some tube, then if i can find real peace with that, then i am happy. think about it. i would have a home and some food. two more things that i would not have if i were dead. when living alone and suffering, i have noticed that it is easy to concentrate on what one does NOT have. for me, i am going to start noticing what i do have. when i moved across the country after my husband died, i gave away almost everything i owned. and it was a lot. i wanted a new start. no baggage. but a funny thing happened on the way to my earthly solution. i came with me. now, i know it isn't furniture or pots and pans or clothes that makes us what we are. it isn't even the heart that beats in us. what makes us what we are are our thoughts. if i keep telling myself i am a loser, then i will become one. in one of the posts a man talked about holding the fort together. well, my fort fell apart. i am tired of standing in the rubble of my broken fort and i am going to step away from it. and for those who want to reach out via telephone, there are hotlines in every state that you can call and talk to someone. if you need counseling, go get it. if it seems impossible to find, KEEP TRYING. and keep on until you get what you need. we don't NEED another body around to keep us sane and healthy. we need to have a healthy mind to attract others to us. and for you young people out there already talking of isolation and loneliness i must tell you that it gets harder to make friends as you get older. now is your time. whatever you need to overcome this funk you are in, you better go get it. take a few risks and reach out to others. you are young enough to take a little rejection. you are more resilient. take advantage of your youth and get your mind right while the gettin' is good. i am 42 years old. even i am still young and vibrant enough to take some risks. so let's all get off our duffs and do something. thank god for this website. it gave me the chance to see i am not alone in my feelings and the hope i am going to pull thru and seriously enjoy living alone no matter where i go. thanks to you all.
Pam	Middletown USA	" Living alone, being single is a unique experience. For some it seems that it allows them a freedom to do what they want to do without repercussion. For others, it seems to be a prison that engulfs them. I think I might be in the middle. There are so many things I love about being alone and just as many things that I hate. I am glad the holidays are behind us... the hype, the expectations are too much to live up to. I've found at age 52 that it becomes harder, not easier, to trust the motives of the people you meet. I think that is a sad commentary on society in general. However, I am so very thankful for old friends, my children, etc. Peace of mind is what I wish for all of us who travel through this life solo. "
Kim	W/S NC USA	" For the first time in my 50 years I am totally alone. All my family have died, my kids are off on their own...a good thing. My friends are great, but they have spouses and lives of their own. I love my church, but still feel as tho I am floating out in space alone. It is scary knowing the only person you can count on is yourself. I am smart, capable, and can take care of myself very well, however the loneliness I feel is crushing. At times I feel almost paralyzed. I am 50 and it feels as tho the best years of my life have come and gone. I do realize that each of us is ultimately responsible for our own happiness. Right now, I just try to get by each day as well as I can. Hopefully with time the future will look a little brighter! I sure hope so"
Lizzie	Arlington USA	" I started totally supporting myself alone at age 16 up until I was 25 then I came to USA got married had two beautiful girls. I became a widow at age 26. Stayed alone until I met a guy got married and had two sons. I have been single again for 20 years it was lonely at first. Bar scene you don't meet the right people. I love being alone I love my freedom only one to answer to and that is God. I have a good relationship with my 4 grandchildren. I leave them alone don't bother never aksed for $$ I manage, We talk sometimes and I am positive I handle my woes myself and finances as best I can It is a new year and I have made lots of resolutions. Good luck to you all. My solution keep busy and be happy get lots of rest and eat healthy."
Katherine	UK	" Hi, me again! Another one of these regular visitors! Just wanted to wish everyone a Happy New Year. I stayed in on my own this New Years eve because I can't cope with all the ridiculousness of crowded pubs or clubs (esp at new year). Bottle of wine, a good book, cat asleep on my lap. It was nice, quiet and peaceful. Felt a bit lonely at the stoke of midnight - scary because I have rarely felt lonely living on my own before. Maybe it is just me, but I think Christmas, new year, and valentines day are the cruelest days for single people living alone. Even though I know a lot of it is hype, I still manage to feel a tiny bit lonely on these days and wonder why I am still single. I soon bounce back from it though, as I will this time. Does anyone else ever feel like this?"
Noble tata@qnet.com	Quartz Hill California	" Happy New Year 2007! I found this great site just a few days ago. I have printed out all of your comments (all 110 pages!), but I have net yet read all of them. As I read your comments, my heart went out to all of you young people (under 60) who dislike living alone. I am a 77 year-old widower living in a very nice senior retirement complex. This place is over 50 years old, on 60 acres, and is very well landscaped and well maintained. I have three grown children with families (8 grand children) who live nearby; I see them at least once a week. My health is fair. The thing i miss most is not having someone with whom to share things, such as readings, news events, television, my many and varied interests such as Genealogy, History, etc., etc., AS Charles de Gaulle reputedly said, "Old Age is a disaster!" The toughest fact of my old age is that I can no longer drive a car. Believe me, that really puts a damper on your quality of life! On the other hand, I no longer have any aspirations to visit exotic places. I no longer wonder if my old high school friends are out having fun, leaving me behind. Not having such illusions makes this intellectual solitude more bearable. Well, hang tough, things will get better!
Elizabeth	Sylvania	" i miss having a companion...a lover....someone to hang out with and have Sunday brunch.. i feel like i have been alone forever.. live read all the books..taken the hot baths..done all the stuff your suppose to do ...but in the end im alone..i miss loving someone....."
Deb	Minneapolis	" I am 49 and I have been widowed for 2.5 years. I miss my husband very much, he was a huge part of me. I would never say he defined me but together we completed each other. I do enjoy living alone but miss having someone to talk to, be spontaneous with, laugh at and with. I miss Sunday morning coffee and shopping the ads while he read the news. I miss having someone I can call or otherwise interrupt at anytime day or night, one that never minded. I miss the tenderness, the loyalty, the support and oh yes, the sex. There were times during our nearly 30 years of marriage that I wished I could be alone. No kids, no husband, no one to answer to just the freedom to do what I please, whenever I please. You know what they say, "be careful what you wish for, you may just get it". I am attractive, creative, educated and own my own business however, I am too busy and skeptical to have a relationship. Many believe if you own your own business you must have money. I don't have the time, or desire, to sift through that mental nonsense. I also tend to forget that I am as old as I am and seem to be attracted to very young men. Even those that claim to be physically fit look and act too old for me. There is no attraction so now I guess I am a re-born virgin!:-) Holidays are very tough for me. My husband and I would shop, cook and entertain together. I just simply cannot get into that spirit any longer. I try and continue to fail. My children are great, as are my grandchildren but I was always the quiet one, the one that would be sure your needs were met but watched and just enjoyed the ambiance, my husband would play, talk and just complete those moments. My husband always managed to live life to its fullest and I now see I was fortunate and blessed to have him carry me with him on his journey. Living solo is not bad, it is just different. If I had an outgoing personality it may be better but for now it is a bit painful. I want to dance and sing in public but my personality leaves me sitting in a corner watching others enjoy life or immobilized at my computer."
Brian traintyme590@msn.com		"Merry Christmas everyone, and a happy new year. Most of my family have passed away over the past years. What is left of them are the cherished memories of days past. Christmas can be a hard time ONLY if you allow it to be. Keep up old traditions, make new ones, help out others in need. doing that gives value to you a person, who for whatever reason is alone, yet we are never truly alone. I have decorated my home, baked, and am cooking dinner for my elderly father. Enjoy your time alone, best wishes to all. "
flakjakit@hotmail.com	Victoria Vancouver Island British Columbia Canada	" For everyone.. alone at Christmas or not.. a Happy Christmas and a Great New Year... be safe, ;-),"
Bette betteanne@hotmail.com	Toronto Canada	" I love living alone...but the world around me seems to think that there is something wrong with me. Thinking and living outside the box is not an easy thing to do. But you have to be true to yourself. Living alone doesn't mean being alone...it just means choosing to live by yourself. There is a huge difference. I wish the rest of the world would just catch up..."
Jim deluxe.rider@hotmail.com	Iowa USA	" I have been married twice, both combined years total 30. I have been alone now for almost 9 months. I'm still getting used to it. I am just beginning to adjust, getting to know myself, and realizing I have a bunch of freedoms that I didn't have before. I retired about three months ago, which now has added an additional amount of free time to my life. I would be very interested in hearing from people who are similar and how they adjusted, coped, etc."
yamini surg_tech05@hotmail.com	New York USA	" i have been married for 25 years now i am 45. i love my husband . as i am growing older i want to do things i enjoy and i want to make decisions for my self. my husband is a good person and a good responsible man and has taken care of me all these years. i recently went back to school and got a degree and has taken up an average job. i want to be able to do things i enjoy , go out Friday evenings with friends. etc etc. last 25 years i have cooked cleaned taken care of the children and been a faithful responsible wife. however i am slightly eccentric, i enjoy paintings and galleries, and music and hanging out with friends etc etc. me and my husband don't have much in common. on weekends we do stuff with friends . however now at this stage in my life i want to have the right to do things i enjoy and make decisions for myself. on Friday nights when i want to go out my husband wants to know exactly who i am going out with , what time i go out and what time i will be back and he wants me back before he gets back, every Friday he goes out on his own . i resent when he controls me and gives me deadlines .i don't mind his going. i had an arranged marriage soon after college. before my marriage i did what my parents wanted and after my marriage my husband made most decisions for me. is there ever a time when a woman can make decisions for herself?? i would like to live alone but at the same time i want a relationship with my husband. i want to be loved by him and i want to see him occasionally. my husband makes great money and i make only 30 k. am i abnormal for having these feelings and desires?? am i selfish?? am i eccentric?? am i foolish?? is living alone better than living in a controlled relationship?? freedom at what price??
Ellie	Gainesville USA	"I was married the first time for 12 years and then the second for 17. Each time my spouse checked out of the marriage after about 10 years and we just existed living in the same house. I finally had enough and started working towards leaving. After five years of slow steady movement I finally left. For the first time I get to truly do my own thing and not feel guilty about enjoying life. I have family, friends and great things to do. There is no reason anymore to feel guilty or baby sit someone. I found a poem five years ago that started me on my way and one I live by each day. Happiness is found along the way not at the end of the road. As long as each day brings a measure of Happiness to your life you are on the right road :o"
Kindle kindlewood@adelphia.net	Washington DC USA	" I stumbled onto this website by purpose. I was wondering how others dealt with living alone. I have lived alone for a year now and for the most part of it I like it. On occasion I get hit with a wave of loneliness. The internet helps but sometimes not. When it gets like that I force my self to get ready to go out. If by the end of dinner I don't feel better I go to Borders or a coffee shop and mingle until I am too tired to hurt about it. I love not having to report to anyone. It took a while for me to figure out I could make a schedule. Up to this point I was scheduling around others. Now I make the schedule and have them schedule around me. I also learned to have a back-up plan - in case I am stood-up. I made up a list of things to do for when I am bored. Not just chores but fun solitaire things also. I quit smoking recently and that was hard. It was most difficult when I was alone. I learned to play Soduko, and now I have no problem not smoking. Other things I like doing alone: Yoga, write, and study. I do have a pet. I love my privacy. I don't worry if I die and no one notices... I just hate that my pet would have to smell it. I did go through that. I believe that is because you believe no one cares for you and that hurts. The truth is you know you can count on yourself and reaching out is only human. I wish you all well and hope you enjoy not looking for the scissors!"
Kathy	Missouri USA	" I'm alone but not lonely most of the time. I'm 57 and have been alone for 3 years now. I also moved from NYC to MO to be close to my grandchildren. Most of all I miss companionship and having someone in my life."
Kay	USA	" I will be 58 years old next month. I have been living totally alone for 1 1/2 years. My husband died in 2000. I raised my daughter, who left for college 1 1/2 years ago. I was surprised at how lonely I felt when she left. I thought I would relish being alone and sometimes I do but sometimes I'm overcome with loneliness and fear that I will always be alone. At other times I enjoy being alone. I'm not sure I want to live with someone again but would love the company of a good relationship with a man. I miss being with a man. I'm trying to take this time to develop more spiritually and to work on some of the issues that have come up for me since being on my own. When you're in a relationship, raising kids, etc. your concentration is on them much of the time. When you're alone you're left with yourself and all the issues you never got around to dealing with. I want to feel like I have a "grip" on those before entering a relationship with another person. I keep busy working part time, doing yoga, walking, exercising, reading. I miss having someone to cook for as I love to cook and bake. I am hopeful that some day I'll find someone to share life with. I feel I have so much to share and contribute to a relationship."
Paul anti666autry@hotmail.com	tecumseh USA	" Are you kidding? Living alone is awful. My house used to be full of people living with me. My parents and friends lived with me. And when all moved out, I became a psychopath. Living alone is AWFUL! I love to be around people. I like the hell that can develop"
hyun chunghyuntae@netzero.com	Kitchener Canada	" I let my wife go because she wanted to 4 years ago. I gave most of my property to her. She will take care of kids. After this, I travelled the world, from Canada to Europe. I enjoyed my life. Sometimes I feel solitude, but I exist in this planet with faith to my God. I became a religious man suddenly after separation. I met the Virgin Mary at the seashore of Nova Scotia. I felt I had to give up most of my property to the ex-wife, and then I will get free, absolutely free. Therefore I did. Now I am free to go anywhere. Next year, in Spring, I plan to make a trip to China and to see my parents. Life is the beauty of God, I think. These days I enjoy my life. Sometimes I chat with girls from other countries. It is good. Good Luck to all singles"
Katherine	U.K.	" I am 31 and live alone and I have to say that I truly love it! What is ironic is that from the age of 18-29, I lived with a series of 3 boyfriends and even though I cared for them, I think that for the most part what kept us together so long was that I had never had the strength of character to either live alone or be single. These two issues were very intertwined for me - living alone and being single. Being single has definitely been a good thing for me, though of course when I first became single I really felt like the rug had been pulled out from under my feet! The period just after the break-up was like a social and psychological rehabilitation - who am I? What do I really like/enjoy/dislike? Living alone happened about a year after being single and I have been living alone now for well over a year. For me living alone is mainly a very enjoyable thing. I am pretty introvert anyway, which probably helps. I like that I can come and go and do as I please without having to consider someone else. I can also indulge in my favourite 'secret single behaviours' without offending anyone - like staying in my pajamas all day, eating food straight from the tin, drinking straight from the carton, crying my eyes out to black and white movies on a Sunday afternoon, and sometimes letting my kitchen sink turn into a swamp! I am in the lucky position now of owing my own house and I've enjoyed decorating my house to my own tastes to the point that it feels like a true home. I also keep myself busy with a lot of hobbies: reading, yoga, keep-fit, art work. I have very good friends that I have regular social contact with, and I have an enjoyable job. At this point in time I could not ask for anything more, as I am very contented with what I have got. Sometimes I miss having that special someone, but I certainly do not miss all the baggage and problems that seem to go along with it! For me I would rather be (as a very good website puts it: www.quirkyalone.net ) "better to be untethered and open to possibility"! One more thing, I am a regular visitor to this website and have been reading the comments posted on here for over a year now. I have found this forum very interesting and inspiring, and can empathize with much written on here. At times when I have felt lonely or disheartened it has also been a great source of comfort. So thanks to everyone who has posted on here and I wish you all the very best, wherever your lives may take you :0)"
k . moorthy	colombo srilanka	" i am mr.moorthy,christian,engineer(building/civil),m.s.engmanagement degree admission -distance learning(california coast university),graduate,m.i.const.m(u.k),a.m.i.e.t(u.k),civil eng(lond),3-year dip in civil eng(india),computer & internet(srilanka),engineer(srilanka),member of catholic truth society(u.k),7 years engineer experience (srilanka & gulf countries),alone living in colombo city,srilanka, because my mother & 2 sisters live in canada and have no contact with me due to anger on me.so, i have been earning myself and living independently.at present, i have been looking for friends through many web sites for my life upgrade.recently, i have got a job to work in dubai,u.a.e.now, i have been expecting visa to earn money and settle abroad.i have been living in colombo city in srilanka in rented room in a guest house.i pay rent 7000/= (sl rupees).i use to have food at hotel/restaurent.i wash my dresses myself,press dresses myself,clean my room myself,travell alone myself,go to church on tuesdays & sundays alone myself and eat at hotel/restaurent with other unknown people.i welcome alone females to join me through any relationships/friendships.my mobile no in srilanka is 094--0779891821(24 hours).at present, i am an independent bird at the age of 45 years old(unmarried) and am able to join another independent bird/birds towards life path.welcome you.my e.mail addresses;"
mia	phillipines	" I think living alone is not for everyone..but there are some who are well adjusted to living a single life. I feel that married people have more worries in life than those who are single. at 33, im just okay being alone..but i sometimes feel scared about my future.it sometimes comes to me just like this night, it is not the finances that some of us scare us the most,it is not what people would say about us, but more than anything, it is the loneliness of living alone, especially when you get really really old.anyway..What is keeping me strong is the fact that God will look after those who will put their trust in Him.. He is the best companion ever!"
jonathan	akron USA	" well i really like living alone....i was in a monogomas relationship with someone for 4 years...he dumped me because he said we had drifted apart and he was no longer in love with me...well i was devastated for almost a year...all i did was eat and sleep i just existed...but now i have been in my new apartment for almost a year and i actually LOVE it alone!....yeah money is tight because it costs more to live alone...but i think its worth it....like someone else put it...I am the captain of my ship....and i can do things the way i want to...and not have to worry about anyone else....i can watch the same DVD's over and over again without someone bothering me about it...i can be online for as long as i want to without worrying about someone else ....its been a good experience for me....at first...i was so afraid to be alone...seriously i was terrified...that i would be lonely or depressed...but once i actully did it...because i had no choice...it was much better than i ever thought it could be...now i never want to live with anyone ever again...i dont mine being in a relationship but never a live together relationship....living alone has taught me so much about myself...what makes me tick...and what kind of person i really am...i get to be alone with my thoughts...thats key for me....living alone is awesome,"
Randy	Okmulgee USA	" I am a 31 year old man living alone for 4 mo after a seperation from 8yr relationship. I do believe it gets easier but I still have hard days. I would love to find someone if God wants me to have somebody. I think its his way of making me a better person so I must have faith its for the best. I'm staying flexible on the idea of living with or without a woman in my life but I am defenitely lonely alot of the time. I work alone and that probably doesnt help lol."
John paydate17325@yahoo.com	Chambersburg, PA USA	" I'm 37 and have been living alone for 6 years since my divorce (I have my daughter part-time). I still have mixed feelings about being alone. Sometimes I am resolved to the fact that I will be alone for the rest of my life and that's OK. Other days I desperately want a relationship. It seems that I have a hard time meeting women and when I do it never seems to go anywhere. I do enjoy the fact that I can do what I want whenever I want, but it would be nice to share it with someone. Maybe someday I will be where many of you are, living alone and loving "
flakjakit@hotmail.com	VIC B.C. Canada	" Well, the odometer just clicked over 58 years on the 5th of august, and in all for that is real, i am beginning to believe that i will live the rest of my life alone / without a 'consecutive other'. the summation of that is the jury is still out on if thats a good idea or not.. i know as you lose some of your mobility and agility through age or medical reasons, you should have 'someone' around that you can rely on to lend a helping hand, and for some of us the reluctance to realize that we are getting older and may have to give up things we used to do and need a hand is a bitter pill to swallow. im living a comfortable life..i am retired and now can take things as they happen, not as they were before. ive done a lot of personal growth alone and its been a learning journey for me.. i like myself more and have time to love me too. thats important if you intend on having 'another' in your life again. my cup is full, i dont need/want/require to do any 'sipping' from her cup for any reason. being alone has, as we all know, its lonely times when a soft shoulder, an attentive ear, or just a hug would be nice, however we who are alone are not the only ones that are alone. even those who are 'with' someone feel loneliness too. so maybe spending those timeless nights when a hug would be nice, isnt a bad thing.. it just takes a 'need to do' attitude.. enough said.. and remember.. be good to yourself, your the only one you get :) be safe "
Lee Douds l.douds@verizon.net	Venice USA	"I live in a quiet neighborhood and worry about die in my sleep and I could lay in my bed for months before discovered. Need some type of alarm that I reset every morning. If I am going to travel I could unplug at my house so alarm will deactivate"
Frau einsam sana_sameer_71@hotmail.com	Vienna Austria	" I think most of the things in life are habits. Living with family or living alone is one of them. I came from big family living in Asia and now moved to Vienna. Being very religious I did not let any male enter into my life unless he is not committed (Quran, Bible and all other religious books stress this). And that put me in a position to be all alone for the last 6 years. I am 35 year old girl from Asia, living in Vienna. Living alone can be wonderful and could be worst experience in once life. I really love Quantum Theory, maybe you will understand me after seeing What the Bleep Do We Know!? Loneliness can be killed by developing lots of interests and do not wait for someone to light up your life. As all of us are takers and hardly any one giver. So learn to give and take things back from life itself. Living alone gives me the opportunity to read and think. I read Rumi, Kabir and many other Zen Masters. Listen the book "Power on Now" and understand the idea of being happy. But it does not mean that I can apply it all the time. As Rumi said: Soul receives from soul that knowledge, therefore not by book nor from tongue. If knowledge of mysteries come after emptiness of mind, that is illumination of heart."
Vanessa Rose califvanessarose@yahoo.com	huntington beach usa	" We all die alone (even if someone is sitting at our bedside). Living alone prepares us for the inevitable. It also provides the opportunity for spiritual and personal growth. You can't hide from yourself; your shortcomings are in plain view and living alone gives us the time to examine ourselves and grow into the best human souls we can be."
Brian M	Calgary Alberta	" Having read a sampling of the comments, I find this is a very valuable source of comfort and positive reinforcement. I am a middle-aged man, divorced after 25 years of marriage, some happily, some very painful. Although I find my solitude hard to bear at times I know that the single life is the only way I can live a successful life. Whenever I think about trying to find someone, it takes about thirty seconds for me to discard the idea. I am too set in my ways to ever live with anyone again. My ex-wife has a friend again, and I am happy for her and wish her all the best, but I think that i was always meant to be on my own. Being around other people too much always stresses me out. I am always happy to get back to my own place and crash (ie. be myself, as opposed to wearing some kind of "social mask") Sometimes I think I am weird, but most (90%) of the time I just don't give a shit what anybody thinks anymore. That's the beauty of older age I guess!"
grace	victoria canada	"I have been living on my own now for two years, my husband left me. The pain has at times been unbearable, and at times I wonder if it will ever be gone. As to being alone, it can be great, but I too believe that we are meant to have a partner to share with. I especially miss the times that are the quietest, they seem to be the most intimate and rewarding. Learning how to do everything on my own has been a challenge but I still haven't learned how to get out there and meet new people and keep busy and social. How do you do that when you're most happy at home with someone special? Any helpful hints out there?"
Max's Place	Lala Land USA	"This is a very comforting site. I've blogged here before. All I can say is if you write on 1 side the advantages of living alone and the disadvantages, overall I always end up alone, I guess it was meant to be! If you want to be a stronger person, you ought to at least try living alone. I feel in the long run it's the best way. No matter what anyone says you usually die alone anyway. Thank-you! Max?"
Rose	Ohio USA	" It's going on two years since I have been living alone (again). My life has been a series of marriage 10 years, living alone with kids for 8 years, marriage2 years, divorce and living alone with one kid for 5 years and then falling in love and cohabitating for 4 years. Now that I am in my late 40's, my kids are gone, I am truly alone. I am sorry to say that I don't love it. I tolerate it because there is no other choice. I believe that as humans we were not meant to live a solitary life. Living alone and singledom is not for me, even though I have spent at least 1/2 of my adult life singularly. I miss the companionship and the consistency of having someone to talk to, to eat with and to just "be" together in quiet times "
SavageAngel72	Ontario Canada	" I moved into this apartment on March 3, 2006. It's a bit challenging to keep up with bills, but I find keeping a check-list and a budget helps. It's been quite an adventure. This place is newly furnished, pretty much everything in it is brand new, and looking around it sometimes, I'm still racked by thoughts of disbelief that it belongs solely to me. "
Judi nice1024805@aol.com	Waukegan USA	"I love living alone for the peace and quiet. My food is not eaten, and things are the same as I left them, when I return home. I can read, write, sat on the computer, and no one is asking me anything. My bathroom and kitchen is as clean as I left it. I do not have to worry about anyone "snooping" in my stuff. I can turn on the lights anytime and no one is begging or stealing my little money. I do not have to clean up after anyone but me. I do love people, but outside my home. Once they enter your home, they become dishonest gossips"
mike tellit2her@yahoo.com	huntington usa	" After a 28 year marriage to a woman who I thought would be there forever experienced menopause and walked away from it all. Now its time to move on and live my life to its fullest potential. I am glad that I am domesticated, and can cook, clean, do the laundry and all those things that most men hate to do. Finding ways to stay occupied such as reading, church, activities with community, but it just seems like there is something missing, gosh I wonder what it is? At times I feel that solitude is pure punishment, but try to stay away from thinking too much, as it feels like your behind enemy lines at times. Doing well, but its totally different to me "
Stephanie	USA	" I just found this site and love it!! After 15 years of marriage, I have been alone now for 6 years. Wow! What an experience it has been. At first, I didn't think I could live. Now, I don't want to live any other way. What a liberating experience. To anyone struggling, I would suggest getting out in the community as much as possible. I have made wonderful friends and can still come home and enjoy my peacefulness. Since being alone, I have enjoyed everything from horseback riding, belly dancing, glasswork, yoga, tai-chi, and too many more to mention. I loved reading this site. I made me feel like there are so many people like me. In the small town I live in there are not too many of us single people around and many of the emotions posted here I have felt as well. However, we all just keep going. That is the most important part. I wish everyone well. Thanks for this site and the support "
Kristina	Houston	" Being alone beats waking up to someone who could care less about you or be a danger. For the time that I was married, most nights my husband would stay out late with his friends and I would sleep alone, he'd come in early in the morning and sleep during the day. I was left to amuse myself and clean up after any mess that he made. Sharing an apartment with his friends was worse. He told me they were there to take up some expenses but all they did was live off of us most of the time and left messes. I rather have my own place, THANK YOU!"
Debbie redhotbettyd@hotmail.com	Buffalo USA	" ITS REALLY SCARY!...BUT I HAVE 10 KITTIES, SO THEREFORE....I AM BLESSED!"
heavenlly herrifv@aol.com	irvine united states	" I am a older professional woman, i lived with my son and his family for 9 1/2 years me and the wife didn't get alone, we moved separately, i sold my home, now i am leasing and alone, i miss my 9 yr old grandson we did everything together. living alone sucks, i have no friends just acquaintances at work, and i am miserable, i feel like there is a empty space i me, and frankly i don't know what do do, i feel what is left for me death to a older woman is all that is left. i am financially secure i work everyday, don't need a man for taking care of me, nor do i need drama, i had enough of that with my daughter in law and her kids, that were not my sons kids. anyone have any ideas for me. I have fish, but they can't talk back"
Sue	London UK	" I've been living alone for 4 years now and I continue to grow into my independence. I still find myself wondering what my ex would think of this or that and then realizing that i don't give a ? anymore. When I feel lonely I think of how much I've grown so far"
Graham gmiles@sympatico.ca	Windsor Ontario Canada	"Living alone is great for some people and not for others. especially not for me. I was a firefighter for many years before I retired and from my experience being alone is no good. The reason: when you die you die alone and that can take a long time. I've seen many times. It's also a fact that individuals who have a partner live longer and live happier lives. Get someone for yourself, you owe it to the both of you and to your longevity."
AJ iamjerkmagnet@yahoo.com	SC USC	" Yes Financial worries are a hard part of living alone. I have lived alone for 13 years and the hardiest part was learning to live below my means and learning to save for a money drought, job loss or what ever else life can swing my way. And believe you me that I have had a lot thrown my way, but keep faith in yourself and get a money making hobbie."
S A		" Financial worries are the worst. I think I may have to rent out the other room. But I don't want to... I'm just worried about being able to afford my place on my own. But the being alone part.... is great "
Darkchoctaw	Paris Texas	" I just got my heart broken by my male best friend of 14 years. I have just decided to not think about love, marriage, and close relationships of that sort for a while. If it happens, it happens. "
JIll jfmc1038@adelphia.net	Euclid USA	" Just found this website and have found all the comments interesting. I'm 61 yrs old, and have had times over the years when I've lived alone. I've always hated it. Now I find myself alone again, Only this time my fear is it will be forever. I got a dog. She's adorable, but not the same. I recognize all the advantages to living alone but feel lonely most of the time and need to find a way to get over the sadness of it. There must be something I'm missing. I assume time will help, but in the past I was alone almost 9 years and still hated it. Any insights would be appreciated "
HomeAlone	Montreal Quebec Canada	" I agree that living alone requires much more responsibilities that it seems. It's not for everyone. However, the fact that living alone brings loneliness is wrong. Loneliness is a feeling. We cannot create feelings. We can only experience it.,"
Robin anovellady@hotmail.com	USA	" I live with my 10 year old son but it is not the same as having a partner. Deep down I know that 90% of my stress is caused from an adult relationship and most of the time I dread going on dates. I came to this site because I know that I am better off alone. I just need to figure out what to do with myself. You spend so many years working on relationships and thinking about someone else and then one day you realize, MY GOD! these people make me crazy. Right now I am trying to keep myself from being depressed. In truth, I love being alone. I don't really want to live with anyone. I guess I miss the attention. I am divorced by choice and never regretted that move but I guess I thought I would fall in love again someday. Now I think, maybe we are not all meant to fall in love. I read a book called Many Masters, Many Lives, it is about reincarnation and it gives a deep meaning to our lives and our purpose. I am trying to figure out my purpose. I am reading this site for strength "
carolsuezq	accoville USA	" i miss the companship but love everything else about it"
LeaveMeAlone	UK	" Am 40 yrs female. Been living 'alone' for over 6 years. I found, living and exploring life alone, has by far more benefits than disadvantages. Being alone I have learnt so much about 'running' my life. Eg, getting work done, finding the right person for getting a 'job' done. And the most important thing about living alone is, once I accepted my situation I found myself constantly asking this question - 'How do I solve this problem single handed?'. Stuff like moving heavy and bulky stuff around home, shopping for heavy/bulky stuff. There is a kind of 'magic' in living alone - it literally forces you to find solutions where on the face none exist. And there are many occasions when having gotten over problems I had to pat myself on the back and say 'I didn't know I could do that?'. This gives so much confidence and is such fun. Its the kind of fun like playing computer games where one has to 'uncover' all possibilities to find a way out before going on to the next level. And trust me, we have so much hidden potential that once you find it, it would leave you in 'disbelief'. And I have a bad back, a permanent neck injury from a car accident 10 years ago, weak wrists etc. Its so weird that sometimes I have to wonder - if I really made up these injuries. But don't get me wrong, due my health problem I do have limitations, somehow friends I do manage. I strongly believe in being 'self reliant', hence push my self into the frame of mind 'I have to do this 'MYSELF' and no other way.'. Sometimes, solutions don't leap at you right away, but that's the fun of being challenged. I love the challenges of being alone, solving problems on my own. Its such great fun. And this is what motivates me and keeps me going. The more challenges the better, it means more learning, discovering and confidence, ultimately more of 'self-reliance'. The icing on the cake, was finding calm and peace. Calm equals, peace and bliss. I spend a little time doing meditation each day, and ever since I started, I found a deep calm, that's difficult to explain. This too in many ways, helped in understanding 'nuts and bolts' of life. The people with whom I exchange words are, while one is shopping or when one has to get some work done. There are 1-2 people that I might see, once or twice a year, talk to family 3-4 times a year over the phone. And thats about it. The reason for this is, people always try to tell you what to do which is very annoying and not helpful at all. And sometimes they will ask too many questions about things I have no desire to talk about. But they just don't understand, so I simply removed them from my life as they were a source of 'stress'. Hence I feel so much at peace and calm being alone. Slowly when I got used to all this - I have reached a stage where I find it difficult to spend time with people. I have develped a low tolerance of having anyone around me at home. Few hours is the most I can take, more than that and I want each person to LEAVE. But I have no regrets and I wouldn't change a thing. By the way, as I am self employed, working from home for the past year and half, so I am more withdrawn the public. Since I paint, I need solitude and calm, to get into pure deep creative state. This life style is just perfect for me. Although I would like to have a child of my own, but I could always adopt one. And I am in no rush for anything, will take each day as it comes. If anything, I wish I had started living alone sooner in life, I would have enjoyed life a lot more for a lot longer"
Jim Melanson	Toronto Canada	" Living alone and loving it!!!! Most of my life I've been with someone, family, girlfriend, wife, etc. Now I'm 40, single, on my own, have my own space decorated MY way, I do MY thing when I want to and I love it!!!! I may just never cohabitate again!!"
Lisette	Wicklow Ireland	" Three years on despite everything I miss the company of a man. There is a void that never goes away. We went everywhere and did everything together. I have dated many other men but find only they have enough baggage to fill an airport and adjusting to their ways of doing things as difficult as it is for them (for me) I'm sure! I wish I had been taught to live alone at an early age "
janardan bkjanardan@gmail.com	Hyderabad India	"Now i am 26 young guy living lonely , i find a female lonely partner. who is broad minded and ....."
Masoom masoomh@hotmail.com	Dubai UAE	" To be honest I am getting pretty worried about how much I enjoy my own company....sometimes I actually have to convince myself that the silence I go through on certain days should not be so much fun and so peaceful......but the beauty of my own gentle existence minus small chatter, conflict and generally the general flow of life, the hectic pace etc.....is just soooooooo nice '
Tracy	Hamilton Canada	" Hi, I'm still here and still living alone with my cat. Living alone still has it's moments of delicious reclusiveness...I wonder if living alone has permanently sculpted me into a person who can never live with anyone. I just came out of a relationship (?), (well a love-swapping thing anyways) and now I am in that kind of wondering mood. Living alone for many years now. I have "adapted". I accept it because I have to. I used to think "What doesn't kill me makes me stronger", now it's " What doesn't kill me just hurts like f**king hell!" Good Luck to all of you loners out there. It isn't easy. But you get a lot more time to be by yourself and that can be a nice thing as well as not. I know I won't settle for less than happiness, so I guess that is that. Hope my mind can take it. Some days are better than others. Some just totally suck and I have very little energy. Wish things were different, but I am doing the best I can with my life, and sometimes it is better than excellent."
ct	Canada	" Living it and loving it (most of the time) !!
Blondie101	Providence USA	" At 47 years old, I have found myself alone for the first time in my life. It is terrible. My fiancé of 9 years decided to up and leave. He wants to sell the house we lived in. I can hardly take this new and uncomfortable time in my life. For all who have a relationship - take care of it, cherish it. Being alone hurts!"
JPF	New Jersey USA	" I have been living alone for a little over 2 years now. After spending my college and grad school years living with roommates in various apartments, I took a job out of state and plunged into my own apartment, which I LOVED. I loved the freedom, the independence, the fact that I was able to do this at the age of 25, I had such a feeling of ownership over my life. After one year of living there, the agency I worked for closed and I was transferred back to my home state, and I got my own apartment here. Lately I have been miserable with it all. 27 years old now, and am really missing the company of a friend/lover to live with. I am much happier when socializing, and want someone to share my life with. It is also so expensive... I guess being 100% responsible for ALL bills, decisions, repairs, etc is "character building" but is also bank account depleting! I share the sentiments of someone else on this board who said that they could be passed out on the kitchen floor for days and no one would know.... that freaks me out now, where it never did before. I also find that the things I thought I would be doing... entertaining friends and family, dinner parties, etc... well they don't happen often at all. While I do have an active social life with different circles of friends, I find that at the end of the day (almost every day!) I come home to an empty house and it is depressing!"
Margurite	Upper Marlboro USA	" Being alone is never easy in the beginning. But as time passes, things get better. I think it is only human nature that compels us to disire a mate. Unfortunately, the right mate is hard to find. It is far better to live alone that to be with someone and still be alone. The old saying is true...I can do bad by myself. One day I hope some one will come along who appreciates me. In the meantime, I have to appreciate and love myself."
Hugh Jazz ilovethearena@hotmail.com	Guelph Canada	" Sometimes I like to get really drunk and stumble about for my own amusement. I'm so lonely. Please talk to me. I like cooking for one. Usually I just eat cheetos, naked, sweating, watching American Idol on a bean bag chair. Sometimes I get really mad a Simon and wish that I had friends to get mad at him with. Don't hate me because I'm honest. And Sweaty. Also another great advantage of living alone is that I don't have to argue about what to watch on T.V.....hence I just leave it on American Idol...or sometimes when I'm feeling frisky Canadian Idol. I wish there was a 24 hr "Idol" channel. I'm missing it right now. Better go"
Aj iamjerkmagnet@yahoo.com	South Carolina	" Hello, I am a 44 year attractive and rather smart women, who has been living alone for 10 years since my divorce. I really enjoy my time alone. I have 2 wonderful cats that always soothe me when I am down. My job requires me to interact with people for 10 hours a day so I am not lonely for people. When I am home I try to keep busy in my little house by doing things I enjoy. I love to work in my yard, which brings me so much instant gratification into my life. My parents live about 4 miles from me and we have a great time together and we really help each other out a lot. We respect each others privacy. But, I feel as if I have missed out on a whole life, not all the time, but it is February 06 and I wonder what it would have been like to have a real marriage, children, home and growing old together. I look at my friends whose children are getting married or leaving for college and see their pride, it does depress me sometimes. This web site I just happened onto has opened my eyes to see their are a lot of single households out their in this small world. I do realize I would rather be alone than with someone and alone. "
elle	Los Angeles US	" I recently turned 26 and am living truly alone for the first time. I moved out of my parents' house a long time ago but have always lived with a boyfriend or friend and had someone around. Six months ago I moved 2000 miles away from my family and friends to California and six weeks later found out I was actually 3 months pregnant. I had been attributing all my pregnancy symptoms to the stress of the move and did not believe I could be pregnant because I was actually on birth control (it really is only 99% effective I guess!) The baby's father chooses not to acknowledge me or the baby which is super convenient for him I guess because I am so far away. I used to be the life of the party and now I find that some days I go without speaking to a single person. In only a matter of weeks I will have a new baby to take care of so I suppose I won't be completely alone but I really wish I had someone to share this experience with. When you're pregnant people really keep their distance, I guess they assume you must have someone else there for you, so its impossible to meet new people. Even when I do I know they must really wonder about me because when I tell them I live alone they treat me like the plague. Now I feel like I've probably lost some of my social skills and "edge" but I know I have a very big task ahead of me and will probably be alone for a long time because now I will have to be extremely careful about other people to protect my baby., "
Karty skartykn@yahoo.com	chennai India	" I have lived alone for almost an year. But i use to bring my friends to my home, prepare them some dish of my own. I chat with neighbours. so i haven't found it that though. But mind you i was in a semi urban area where i can mix with them culturally"
Prennis prennis@netzero.com	Boston USA	" Hello, I am a native of Northeast Louisiana I moved to the Boston area about a year and a half ago, since then I've made no real friends besides a few folks at work. So I spend a lot of time alone I am divorced and find it difficult and boring going through the routine off going to work and coming home to an empty apartment. My only day off is spent doing laundry and grocery shopping, then it's back to the job! I feel that I should have some social life but the bar scene leaves me with a hangover I'd appreciate any advice on some positive things I can do in my spare time and ways to deal with the loneliness "
Melissa	Albany Oregon USA	" I've always wanted to live alone since I was a teenager. The ultimate escape from dysfunctional family syndrome. However, I'm bored all the time. I have no t.v. because I hate t.v. Plus, I can't afford one anyways. I have a cat named Royalty, who mostly sits by the heater all day.I wish I had a video camera. Can't afford one though. Otherwise I'd film my cat playing fetch. She thinks she's a dog. It's cute. I read my Jehovah's Witness materials and look forward to their visets. I feel closer to God than ever. I just recently started building things with popsycle sticks. A fish and a star. I do vollunteer work to build job experience, so some one will hopefully want to hire me someday "
Cal	Australia	" I been living alone for 20 years. At first I though it was only a matter of time before I met someone got married even had kids but not even close. I am getting on now but even when I was younger there were no dates or any of the fun stuff. You get used to it but as I have no family or friends I wonder what would happen if I was ill or anything"
Bill	Duncan Canada	" It's been over 2 years now since my wife left me. I am feeling better, but not whole yet. I've never really liked living alone and I still don't. Thank the Lord for my dog, he's great company. But I miss the interaction and comments and conversation and just the sensation of another life that cares if you live or die. But then I've felt dead for 2 years anyway, so who cares."
mureil dimur39@hotmail.com	Montreal Canada	" I have lived alone for many years when the children first moved out I loved it now I would like some one to share my daily hobbies with or to have a good laugh with"
Tami	Alabama USA	" I lived alone since I was 16 not really alone but felt alone when my dad died to me it's a horrible feeling. Then my mom met a wonderful man and you can never replace a father but you could get close to it and when she met Arthur Smit is was the closest thing I had ever felt again to a father.... "
Sergio Burns	Scotland	" Writer researching loneliness at Christmas would like to speak with anyone who has experienced this, or will do in the future. Looking to contact all ages, and looking to speak to people who have been in this situation for whatever reason. Can be contacted at sergiob1@usa.com ) or if you have any ideas please let me know. I am willing to talk with people and take advice "
GG	USA Northern, Az	" I was married for 37 years to a tyrant (my wife). (Other than that, she has many redeaming qualities!) Now, I am alone, and likely will remain that way. Reading Richard Proenneke's biography of self-suffiency in Alaska for 30+ years was alot of my inspiration. I like people, but I have interests that are curtailed by hanging around others: being a musician, etc. I have been at this for about 6 months. I sometimes get lonely, but I love the freedom. So far, my advice to those struggling with loneliness is to stay busy. If you have hobbies, or jobs that keep you out of too much introspection, I think you (and I) can do very well. Since I have no choice, I'm going to give it my best shot! May God bless all of you! Too bad we don't know each other! lol! GG "
Mary	USA	" I am living alone. I've been living alone for about 7 months now. I left my husband back in June of 2004 to live with my mom and start a new life over again. I went through a lot of conflicting emotions in the beginning. I missed having a relationship at first. Then I started looking at other couple's and families and saying yeah he is probably cheating on her. I have 2 kids. So it is sort of difficult to be without the last piece of the puzzle which I considered the head of the household. I am now mommy and daddy. but sometimes I just want to be a young woman. It is very rare that I let a guy into my circle where I start to actually care about him. But when it does happen. I seem to always choose the wrong guy. I feel like I always need a man. If one is not available then I am calling on another to fill the empty space within. God forbid when nobody is available. I require alot of attention and care. I am very needy right now. I hate myself for my life choices and I have nobody else to blame but myself. I am very attractive and I get approached by different guys on a daily basis. I still do not meet the kind of guy that I would even consider trying to get into a relationship. I don't even give them the time of day. I sometimes try to convince myself that I am happy alone. but deep down inside, I want a man. I feel that I need a man. But I am so picky that I cannot find one that is good enough for me. When I say good enough. I mean a true individual that just doesn't want to have sex. I always meet guys who don't give a ^&*$% about me as a person and only just initially want to have sex. I want someone who wants to get to know me and love me. I have married men who chase me and that is such a major turn off. A married man ONLY WANTS TO HAVE SEX. What more can he want from you anyway. HE'S MARRIED. any how I am once again a young lady that needs plenty of love and attention. I feel alone. But i am definitely better off without my ex husband who I catered to and treated like a king , who in turn betrayed me in the worst sense possible. I do want a man but not just any man. I do not like being alone. But I do know that I need to love myself and accept my circumstance before i can attract the right type of man into my world. Thanks for listening."
Max;s Place It's New Years Eve & I'm alone.		" I could've gone to to a couple of places, but, not to anyplace that I would really look forward to going to, if you know what I mean. I have a book to read I get over a 100 tv channels and I'm well stocked with beer. I'll probably be asleep when the clock hits 2006, oh well, my life won't be any worse or better for it. I talked to a good friend of mine and he says he's got to go to his mother-in laws tonite and he does'nt want to go. Guess I'm better off then he is. Anyway, Everybody on this site,"HAPPY 2006 AND BEYOND!!!, "
flakjakit@hotmail.com	Victoria B.C. Canada	" Like Brian, ive posted here before and visit occasionally.. i m still " alone".. and ill be spending Christmas the same way.. my family is back home. we'll do the " web-cam " thing and its nice to see the kids ..the faces and the like.. i live in a rural type of situation.. and its where ive wanted to live all my life. id be hard pressed to think of a better place to live. i miss having someone / companion to share my life here with, however there are times and i do say a lot of them now that i really do not require "her" here with me.. i can stand my own company.. and i treat myself well.. as i would the lucky lady that would choose to be here. my own personal outlook is that for the better part of the population, we are a social type and i do believe that everything is nothing if not shared with someone you love.. just my opinion.. there will be those who disagree and thats fine.. im ok , your ok.. im alone..not lonely.. i keep myself busy and theres not a lot that i cant do alone that i couldnt do WITH someone..being alone isnt a disease as some would think... some by choice.. some by consequence.. some .. just because its them.. its what ever "mindset" you want to have. so in closing.. Merry Christmas to those who ARE alone for this Christmas season.. .. be safe "
Brian	Canada	" I posted before, and have come back from time to time and read other peoples online thoughts. Now I am 50, and never married, never wanted to be, and never understood the games people play. I have my own house, and have filled it with things that are special for me, and enjoy the time alone. I work, and teach part time at a university, and during the times that I have no classes, catch up on reading. The TV is a bore, and for all the channels, there is very little to see, hence I use only an aerial, and get 3 channels, more than enough!!!! the word "alone" is so scary for so many people, and I wonder is that why so many stay in relationships, when in truth they would be better off alone. One has to know ones own self to enjoy being alone. Meaning what? I live in a rural setting, but am close to a small town, and have neighbours not to far away. For me this is perfect. For others complete solitude is their choice. On public TV, they have shown a fellow (now passed away) who chose to live in Alaska, alone, and well away from other people. He did this, I believe, for 35 years! So to all, enjoy your time alone, enjoy your time with fellow workers and friends, but most of all enjoy your life whatever the circumstances are!!!!! "
Nate doctorbonehead@yahoo.com	Portland, ME USA	" I love it. It's a catch-22 though...I have a daughter that I see on the weekends and my ex-wife (who has been married already two times!) finally met a sugar daddy! Hwe has a boat! He drives a Lexus SUV! My daughter even said she got a necklace the other day! Yeah! I'm so happy. I tried the traditional route and it didnt work. I like football, pot, beer, music (Im in a few bands), I love sex and women. Now I can do what I want minus the strees of living with that witch! I hang with my buds, go to a few orgies, go to the gym.....I do what I want. Let this moron deal with the insane ex! Yesssssss. I win!, "
Willy willywilliford@hotmail.com	Jasper,Tx. USA	" Divorced after 28 years, living alone was frightening at first. In fact I didn't get along very well. My hair was falling out, I didn't like being in my apartment, I would stroll the aisles of Wal-Mart to keep from going home. Things are better now six months later. I have been trying the Internet Dating business with very limited success. I think I was so lonely, even though I tried to hide it, that I scared ladies away. I am 49 and I think the women my age are a lot smarter than the girls were the last time I dated, 30 years ago. I seem to get better every day, even to the point of looking forward to going home and doing whatever I want--whenever I want "
Jeff	Mid West USA	" Living alone brings about a kind of ownership of self "
Bob bobnoyola@hotmail.com	Inland Empire USA	" I have found that once the dust settles, living alone is not all that bad, I was married for 25 plus years to a wonderful woman, we thru the years lost respect and trust for each other, sad as it is to say I will forever wonder what if and why? Moving forward at times has been tuff, it only makes me stronger each and every day. my advice to all of you is to remain busy, stay focused on your dreams, someone will come into your life for all the right reasons, I have grown up and now I fully understand my purpose on this planet, it is sad that it took such a great lesson to figure it all out. Here I am moving forward....."
Claudia	Germany	" I just recently became a widow and I truly find myself like alone on this planet. i feel isolated and just have no fun in life anymore. I know time is a healer and I hope I start healing soon or get used to being alone."
tim timjyinster@gmail.com	shaftesbury UK	" good reading...cute tune "
quintar quintar_51@yahoo.com	Toronto Canada	" I agree with the general opinion that living alone is good, yet it's tough not having someone to talk to. I've lived alone for a year, then was in a relationship for 7 months, now I'm alone again. It is tough always doing stuff with yourself... that's how people develop imaginary friends :) I think that it's good to communicate with other people who live alone... just to have someone to talk to. I really don't want to die alone, but at the same time, I won't stay with someone just for the sake of company.."
Victoria	Scotland	" I openly admit that there are good things about living alone - I don't have someone else to tidy up after; I can eat when I want; I can choose what telly I want to watch; I have less laundry to do; I can run to my own schedule (if I want to work late at the office, it doesn't matter). That's just the problem though - IT DOESN'T MATTER. I miss having someone to care and worry about me. If anything happened to me, the first pointer would be that I hadn't turned up to work for a while. That thought kind of depresses me"
julianne baby_juliit@yahoo.com	manila philippines	" I'm a student writer at our publication . I write at the feature section AND OUR TOPIC FOR DECEMBER ISSUE IS ABOUT THE LONELY PEOPLE DURING CHRISTMAS I hope someone can e-mail me the effects of this loneliness in your psychological aspect, in your attitude, in your being or simple you as a person "
Edie	Boston USA	" I have been living alone, on and off, for about 8 years. Right now, after several failed relationships (none of which were live-in), I think that I will die from loneliness. For the first 4 years I was alone, it was fine, I was happy. But at some point I got tired of having to self-levitate all the time--no one to talk to in bed, no one to hang out with on Sunday mornings, no one to help me with the house and the yard, no one to take me to the doctor when I'm sick. I am trying to meet people, but it's hard, since I live alone, work at home, and have no children. I do get out every day, but there are plenty of days when I am aware that if I was passed out on my kitchen floor, no one would find me for days. It's so depressing. So, I hate it. I like my space when I am with someone in a romantic relationship, but this is way too much space for way too long. I don't know how I'll ever feel okay about it "
Joanne joannekwok@kol.co.nz	Wellington New Zealand	"I've been living alone for 7 months and am loving it. Before coming back to NZ to live I worked and traveled for 10 years. I'm very independent and stuck in my ways. I've had several long term relationships, but have decided there is no point living with someone unless they are the absolute perfect person. I love being around people and enjoy an active social life. However, I do enjoy my own space, being able to do things whenever I want, cook whatever I want, have full control of he television/stereo/computer/telephone etc. I'm extremely neat, so to have someone around who wasn't as neat would just drive me nuts. I've been thinking that if I do eventually meet the "right" person, I think that I'd prefer living in seperate homes. It would be exciting to have somewhere else to go.... Anyway, those are just my thoughts "
sam	Canada	"Been married twice and lived alone more than being in a permanent relationship. What scares me more than living alone is living with someone whom I cannot get along with. Advise - have lots of family and friends for support but don't live with them"
Diana	Fayetteville USA	" I will be living alone in a few days he is packing. I have never lived alone before 13 years of marriage no children. The unknown is scary. Any advise from the seasoned living aloners?"
Carol	Midwest USA	" I met my husband 17 years ago, but have only been married 10. it is a 2nd marriage for both. i am 18 years older, but our activities, conversations, interests, were all so similar we truly never thought about the age difference. We have truly been happy 95 % of the time. When i met him i owned my house, now due to many illness and no insurance i have a mortgage. My husband is now in jail. it appears he will get a 30 year sentence at which time i will be 90. I visit him twice a week, we write several times a week. I live for his letters and i just write him about the house and our pets. But tonight it is cold and windy, my little house dog is asleep, and i don't have enough money to pay my bills. I thought maybe writing this would make me face the reality that he might never be home again --that i am alone. If i had the money to pay my bills i think i'd be alright, but right now its so overwhelming. I am disabled so certain good paying jobs are out. Thank you for listening "
carol	London UK	" I really enjoy being alone. There have been several times in my life where I have lived alone for long periods of time. What I do is I sort of prepare for it. What I mean is, ...I list all the things I can do with this time when you really NEED to be alone. For example,....I have hundreds of books to read, I am learning a new language, learning to play a new instrument, researching certain topics of interest that I have never had time to do, working on some new hobbies, go to some interesting spas I've read about etc. I know that (like the other times) it is not going to be a permanent situation. I will meet someone new again some day. But during this time, I figure I will do the things that I just won't have time to do when I am involved in a new relationship. And when that happens, I'll be a more educated and perhaps have many new experiences to share with the new person in my life"
Noor	Kab Elias Lebanon	" Well I'm a teenage girl I have never live alone but I think that will be a good experience :get in the morning, prepare my breakfast,....... "
ehab	cairo egypt	" It is something in my nature .i could not tolerate being with people for a long period. i just found myself wanting to be alone, living alone, being with myself. like a whale i go out for sometimes to breath and go back into my sea"
Dan	USA	" Like many of us, I have been married and am now single. In my case I have been married twice. In both instances I married before knowing her. So I made a "Personal Policy" not to marry before 2 years. This has saved me from making a third and forth mistake. If I feel lonely or start thinking that marriage is the greener grass I remind myself that there are worse things than being alone... like being miserable and stuck in an unhealthy and unloving relationship with legal consequences. Or going through the pain of divorce, which for me was the hardest thing I've done. So for me, it's about attitude, gratitude, and seeing through the glass clearly. If the divorce rate is 50% I sometimes wonder how many of married half are happily married. Most of the married guys I know are less happy than I am. I like living without the games, betrayal, and resentment "
Susan	Baltimore	" Here it is 9:30 Sunday night and I am sitting here thinking how sad I am to be alone. Not to just be alone but to realize that I have to be totally responsible for myself in all measures of my life and I get scared at times. I could pick up the phone and talk to someone but the missing link is the person who use to be here and left. I got so dependent on him that I took for granted he would always be here for me. It's like being hit with a brick.. One day here, next day gone and fear enters in. I found the first year without him to be almost unbearable but going into my 2nd year I am managing much better. We use to have so much fun, always going somewhere and the days were filled with laughter. I get irritated at times to be constantly surrounded by people who have someone else to love and to depend on. It just blows my mind as I think I am a pretty nice person that I am ALONE. I don't like that word as it represents isolation. Fortunately I do have a life whereby I keep busy and get involved in things and have many a good day. Good wishes to all; goodnight."
Linda	Texas	" I have been living alone for 7 years, and I find that I really like the solitude and serenity of being alone. I think everyone needs alone times...some more than others. As for ME...I feel free to come and go as I please, I'm in control of all my remotes, eat when I want (or don't want). My creative side comes out easily being alone also."
Linda	California	" I was married for 16 years and always felt alone and misunderstood! Now I've been divorced for over a year and I've never been happier. I do what I want - cook, eat, clean, when I want - visit with who I want - and avoid who I want! I've always been a loner, my hobbies are all solo things - art, dressage, writing, where as my ex couldn't stand to be alone always had to have people around to entertain him. He also didn't have a shred of imagination or a creative bone in his body! He just waited for somebody to tell him what he should do next, did whatever everyone else was doing, or did the same things over and over again. I know I'm different, I like silence! and if I want to have a fun conversation the homeless guy down the street or my neighbor's cat are always up for an interesting chat! (LOL! only half kidding, my neighbor doesn't have a cat) I don't sneak around and hide from life, there's just too many interesting things going on, if your open and friendly the world will be too. Axe murderers are a rare breed, the rest are just people. Just don't make the mistake of thinking it's the world's responsibility to take care of you and entertain you, its your's and your's alone single or not. "
Kate	Australia	" I read posts on this site about people living alone for months, even years. I have only been living alone for 4 days and I can't stand it. I think it would be very easy to live alone if I had friends who cared to call me (not just me calling them all the time) or even just someone who I had a decent conversation with. I am a university student but despite subject related questions I hardly say a word all day, not because I choose not too, because the only person I really have to talk to is myself!! :) My husband (ex-husband?) has left me, I agree with what someone said earlier about my sadness being more a grievance of a lost relationship more than actually living alone. I really hate living alone, it is too quiet. There is only one thing I like about living alone is not having to cook for anyone but myself. But gee I wish I could talk to someone, they say talking to yourself is the first sign of madness, I say it is an obvious sign of loneliness/boredom. Living alone is so boring, I really can't take it, but I have no choice, I just hope in time that I will get used to it"
Maxs Place	Pennsylvania	" Flackjacket has it right. I just turned 50. My sister is on her 3rd marriage in 10 yrs. She told me in her last marriage, she felt like she was alone all the time. She married because she did'nt want to be alone and look what happened. I am considered attractive and intelligent. I've never been married, but had a few relationships. I find getting together with friends that I've kept to be enough, besides who knows, if I ever get hitched, maybe I'll yearn for the single days. Like they say, ''Most people want what they do'nt have''. The other mans grass is always greener,etcc, etc...Live for the Moment!"
chichi	McCook United States	" I have been living alone for most of the past eleven years. It is nice being able to come and go as I want, but I do miss having someone to talk to. If not for the people I talk to at work, I would sometimes go days with out talking to another person"
flakjakit flakjakit@hotmail.com	Victoria..B.C. Canada	" heh.. way to go Mark.. like your "Pink Floyd" comment... comfortably numb... been there . cant count the times.. however.. dont give up.. never give up, never give up , never give up the ship!!... ive have been gutkicked by the best of them.. and i still believe in love and there IS someone out there.. ya just gotta believe.. yes.. even after the bomb lands and the shell shock wears off.. shake yourself off and get back in the fight.. if its worth having and you want it bad enough... quit looking for it.. itll find you.. just when you least expect it and from someone youd least expect it from.. i live alone, have been for a year now... well actually longer but im giving my self the bennefit of the doubt... i did for some 12 years.. and like you got numb .. till i was ready to love myself and understood the the world is full of givers and takers.. ya just have to find the balance between the two.. shes out there.. how doesn that saying go? " if we should live to be 100, may i live till im 99.. so i wont have to live a day without you"... somethng like that.. i have many days AND nights when a bit of human kindness would have been nice.. but id rather spend my life alone than waste my time and hers if it were wrong.. leave you with the truth than love you in a lie!!.. i look out my window and see the woman whos lost her husband last year to cancer.. shes alone.. the man across the street, broke it off with his partner.. hes alone. the woman next to him.. shes alone.. and all of these "lonlies" are over 55... as i am... so i dont feel like i have a disease as many of the " togethers " would seem to see it. it is by choice.. till someone comes my way to change my feeling towards living alone... be safe.. DOn,"
mark numb1953@yahoo.net	valley center usa	" 3 failed marriages 6yr 5yr 5month i'm 52 and comfortably numb .. i gave up on dual happiness 3 or 4 yrs ago .. i spend my weekends surrounded by grandkids .. i sure miss having a lover and a partner but don't miss fighting being lied too and cheated on and trying to please someone or cater to there every need .. like marriage being single has just as many good parts as bad ... if only i could find a perfect match but like i said i've pretty much given up "
Linda	Greensboro, NC USA	" It's wonderful not to have a man on your heels, criticizing every move you make. The most wonderful thing in the world is to be able to drink a glass of water when you're thirsty or eat when you're hungry and not be criticized. Know a woman with a retired husband? If you do, she'll tell you that the husband is telling her how to do everything she's been doing on her own for years, but since he's retired, everything she does is wrong and he has to tell her the "right" way to do it. I am grateful for every day. I don't need a man to harass and criticize me 24/7. It's better to live a modest lifestyle on my own than to live a high-end lifestyle dependent on a hypercritical and abusive husband. Most of the things people think they want are not necessities. When we learn the difference between desires and needs, we learn to live on less and enjoy it. When we live within our means, we empower ourselves."
Jana janastratizar@yahoo.ca	Toronto Canada	" I am 36, working female, divorced for about 10 years and have been living alone ever since. I like it but I also hate it. I have learned to dine alone and do things that interest me, cultural things, films, belonging to groups so when I come home, I don't think too much about my loneliness. I try to keep many friends but not too many of them share my interests in culture or travel. I travel alone too. Shop alone, walk alone, jog alone. Occasionally I share a friendly smile. I do feel isolated at times as I see persons without my gregarious, social and fun personality shacked up or married "
Amanda	Lyle US	" I love living alone. I am 19 years old and have lived alone ever since I graduated High School 2 years ago. I am moving to a new complex, and the hardest thing about it is they won't allow my best friend (cat, Charlie) to come along. He used to keep me from being scared. I know- I sound stupid, but when you are alone it's amazing who you find yourself talking to! I can't exactly talk to (or pet) a fish now can I?"
shady shadys9901@yahoo.com	easley USA	" Death would be a welcomed vacation "
Lisa lavona@wachsco.com	buffalo grove IIlinois usa	" i am 36 yrs old and i have been single for the past 10 years, I have been living with my parents all this time and i dont have my own room or closet because i have 3 brothers living at home too and the home is small for all of us, I finally bought my first condo and never lived alone and i am nervous!!! my parents live not even 1 minute away and the people in the building they are older people but very nice, they don't allow pets! i remodeled the condo and it looks great finally its finished and i am planning to move in 2 weeks after vacation, can someone give me some advice please!!!! "
Nancy nperk10195@hotmail.com	Oak Ridge USA	" I have lived alone for twenty five years. The only part I hate about it is that my neighbors see me as a person whom they (husband and wife teams) can push around. I have lived successfully around the world including the Middle East and didn't have the paranoia that I have now. Eating alone in a restaurant, going to a movie alone, shopping and other solitary activities are mostly ok but the people who try and take advantage of a woman who is alone are numerous. We don't even want to talk about the car mechanics who "see you coming." The married women all seem to think they can push me around too. I am a teacher and when I came home when I was married, I could tell my husband this and that and he would support me by saying "you aren't a public servant so these people can't call you and make demands on your home time. What a relief. Now, they call, email and send notes. I hate this. I wish I could sell my house and run away. Better still, I wish I could find a friend who wants to share my house with me. I want to buy a motor home and travel but not alone. All my siblings are married and they take turns stealing things from my house that belonged to my mom. They have their husbands to back them up so they keep doing it. I'm feeling victimized......."
best	anaheim USA	*" I love being alone, however, friends sometimes think i am gay/ or dislike women. I hate when they start to attack me because they think being alone is abnormal."*
Carol	Boston USA	" Well right now I absolutely HATE living alone. And I always thought I would like it because I'm a loner but I have never felt so lonely and unhappy and lost in my whole life. I just moved here six weeks ago - I separated from my husband of 32 years (I am 53), leaving my two older kids (25 and 27) to live in the house with him. I decided that I needed to move out to find myself, rather than keep the house and have him go. The last few years for us have been loveless and sad and depressing and I felt that was the best for both of us. I don't regret leaving him but I don't like living alone at all. We had a relationship such that we could both pretty much come and go as we please so I already had space and plenty of alone time when I wanted it. This is different. It is so empty and unhappy here and it's not like I don't live in a very nice place. I don't have a job yet - I stayed home with 'the kids' for years. Maybe that will help although I'm scared to get out there because my skills are so old. I wake up in the morning and say is this it? Is this all there is? I walk around in a daze, I clean every so often, do laundry once a week, sit at the computer a lot, I hardly eat or cook - for what or who? - and I drink Jack Daniels whenever I can. I do have friends but I am so unhappy that I feel I burden them with my depression when I'm with them so I ignore their calls and make excuses why I can't go out. I have a special man friend who I was seeing toward the end of it all whom I dearly love and enjoy but he hardly comes around. I would enjoy him more and be much happier if he would be here but he is trying to find himself, too. Aaaah I don't know. Sorry to have babbled so much. But the bottom line is that I HATE being alone and my dream is to find someone who will truly love me and I eventually want to make a nice home with this special guy and NOT live by myself. "
michael liquerdemalt@hotmail.com	burnaby canada	" first and for most you have to learn to like yourself, once you have accomplished that then things really do get better. i still walk in the door and say " honey i'am home " but no one is there. it just gets better with time and you know living alone really isn't that bad. i don't answer to anyone but myself and yes sometimes it's lonely but hey, i do what i want when i want and with whoever i want. just learn to like yourself and the pieces just fall into place. enjoy life and love it cause we are not here for a long time but just a good time "
flakjakit flakjakit@hotmail.com	VIC canada	" ive been reading the comments stated here and have come to the conclusion the the human being is terribly abusive, uncultured, assumingindividual!!.. just to name a few..no to exclude, disrespectful .. blabla..!!.. i mean if you want to have someone in your life for ANY length of time there are certain parameters that have to be met.. its no wonder that we are living alone.. i do realize the after a time living with the same person, be it male of female, commonality sets in .. in the relationship, in the sex, in the workings of the family, if that be the case... and you always hurt the one you love... cause they are the closest to you.. and for what ever the reason, we figure they deserve it!.. however when the shoes on the other foot... its " hey, what the hell is wrong with you?"... what did i do.?.. we've ALL played that role... and hey Steve, ive burnt water!!,,, don't feel bad.. i like the solitude of the aloneness, its nice not having to account for yourself... but why should you?... why should you be " expected " to be accountable for anything but your OWN life... its called KARMA.. taking responsibility for the who / what / where/ why/ and how... of you... if you take responsibility for someone elses life and travels... its called " co-dependency"... every one for themselves.. and no, that doesn't mean..cutting yourself off from everything thats going on but being part of things and contributing.. constructively.. as far as im concerned when the honesty dies, then the REAL communication stops... when the fun stops its time to go... if you are not honest with yourself and everyone else in your life.. then it becomes a lie.. for life..! and then you become resentful to you and everyone else cause your lieing to them and you.. hence undirected anger... and sooner than you can say " what the........." your living alone! heh! and burning water..! in order to inderstand why we live alone i truely believe that you have to have lived with.... someone.. not just your cat or dog!.. you have to see how people work and what you can do for/ with them in order to make it or break it.. not just what you can get away with.. im 56 going on a hundred somedays..and yet mentally i feel 30... however... that doesnt make me more desirable to women... nor does it make me more apt to live alone.. it just makes me me..just like the rest of us reading these posts... and comparing notes.. we're alone because .. thats all... just because.. and that changes when we make that " choice" and it is nothing more that just that .. a choice to change our lives and become one with another.. not two! one! and then the work begins again.. the nights are long sometimes and what is life without sharing.. you can have it all and it means nothing without having someone to share it with.. be it a sunset.. a bottle of wine.. good conversation or the phone bill!.. i like the idea of living with.. however for now.. thats not happening.. for me.. thousands of hearts being borken by the minute .. however your is special cause its you.. and by all means grieve!!.. and do a damn good job of it!!. you dont want to have that dragging behind you when the next one comes into your life... cry swear hate what ever it takes .. let it out and let it go.... and in order to move on.. FORGIVE!!... i know .. youd rather die... then so be it but until you forgive everyone involved ( that means YOU TOO) youll be clutching on to threads that will tie you to your past AND THEM@... and you dont want that do you??.. .. but in closing id like everyone to listen to a song that ... (and pardon the plug.. but i couldnt have writen it better my self... ) .. by Keith Urban called........ " youll think of me "... d/l off winMX or what have you and give a listen.. it fits my burden like a shoe!!.. Cya later and be safe..."
Max	Guadalajara Mexico	" Hello I really loved all your posts. I just started to live alone, my girlfriend and I just got separated, we have a small 3 year old beautiful son, and we never got married. I just started living by myself and i feel great, but I miss my son, I do not miss her, I think in the long run this is better for us, not for our son. I feel great being alone, I always loved to have my space, and could not have that with my ex, I believe I will be able to achieve many goals that I have living by my own, I am 25 now, and my dream is to build my own house and live healthy, and have my son living with me someday. Sometimes it hurts to think of these 5 years went by, and i really do not have memory of real good times, it was mostly fights, I guess we get very attached to our mate, and we really forget the stuff that really matters to us. I know there was no love, it was mostly insecurity on both sides, I pray for both to find our spot in life, and that our son is happy."
Michelle cornish100@hotmail.com	.	" I love living alone and I think it's a shame when people don't appreciate the full pleasure of it. I have a full life and work full-time (regrettably). Living alone gives me the space to be with me and to not have to talk to anyone if I don't want to. I have lived with people (as lovers and friends) and my choice would always be to live alone. I come and go as I choose, I clean when I want etc etc. I also have the bed to myself (apart from when I choose not to!). There are so many advantages to living alone. I can also appreciate living with people, this too has its good moments. It's all about where you are in your life, how comfortable you are with your choices and how you feel about yourself. Relish it!, "
Steve steve_adair@shaw.ca	Richmond BC Canada	" For the first time in my life, I am facing the prospect. Married at 18, split up at 54 (! ) Living common law since then 'till now, and now that's going sideways. Facing the prospect of being finally on my own. Looking forward to it? Don't know. My kids figure it's the best thing for me. Perhaps they are right. Still it terrifies me! Fear of the unknown! How do you fry a shirt, fold an egg..er.. I mean fold a shirt, fry an egg?! I'm useless domestically. Good luck to all those similarly inflicted :-) Cheers and good luck!, "
Vic	Chicago usa	"I am 43 yoa and have never lived alone from my parents home to the military to a 20 year marriage. I find what a change you have to do from reorganizing your life which I am finding hard to do to finding new friends Living alone sucks for now but hopefully I can get past the rough spots. I found Vic's story from Canada to be very touching"
flakjakit flakjakit@hotmail.com	VIC canada	" Married at 20..WOW!... 3 kids .. divorced at 32.. had 3 relationships then decided to dig in and let it all go by.. after 2 serious back to back relationships that failed, i then spent 12 years alone.. no female companionship at all.. no female anything at all.. i want to make sure that the next time id really WANT IT.. id have a clear mind and soul.. a full glass and all the other stuff that makes us non- co- dependent.. i then met a lady from out here and chatted with her every night for 5 months every night.. ( free l/d) i then packed up and left my home of 52 years. all the doors were open and it was the right thing to do.. we met and fell in love . after a few months i bought the " ring" and set a date for the following August.. i knew of her cancer and we promised each other that if it came back we'd be there for each other.. well i crawled into bed one night and she said " i dont want to get married". ya........... ok. i didnt feel that it was the time to discuss it and i left .. i returned the next day and she said take the rings back.. we talked/ i talked/ she listened.. and i left.. took the rings back and moved out.. she was nice enought to help me too... ( i still wonder about that)... she was in tears when she drove away.. i didnt see her but for one time .. a week later for lunch.. still no reason for our break up.. she never did tell me.. i called her once just before xmas 2004 and told her that id been having gut feelings about her being " ill " again.. she said" im fine, hanging in there"... after new years i found her in the " obits" .. dont ask!... i had a gut feeling!. if there were ever a hopless moment in my life it was then! i called her brother and talked for a while that night.. and found that she had been cremated and where her last resting place was.. i got in the car and drove there and it wasn't a good night for me.. i realixe now what she had done.. given me my freedom back so that i would not be burdened with her and her death... so she knew that night when she told me it was off.. i met another woman that lived a good distance away from me and we settled in with a l/d " thing.. we did a lot .. and i mean a LOT of talking each night on the phone and pc.. we drove back and forth for months.. and it was getting to her.. i wanted her to move in with me .. however.. she wasn't ready.. so i waited... and waited.. and and and.. time took its toll on us and she decided to start dating where she lived...as the plot thickens.. she and i have been leaving each other for months... initially i broke up with her last xmas.. and we have still been talking about "us" even thought shes living with him...i have created my own closure with this in order to retain my sanity.. however she still wants me in her life.. sending me e-mails .. phone calls to make sure im ok ( what with me living alone)... anyway... i still love her and i know there is still that certain " something" that shes not getting from him... so ive chosen to be alone again.. i miss the company of her.. among a number of other things.. however .. since xmas of last year... ive lost my X g/f.. my X fiancée... and my 14 year old best friend.. Button.. my cat.. that was the hardest day of my life!!... so i don't think the shrinks would advise me to be/ spend a lot of time alone... but it doesn't bother me.. anymore.. i sleep well , eat.. go out.. do housework.. have an active mind...but being a human.. and being the sociable mammals that we are... i DO miss the tenderness of a companion.. it gets quiet here sometimes.. too quiet .. when you can actually HEAR yourself think.. i guess it happens to us all.. like the saying goes... " hes alone in a crowd"...i don't want to spend the rest of my life alone.. Button was a great friend and companion however you can only kiss your cat so many times!!.. just ain't the same... and please do think im in the " pitty-pot"... not at all.. nor am i lonely.. however i AM alone... and i don't like being alone.. and being a Leo alone... '
Susan sue2u1972@hotmail.com	Anchorage USA	" I've been without a significant other for about 5 months now. It has it's up's and down's. The hardest thing for me at first was learning how to sleep alone at first. Then most nights I discovered I liked it. I'm a really light sleeper and movement or noise would wake me up. I still don't sleep very well, but at least I have the bed to myself. I think for the most part I like to be alone and I can do what I want. But I really miss the intimacy at times. Having someone to snuggle with or make love to, when the mood hit. I guess I feel like some of the women here who's lives have revolved around there men. I used to work very hard at trying to make my mate happy. I'm pretty laid back and I would usually go along with whatever he would want to do. I'm not totally alone. I have my friends and family and my daughter. Who still lives at home. I have gone through 3 major relationships the last one I married then divorced. And have had dated about a dozen other men. It is hard to find someone you truly can love and trust. I haven't had very good luck with love. I'm about to turn 33 y/o and I am a large (but attractive I think) woman. SO it is doubly hard to get a man to give me a second look, let alone fall in love with me. I think that is the fate with all overweight people that "we" have to work harder to be with someone to make up for our physical appearance. Pretty messed up, eh? Well, in a society where everything is based on materialism and beauty "we" don't have much of a choice. Hurrah to all those people out there who are not doormats! I wish I could say I have joined the ranks. I've wisened up a bit, but well, like most everything else in my life i just have to learn things the hard way. Possibly, my biggest obstacle for being someone is that I don't love myself. If your not happy how can you make someone else happy? Well, even you are depressed (which I am half of the time) you still deserve to be respected and loved. Everyone deserves to be loved. And I've done some pretty messed up things. And I've had some messed up things happen to me. Does it all balance out? I don't know. What I do know is live and learn. Everyone tells me I would be happier if I was thinner. And that may be true. But it is a lot easier to gain weight than lose it. I'll get there someday I hope. But until then, I hope that I will find someone to love who will love me back. I think that when and if that happens I might still like to live alone, but have him spend the night on occasion. It's always nice to know that you can send 'em home when you want. :), '
Chris c-ramsay@shaw.ca	North Vancouver Canada	" I am having hard time being without someone to love, hold, treasure, and be intimate with. I am almost 36 years old and no one to share my life with. I have two kids I see regularly but have no-one to love. I am hopeful romantic but dating services are too expensive for men. Especially, when you have tried a lot of them with little success. I am tired of being single with no one I can share with."
Steve	Colorado Springs	" Yogibereal your note about being too harsh and shaming yourself is dead on the money my friend. WOW I am letting it go myself. it does feel great. I read in this months copy of Razor yesterday an article called The Break Up gut...or something like that...anyway talks about pepes stuck on the past and not looking to the future. You cannot change even five seconds ago why bother to try... great posts! ty "
Darkchoctaw darkchoctaw@yahoo.com	Dallas USA	" I hate it but I like it sometimes. Allow me to explain. I like having the freedom to do what I want to do when I want to do it without having to answer to anyone! I like the fact that when I need alone time, I can stay away for days without anyone bothering me. I hate that when I get past those moments when I have gathered my thoughts from being alone, and now need someone, there is no one there. Yeah I have friends, although acquaintances is a better word, but I haven't found that "friend that sticks closer than a brother" yet! I don't have a best friend and it hurts. Maybe I somehow push people away too! I am afraid to be in a relationship. First off, my family members are extremely dysfunctional. I am afraid that my potential partner would look at them and think of me as one of them. I think I am the only "Normal" person in my immediate family and that embarrasses me. What man would want to be around that? Second, I am very overweight. Although I have an attractive face, men don't like me for anything other than friendships. Maybe its peer pressure for men to show their friends their size 6 girlfriend! I don't want a man who did not like me for who I am as a big girl! I don't want a man who thinks fat women are weak and will do anything to get and keep a man either. So I appear to be stuck out. Third, and most important of all, I have herpes. As of right now, there is no cure. However, this STD is no more than a nuisance. I rarely ever get any of the blisters reported by persons with HSV-1 or HSV-2. That is what really hurts me. Why did I get this disease that is uncurable and I don't even suffer from the virus physically? I only suffer physiologically- especially when I have to tell the men who are interested in me that I have it- only to be turned down. Fourth, my aunt and my father molested me when I was younger and I believe he was the one who gave me this disease! I did not choose my family members, I did not choose my past afflictions, I also do not choose to be alone. I finally began to trust people and then people's stupidity hurt me. I am forgiving, but I am tired of always being the one to make the effort to keep a friendship alive. I need someone who will make every effort to love me that I am making to love them!! I am alone but not always lonely. Music, food, driving, and the outdoors help take my thoughts away from reality-- and I do a lot of each of those. I grew up hating people and thinking that people are mean. But now I know a lot better! I need people, but genuine people are hard to find. I guess you have to filter through a lot of "bad" before you finally reach even one "good". But how much longer do I have to wait for a real man? And if I am never to have a man due to my affliction, then how much longer must I wait for just one good, true, close, honest best friend? My heart, my soul, my entire being aches for real friendship. God, Bless Me!! I am not worthy, but I know it is your will!!, "
Yogibereal yogibereal@yahoo.com	Chicago	" I was married for 16 years and lonely for the last 3 with no hope that my spouse was really interested in being with me. I finally left my marriage as I figured that if I was going to be lonely with someone I would much prefer to be by myself...I am so much happier now that I am alone (all one)I feel whole again...I feel like there are so many possibilities, so many people to meet to say hi to to reach out to...I would encourage you all to check out this movie; "what the bleep do we know"...I think all the problems in the world are a result of our judging ourselves too harshly...we do put so much guilt and shame on ourselves...Why ? because we are taught this from an early age...I have be celibate for 4 years now...I am 38, earn in the top 1% of wage earners and am fit (work out 4-5x /week). I have been approached by many women at the gym but feel that I am so happy with myself why bother screwing that up. I don't share the loneliness that you all talk about...I did when I was married though Check out this movie and let me know your thought...KEEP on ROCKING THE FREE WORLD.."
Cathi Farrell	Quispamsis, NB Canada	" 10 years! Celibate, and ambivalent about it. Sexual intimacy aside, I miss having someone to talk to about all the trivial impedimenta that we all tolerate. The kids--now grown-- are great, but it's not the same. Towards the End, I suppose, I didn't have that luxury either, but I still miss having another adult who cares about me. Sigh. I adore being a grandmother, but--at 53--is that all there's going to be? "
Cara	Santa Barbara US of A	"Blues1970 i feel the same exact way"
Blues1970 blues1970@dodo.co.au	Melbourne Australia	" I always seemed to be alone al my life. No by choice of course. I don't look forward to weekends because I know I will end up doing nothing at all. Except clean the house do the shopping. I don't want to be alone anymore. I look forward to Mondays so I can have something to do at work. I mean how sad is that...I don't know what to do anymore. "
Steve semorgan08@adelphia.net	.	" Just an update...I am on my 23rd month alone. Just finished a 46 hour work week. Now the weekend...hhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm...Well, my 9 year old is going to be here but I have worked nights for the past few weeks so I am sleepy now but wont be tonight. Maybe I'll stay up all day...lol...Being up at night is different...more quiet with time for thoughts to run rampant...hehe... But fortunately I get to go back to a day shift starting next week. I check the site frequently for updates and it's almost like having friends. Thanks to all. Steve "
Carey	Tampa USA	" I am a 45 yr. old man who has lived most of my life alone and have never been in a relationship. During many years of therapy, I learned to enjoy my own company. I had a cat, but he died last year. I took long trips by myself during summer months and loved it. Now I've lost 146 pounds, which has given me hope about being in a relationship one day. And guess what? HOPE HURTS! Everyone I know is telling me how great I look and congratulating me on my weight loss. I feel great about that too. But living alone really hurts again, because now I have hope about being in a relationship...AND I WANT IT NOW!!! What does all this mean? BACK TO WORK ON MYSELF AGAIN AND BACK TO THERAPY I GO! Life is wonderful and life sucks all at the same time. And now I can't use food to dampen my feelings. But I'm glad I found this site. We loners gotta hang together!
Kevin tcbin2004@sbcglobal.net	Milwaukee USA	" I am 31 years old and divorced. I don't get to see my daughters anymore. I last saw them when they were 8 and 9. That was almost 5 years ago. Since then I have moved around this country from Texas to Baltimore and finding myself back in Wisconsin. I have been in and out of relationships my whole life and for some reason only found women that felt the need to hurt me and make me feel like I am not allowed to be loved. For the past year I have lived with my mom just because she is as lonely as I am. My sister who was 34 and my mother's only daughter of 4 children just recently passed away, so moving in with my mom was a good thing. She needed someone to talk to as much as I did. My father passed away in 1992, my brother, who is 32 lives in Baltimore and my oldest brother who is 38 lives only blocks away. The brother in Baltimore calls a couple times a month, The brother who lives blocks away only calls when he needs something. If he doesn't need anything he never calls. We have to force him to come over for holidays. Even then he finds reasons not to come. Living with my mom gives me some companionship, but having someone my age to talk to or even watch a movie with would be fulfilling to me. I often see couples holding hands when I am out going somewhere or doing something. I often see myself loathing them because they have each other and I have nobody. It wouldn't be so bad if I was a jerk or a bad man that treated women poorly. But in fact I am alot like my father was. I am old fashioned. I love treating women like a lady, always showing and telling them how much I care about them. They just never return it. I am not like woody allen ugly either, so there is no obvious reason for my loneliness. Moving around so much, I have no friends to talk to or go out with. My only social intake, other than my mom, is people I talk to at work. I bury myself in watching movies and listening to music. If I was suicidal, I would have killed myself years ago. But I guess the thought of someone someday walking into my life and staying keeps me going. But it gets harder everyday with my bitterness towards couples and women growing stronger everyday. All I ever wanted in my life was a family of my own. A wife, kids and even a dog...lol. I never wished to be rich and famous. I just wanted a family who loved me as much as I loved them. A wife to grow old with and become my reason for living. I hear love songs on the radio and I often change the channel or turn the radio off due to I get bothered by the thought that I don't have anyone. I see so many women stuck with men who are complete jerks and treat them badly. I REFUSE to become a mean person just to get a woman. I guess I would rather be nice and alone then bad and mistreating the one I love. Everyone has something that keeps them going everyday. Waking up next to the one they love, their job, their kids or even an interest or hobby. I guess mine is that I have the hope that someone will accidentally walk into my life and the fairy tale begins and never ends. Every morning I wake up and listen to the Shania Twain song "UP". I felt the words to that song so deeply that I made it an every morning ritual. It always seems to start my day in a good mood. I hope others can relate to my story and realize that some people are not alone by choice. Everyone has feelings that are equally easy to hurt. So next time you see a stranger on the street or even sitting by himself at a restaurant looking sad and lonely, just remember, maybe he doesn't want to be alone. Maybe he has no friends or family and truly is ALONE. A "HI" can go so very far for a person in need of feeling liked. "
Karen kalynne@valornet.com	Texas USA	"I found this website tonight. I found a lot of the comments very interesting. I live alone and enjoy it most of the time. Tonight is not one of those times. I would like to have someone to talk to. I am 53 and have lived alone off and on most of my life. I did not consider myself alone when my children were growing up but now they're grown and gone. I have four dogs and they are quite entertaining but not much on conversation. Sometimes I long for an adult human voice (I teach school) and a hug. My children are busy with their own lives and live 1000 miles away. Most of my friends are in relationships and not free to socialize. I am taking a class at the local college and enjoy the class and the studying. I've thought about volunteering or getting another job (part time). I'm not sure what the answer is. Any ideas?"
Barbara barkat@rogers.com	Newmarket Canada	" Today I didn't hear from my family. The only one to talk to was my Jack Russel Terrier, which I love dearly. But this doesn't make for humane contact. I decided to talk a walk through a beautiful path that our town takes a lot of pride with. During this beautiful walk in a wonderful warm bright day, brought me in contact with a couple of people. One was to tell me that I was walking on the bicycle path and the other was to tell me that I needed to walk on the inner lane of the walking path. None of them considered that had I walked in my proper lane, I would have tripped them with the leach . Needless, I came home very confused and frustrated that I don't have anyone to vent this complaint to. Thank you for that............... "
snolady	Northern Ontario Canada	" First of all the worst loneliness is when you feel alone and you are in a relationship. I am now 60+, recovered from brain surgery (..no not a transplant..LOL), live alone and love it. I have been married twice, in 2 other relationships. I found that, while I have a healthy self-image,my partners at the time gravitated to me because they needed healing. My family got cross with me and told me to start enjoying life and stop trying to save people from themselves. A lot of the sad lonelies think that a relationship will cure their feelings....NOT!! If you are consideribg re-entering that scene...heal yourself first so you are ready. I spend a lot of time in pogo, a game site, where you can strike up a conversation while playing games. I live in a tiny town that has active dinner theatre,a rec centre with aquafit, dance, aerobics, skating and much more. Some of us meet for coffee/muffin weekly to babble gossip,, whine about our booboos.. lol. One last note...if you really want a relationship.. learn to be happy...most are not attracted to a sad sack. GOOD Luck.. Keep Smiling!, "
Luke	UK	" I have just alone for the past two years. In general they have been the most unstable, unhappy years of my life. There have been brief periods of happiness, but in general being left alone with my own company has created nothing but despair. I have become increasingly introverted after the breakup of my last relationship, and rarely socialize. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable around other people, even my best friends. I used to be to life of the party. When you have no-one to talk to,you just bounce your thoughts around your own head and the echo keeps getting louder. I am 24 years of age and feel more like 70. I feel old before my time, I should be out having the time of my life, I should be in my peak. Instead I'd rather hide in the corner. I'm now considering a house share with some friends. Financially I'll be worse off, but emotionally I'll reap far superior dividends. I have to do this. If not the consequences do not bear thinking about "
Nancy	Marina CA	" I have been divorced 20 yrs - I was a single mom and since my daughter grew up and had her own children, she has lived with me off and on as well as I have had roommates - I am now living alone. I had hoped to of been married by now - just hadn't met the one I could fall in love with and think of marrying until 2 yrs ago - after 18 yrs! finally! BUT...the one I met, well he had been married 4 times and also had other relationships that didn't work - so now he says he enjoys being alone and not ready for a commitment. A big part of me totally understands yet a big part is so frustrated because I finally met the one I could live with and it is this man '
.	.	" Hi...I'm a man. early 60's....been married a few times....still married but chose to have separate living qtrs....and finding it very fulfilling, altho I'm finding that she isn't as fulfilled with the situation as I am and I am not as fulfilled as I would be if she were....oh well...so goes life. I chose this because it is best for my peace of mind for one thing, and for the financial thing for another believe it or not, .... its a long story like 22 years worth...but suffice it to say its best this way....at least when she tells me where to go I DO have somewhere to go other than my vehicle. I love my woman but there are our time when all I know to do is run and running is what gets me into trouble with her as she translates it as "divorcing her...when all Im doing is trying to survive her incredulousness....cant live w/out her or with her as the old saying goes....I'm an oldish Montana cowboy jus trying to get along...so long., "
Tony Perry perry04@alltel.net	morehead USA	" I live alone and I like being able to walk around the house and do what want but it gets lonely sometimes. That's all part of it when you live by yourself and I'm a student a college and I would like to talk to you but I don't know your e-mail address to be able to talk maybe you can help me by talking to me. I do what you do when you are at home alone. My name is Tony Perry and my e-mail address is perry04@alltel.net "
Brian traintyme590@msn.com	Canada	" I am about to hit the big 50, and am not in any relationship now, and quite frankly loving it! The only family close by is my elderly father, whom I see on a regular basis, and selfish as it sounds, would like to limit the time together. Too much history, but I need to let it go. I have a small house in the country, and am in the process of making it mine (after only buying it last fall) Cooking is a bit of problem, as most recipes have too much spice in them, and are for large groups, so the book offered at this web site will be what I am looking for, I hope! Alone is not a bad thing, only if a person cannot handle it though. The freedom to do what one wishes to do, without being told when and how to do it. I may have rambled a bit, but it's nice to see a site like this one, only found it this evening!!! I enjoy being alone, and when my time comes someday, I will have no regrets, no what ifs, no, if only...... Thanks for the chance to ramble "
Curly	St. Petersburg, FL USA	" I'm from up north, where my family and friends still are - my roots. I've been in FL about 8 years - I moved here with a boyfriend, we were together several years when we broke up. I moved out and lived alone, but then met someone else who became my husband, so I was never really alone. After 3 years of marriage we divorced, again I moved out but then met someone else who became my boyfriend, and again I was never really alone even though we didn't live together. This relationship was not a healthy one - it was almost emotionally abusive, I had no alone time at all. After some torment, it's finally over, and I'm living in a new place, alone, and no new relationship in sight....I'm not looking, though. Well, I wasn't looking the last time, they were just there. So, nothing is here now. Living alone is great, I can come and go as I please or not please and have no one to answer to....but I am truly alone. I have no ties here in FL anymore. The friends I did make turned out not to be friends at all (I say that my ex-husband got custody of our friends). My last boyfriend wouldn't "let" me have friends. It's hard to meet new friends when your hitting 40. It's hard to open up - I tend to keep to myself, for various reasons. It can get lonely, though. While I'm alone, I'm going to work on me - taking care of me, paying off my debt, working on my self-esteem and self-confidence, fixing what's broken, strengthening what works. I see this as a gift. The people who love me and care for me live somewhere else - here, it's just me, I need to love me and care for me. I think they call it strength. :) All in all, though, being alone has many advantages. But we need people in our lives, we need interaction, in addition to needing ourselves "
Zoe	Yorkshire UK	" I have lived alone now for 2 years and although there are days when it is great to have that freedom it does get very lonely. Its the days that are the hardest for me as I am not working. I had terrible panic attacks and depression for the last seven years and finally gave in to medication which helps so much, but now I am on sick benefit and left to fill each day on my own and its hard. I try so hard to think how to change things but having spent so much time alone I feel I have gone from super social to completely unconfident around people. I am 29 and so young minded and funloving but just dont see people . I have my boyfriend who gets annoyed I rely on seeing him for company, I guess its a pressure on someone to be your only source of comfort. I used to have lots of friends but most of them have moved to new towns and we just kind of drifted. I forget who I am these days.or who I was cos most days are tv in the day for an hour then get ready, walk to shops for some milk and come home. Nights I sit on the computer and just browse around on it really. Not the life I saw for myself ever but I guess only I can make that change and hopefully one day i will. If anyone is trying to decide whether to live alone i would say go for it as long as you have lots and lots of friends and a busy life. Thanks for giving me the chance to share my story. "
Nungi nungi_17921@rediffmail.com	Bangalore India	" I had a very depressing period with my Boyfriend. Whenever I was with him, i feel like committing suicide and when I go out of him, I will think of continuously. I was in great confusion about the life and finally decided to be alone. Firstly, i was scared. And later, I have made a goal out me. I started thinking the whole world and all the creatures as my own kids. I started loving them, helping them, being with them made me more relaxed. Till you taste something, you cannot appreciate the taste like that if you live alone and started helping people who are in need, you will just feel great out of you and surely will enjoy the life. Family is just taking care of certain people, so we put a big circle and thinking everyone is our relative, we can just enjoy the life. And also, people in the same county can make a association and have a monthly meet and can help each other in the need. Its just my suggestion. Any comments !!, "
Lonely borncntrygrl@hotmail.com	Canada	" I hate being alone. I was married for 35 yrs. when my husband died of cancer 2 yrs ago. I miss my companion and lover my best friend. I miss having someone to share and confide in. I miss our coffee's in the morning on the deck. I miss his just being in the same room. I hate cooking for one person and the lack of someone's arms around me. If I get the opportunity I will marry again because I want someone to love and their love in return "
Kerstaini	Greenville SC	" I am alone, even in crowds. I am not anti-social, just not able to fit in. I hate being alone and being lonely, but I can't end this life-long affliction. People like me at first, then eventually hate me. Even my parents hated me. Tragically, I am not suicidal. Past attempts on my life by others have (obviously) failed. It seems I am bound to walk this earth in silence, alone and in sadness."
Robert	toronto canada	" I love it. While I do have a cat, it's great to rest when you want, clean up when you want, all without someone "nattering" at you all the time. My only obligations are work, and paying my bills to the best of my ability, and after that...I belong to no man or women. How could anyone stand it with others around. They demand demand demand, and poke and prod until you go crazy. Living alone rules... "
Christy Laine ChristyLBuist@marykay.com	Greenwood, South Carolina USA	" I can't wait to start living alone! I moved out of my parents house when I was 18. I have lived with a boyfriend/ex-fiancé from then until now, 24 years old. Now I am back at my parents house while I get myself established. As sad as the break up was I am now seeing that it was for the best. Now I can truly be ME. I don't have to conform to the pressure to making someone else happy without regard to what makes me happy. I've felt lonely for a long time. The "funny" thing is that I have always been in relationships. Now that I am totally "free" I feel relieved and excited about life. I'm so ready to have my own place -just me and my two pups... pay my own bills... Join a hiking / backpacking club (for some social interaction and recreation)... Start mountain biking... I can't wait! I don't want to give up ME ever again. I know that I will enjoy having my own personal space. I believe we CHOOSE to be happy (or not). Good Luck everyone - I enjoyed reading your posts, "Tylana",
Hi	Long Island New York	"I love living alone. At 43, divorced with no kids, I see the pattern in my life: Whenever I had a boyfriend, my life and my sense of self suffered greatly, more so during my marriage. And I've been involved with great people and some not so great. Whenever there was no other person sharing my mental or physical space, whenever it was just me and my music (Alone, I hardly watch TV. It distracts me from me.), everything else in my life neatly fell into place. I mean job opportunities, my self-confidence, my perspective/outlook on life, my appearance, my health, my disposition, my finances, just everything, it all came together beautifully. At one point I even became totally debt free! The reason for this, I think, is because since I know what I'm doing when it comes to me, figuring out what someone else is doing with my heart, feelings, welfare, etc., be it boyfriend or male or female roommate, it takes all of my energy to have to focus on them. It leaves me too drained to properly care for and focus on myself as much as I need to. Although I've been told I have it backwards, I give everyone a thousand points upon meeting them. Some say I should give "0" points and let them earn them... I have to think about that one... Anyway, as I get to know them it's up to them to lose points by doing things that hurt me. When I see the points dipping, I end up putting my guard up and I don't function well in that atmosphere. That's when my world starts to slip apart. By the time they get down to, say, 400 points, that's when I ask myself: "Am I happy?" If the answer is "No", I ask myself: "Is this person toxic?" If they are, I get them out of my life. And that's even if it's a relative. Amazingly, once I make that decision, and am alone again in my house and heart, I BREATHE! I actually feel relieved! So for me, I no longer think there is something wrong with me the reason I spend so much time alone. No, living alone, I learned to like and treat myself as my own best friend. I treat myself the way I treat others and would like them to treat me. At least, I try to. I also think a part of the difficulty in meeting people is our society has few pockets where everybody grew up together... Everybody is from somewhere else these days, no matter where you go. Makes it difficult to find someone you have a lot in common with. Same sex, different sex, doesn't matter. So, I may spend my next 43 years alone as well, but as long as I have me, my country, reggae, jazz, hip-hop, pop, country and international music, everything will be fine! Today is a great day, and tomorrow will be even better! Thanks for reading this and the chance to share., I love living alone."
sinling	KL malaysia	" Quite frankly i don't like the idea of living alone. Yeah i've pictured the luxury and freedom of it in my mind from time to time but when i do end up being the only one home for an extended period of time, it gets lonely. Then i realized i like people though i may be bad with them. I've had both roommates and housemates before. I feel the idea of "co-op" style living is the best, ie having housemates. i get my own room and privacy and company is never too far away. Could i be wrong? "
Rose D littleflower_57@yahoo.com	Dublin Ohio USA	" Me again! Another week end come and gone. I did get out on Saturday to see a very old friend. And my son did come home for the week end from school (only to go out to socialize with his friends, but hey, that's a good thing). I spoke to my parents on the phone...only to hear about how old age robs you of your health, your mind, and your dignity. Wow! What a treat that was! I am 47 years old, and have raised my family, own my home, have a fairly decent job, and no one to smile or laugh with. Sorry but this living alone business SUCKS! All my life I thought I was an introverted loner.....only to find out that I am really an introverted person who needs people!!!! Go figure Me again! Another week end come and gone. I did get out on Saturday to see a very old friend. And my son did come home for the week end from school (only to go out to socialize with his friends, but hey, that's a good thing). I spoke to my parents on the phone...only to hear about how old age robs you of your health, your mind, and your dignity. Wow! What a treat that was! I am 47 years old, and have raised my family, own my home, have a fairly decent job, and no one to smile or laugh with. Sorry but this living alone business SUCKS! All my life I thought I was an introverted loner.....only to find out that I am really an introverted person who needs people!!!! Go figure "
mick mickamok@hotmail.com	Rochester USA	" I'm 43, and I've lived alone, quite contentedly, for years ... until I moved out of my hometown for the first time in my life. Feelings of loneliness and isolation overwhelmed me, and I developed a fear of being old or sick alone, or dying and having no one find me for a while. My son, I've discovered, won't be there if I need him. That makes me sad. And my mother won't be around forever. BUT, I'm making an effort to change. I've joined a book club (that only meets once a month, which seems sufficient for a loner who's tentatively seeking new friends). I attended the first of a three-part Living Alone workshop. I've contacted a Red Hat Society, which I'll probably join. I'm considering volunteer work and square dancing classes. What's difficult about living alone? When you're sick. When time stretches interminably before you, especially weekends. When the phone doesn't ring for DAYS. Having no one to come home to. (Thank goodness for my cats!) Finding out that YOU'RE the one who's been messing up the house. What's great about living alone? The same things many here have mentioned: eating what I want, when I want; sleeping when I want to; coming and going as I please; doing chores when I feel like it, vegging when I don't; and having total control over the television and computer. Best of all: wearing pajamas all day ... and going braless! I like living alone, for the most part, and I'm realizing that my recent feelings of loneliness and isolation can be changed. The negatives of living alone can be dealt with by being less of a hermit, by reaching out to others myself instead of waiting for them to come to me, and by seeking new interests and relationships in my life. I don't want to be alone when I'm old or sick. However, even couples have no guarantees. Someone has to die first-unless you die together, of course. <wink> Ladies, we do have another option. The Golden Girls. <cheesy grin>"
Doug hobart@netins.net	USA	" Know what is worse than living alone ?? Wishing you did That's why divorce is so expensive, it's worth every penny, "
Ray fr7272@hanmail.com	Seattle USA	" You aren't a child anymore. If you are really an adult, you should live alone and you have to raise the independent mentality!! Don't you think so?"
Scott scottsokay@yahoo.com	St. Paul U.S.A	" For some reason, I've always been an introvert and an underachiever. Years ago, I realized that I'm tired of living life alone, however because of my lack of social skills, the worry of having to explain to someone that I've never had a serious relationship, not knowing where to meet others that share my interests (photography, reading, bicycle riding and astronomy) and lack of places to meet others has made me somewhat discouraged. I'm 42 years old and want to start living. Last year, I finally went skydiving which gave me a high (no pun intended) for a while, but now I'm back to where I was. I still haven't given up hope, though. "
Kay	Greenville USA	" Wow...Where do I start? I guess it would be best to get these tears out of my eyes. I'm almost 30...I live alone...I hate my job...I have no friends here...I work, go home...drink or pill myself to sleep...just to start all over again. I broke up with my boyfriend this week because we see each other maybe two weekends a month since we're almost 3 hours apart and the last time he was here I begged him not to go, but he had to...which I understand, but my heart hurts and each time he leaves or I leave him, a little piece of me dies again, especially when I'm back here at this new city that I know nothing about...I've had health problems and the doctor says I'm depressed...no big surprise there...anyway...I'm a loner by nature...but I still get lonesome sometimes....a lot of the time.....I hate my life, I hate everything right now, but not everyone...just myself, and the predicament I've put myself in...my degree isn't worth the paper it's printed on, I've had more jobs than I can count...and I'm slowly pushing everyone I love away from me, just because I wanted to gain my independence, move out on my own, have my own life...well, I got what I asked for...my own place, a job, a car and a lonely heart....I don't even have cable to keep me company...just the self-help books and sad love songs on the radio...all the prozac in the world could never take this away from me...the lonliness that lives within me...that's in reality...my best friend....she never leaves me....., "
Nancy	Greenville USA	"Is the better part over?" Willie Nelson sings. Ah, not of love but life, I ask. Now 60 years old I have tried to live alone since the year 2000. The world did not end then as expected, but my world did. My husband of 36 years died - he was only 56. At first I thought, "okay, my children and four wonderful grands will keep me busy", but alas, my daughter moved with her family first to Missouri in 2001, then to The Netherlands in 2004. My son decided he no longer loves his wife; The tension in that household is unbearable. There is a man in my life whom I visit for two to three weeks at a time - he lives in Florida. This is not an answer because it keeps me from being involved in the area to which I moved (near my son, ha) several months ago. Yet, I'm afraid to get invoked with groups here; It feels so awkward and would eventually mean giving up "the man". It is difficult to function in a couples world - and it is a couples world. I don't need to interact with someone all the time, I just miss knowing there is someone else in the house. Where are the Golden Girls? I guess that's just the fantasy land of television. I work out at the gym and spend time with a couple of girl friends in the area, but I feel non-productive and useless. I worked, raised children, took care of my mother (for 15 years), and also my husband before he died. Now I'm on idle. Alone. For those of you who are able or have learned to be alone, you have my admiration and respect. But, some of us are pack animals; We need to be part of a family unit. But, for me, that part (the better part?) is over. "
Kate	Minnesota USA	" I have lived alone for about a year and a half now and am 25 years old. Man, it's different to live alone in an apartment compared to dorm life in college! In college, if you were bored, you could just go into the lounge and chat with other students at any time. Now, it's so difficult to meet new people; all that I do is work, go home, snack, watch tv, sleep and repeat every day and also work one Saturday a month. This is my first time out of my parents' house, but for some reason want to move back home (my parents are cool with this idea) because my work schedule won't allow me to study something new to improve myself to find a new job (I work until 8pm every night)...and there is NO chance for changing my schedule as they won't hire new people even though they need to desperately do so! Well, I think a change is needed for me at least. I used to like being alone but lately have been super depressed and lonely...almost like my college degree is worth nothing and I don't know what goals I want to pursue, how to do it or how to get support and meet new people...I think the first step is getting out of this horrible job (working at a call-center for auto loans), and see what other options there are for jobs that will allow me to feel useful and to give me free time to meet new people and do enjoyable things! Anyone else out there going through the same things?? I believe it's the "Quartlife Crisis". Trying to survive a cold, cloudy Minnesota winter doesn't help either! uff-dah! Now is the time to experiment with new things...if you're young like me, I think we need to get out there and do new things. If you're not married, don't have a house payment and hate your job....now is the time to change without regrets....life is too short to be doing something you hate and to remain miserable. (this is me rationalizing my possible decision to go back home, take some time off in the summer--hopefully it won't be career-suicide--and re-evaluate my life.. then maybe go back to school or experiment with other fun jobs). arrghhh.. OK I needed to vent too! I wish I was rich!! (me and everyone else in the world wish this too) hehe! bye...what are your comments/opinions???? advice??? K8
marjorie damasco abaya marjorieabaya@yahoo.com	Vigan City Philippines	" my first time to live alone in my 32 years. i have stayed in farther part of my country but only physically detached from my family. this time, i am on my own deciding what to plan and prepare on my own without worrying about other people's comments or reactions. living alone helps me find myself, the limits of my soul, my strength, and having a more vivid definition of love of liee and how to love and appreciate more those people i love and care so much. more importantly, i am at peace with myself and with my heart and this makes me feel so happy and complete"
Rose	Dublin Ohio USA	"What an interesting site. I was looking for information about living alone, when I came upon this site. I can relate to almost all who have written comments here. I am a 47 year old single woman, twice divorced and just coming out of a 4 year relationship with what I consider my "soul mate" (if there really is such a thing). He is a beautiful man that I still love and admire very much. But alas, even soul mates have problems, and he felt it better to part. I have lived sort of alone on a off during my adult years, but never truly alone until now. My youngest has left the nest and I find myself experiencing the empty nest syndrome. I work, come home, eat, do what ever I want to do, and go to bed alone. There are moments of sadness, but I think that has more to do with grieving a lost relationship that the fact that I live alone. There is the freedom of doing whatever I want, when I want (within the constraints of meeting obligations to work and extended family and friends), and there is the pleasure of not having to live up to anyone else's expectations. I have always needed alone time, even when living with others, and have always been able to find that time because I know it is vital to me. Perhaps that is why I have problems with relationships, I am not sure. The only thing I am sure of is that in either existence, alone or living with others, there are always going to be moments of loneliness, moments of unhappiness, restlessness, boredom, etc. It is part of the human condition never to be really satisfied. We are all striving to have more, be more, experience more. I think I read something in one of the comments about the grass always being greener on the other side. I find that this is true for most people at one point or another. I think the most important thing to remember is that life is not stagnant, but ever changing and ever evolving. It is best to remember that "this too shall pass".
William wsanare@yahoo.com	Arusha Tanzania	" Very soon i would living alone. I don't know how life will go. Waking up in the morning prepare my break fast!!!!!!!!! i don't know where to start but I believe i will make it. I'd never marry or living with a woman though i'm 30 years but i hope one day i will marry if i get someone of my dream. What would i be doing days when I'm not working - that is my big question. But don't care I enjoy reading, music exercising, swimming so i hope time will pass. "
Barbara robi585@aol.com	Bronx USA	" I enjoy living alone 99% of the time. I eat when I want, watch what I want on tv. Spend time on my computer with out interference. The one percent that I don't like is I get lonely and I find myself reaching out for company. When I get these feelings I call a friend or my Mom and talk, or I go out with friends "
Patrick Greene nrjetik81@yahoo.com	Williamston, NC USA	" Being alone is second nature to me. I've been at it since i was a outcast in high school, so i will embrace the fact that i'll live alone when i move this fall. Hell, from the looks of it, i'm not afraid to die alone either '
Cara cabie567@aol.com	Santa Barbara USA	" I have been living alone for five months or so; it has been an up and down emotional roller coaster for me. I just turned 21, and it has been a little difficult to live alone sometimes. At the same time I feel like it is a great challenge. I figured if I can be happy living alone then I can be happy no matter what. I'm still try to figure out things for myself and this is a perfect opportunity accomplish them. To my fellow living aloners your comments are great and inspiring. Thank you. "
Cliff blues1970@dodo.com.au	Melbourne Australia	" I truly do not like being or living alone. I have always been alone. I had the "big C" (cancer) ten years go. And it seemed everything I hoped for in my life has gone the wrong way. I only have a very small group of friends, but I always feel like a budinski or third wheel when I am around them. I normally do not stress about anything. Even today Feb 14th Valentine's day. It's more harder than Christmas alone.... "
fred kewlkat3@hotmail.com	inwood canada	" i like living alone because there is nobody to criticize and pester you. sure, human nature creeps up with thoughts of having company, or a mate, but, when you, see all the divorce/arguing/hurt children from divorce/well you get the drift. i just can't be a part of that cycle of misery. male or female, we all make our choices. you have yourself for company, you are never really totally alone! LOL! "
Steve semorgan08@adelphia.net	Colorado Springs USA	" Thanks for the posts! I enjoyed them them all. I admit to being a little introverted. I too have been alone for 21 months and living single. My main support and complaints of single life sound familiar here. I miss the intamacy, but not the hassles. I miss the company but not being broke due to shelling out dough on a whim everyday. I enjoy the private quiet time BUT often wish I could really find someone like myself. Someone I will just know and click with when I meet her. I am very passionate and believe there is no place I would rather be than in a womans arms. But alas, it's not all roses an candy everyday. Do you remember "Scent of a Woman?" Being single is almost like losing one of your senses at times...but maybe it will open my eyes when I do meet someone. ...really, I would have a hard time giving up my freedom but at the same time I will enjoy someone again when the day comes, try and make good decisions and know that I can live without anyone "
Sue	Aurora Canada	" I wrote some nonsense without putting my two-cents in about what it's like to live alone: I get to eat what I want when I want. I go to bed when I want the way I want. Most of all, I don't have to do the things a lover wants to do just to be nice and considerate of them: I don't have to go to movies I don't like, or go to movies when I just want to cuddle up in a bed with a book, I don't have to go out and spend money day after day at a restaurant when I know it makes good sense NOT to spend money eating out. I don't have to clean up after anyone, or do their laundry. I don't have to clean up after myself or do my laundry any sooner than I feel like it. I don't have to share anything. Mostly, I don't have to spend money I don't feel is disposable income. I don't have to pay for cable that I don't use, as I don't enjoy much television. I don't have to put up with a television in the bedroom. I don't have to put up with having a dog if a the man has a dog. I don't have to put up with not correcting spelling because the guy can't spell and is embarrassed about it. I don't have to put up with a guy's moods. I don't have to put up with a guy's complaining. I can do my own driving, and have just my modest payments for things. I don't have to worry about and try to fix a guy's poor planning and poor finances. I can do my own financial planning and I don't have to take into consideration a partner's preferences. I can do without and live with share accommodation, thereby be able to set aside savings, whereas within a relationship it is not easy to share space with a paying third party. I don't have to stock food and pay for expensive meats for a man who likes meats, when I can make do with far less expensive grocery shopping that suits me. I can plan and pay for a trip that's not expensive because it's only me going. I can decide absolutely last minute to go somewhere - whether on a 3-day vacation, for a drive, on a ski trip - without consulting anyone or asking anyone if they want to go. I so want to live my own life. I no longer want to live close to a boyfriend's financial woes because of their lack of planning. In fact, I just want to start a new business as well as maintain my own current suitable income. I want to do very well, and I can, now that I'm not held back by complaining males who blame their own financial circumstances on everything and everyone else"
Sue	Aurora Canada	" I don't live truly "alone". I have some male friends who I see - one far more often than all the other friends and family combined. And my family and I talk a lot - especially two of my cousins and one of my sisters. So I don't feel alone. But I haven't been in a long-term serious relationship since September 2002 when I ended a relationship that was causing me a great deal of pain. In general, it seems to me that there is a pattern in my life of putting myself second to the man in my life, and not living the life I want. Now that I'm 48 and therefore closer to the end of my life than the beginning, I've taken a good look at my pattern of "self-sacrifice" to benefit the men in my life. I am not content to say I lived a life of NOT performing music and NOT enjoying as a single person, ultimately, the company of a man or men who are confident, independent, NOT out to control me, and NOT going to ruin what I have attained through being irresponsible. Maybe I thought I would live forever. I wish I had woken up years ago so I didn't waste so much time. Life is for living every day, and I STILL don't do that. I work, try to catch, up, distract myself with a DVD or this computer until 11:00 at night, then go to sleep too late to be well enough rested to get up EARLIER than usual to make serious headway into getting things done that have been on my list for up to 3 years. For whatever reason, I didn't realize that I was "sacrificing" what I wanted in favour of doing whatever the man in my life indicated would make HIM happy. It is an interesting pattern. I believe I will simply repeat that pattern in all relationships if the man is needy, so I'm determined to live alone in order to reach my goals. Then, if having a particular man in my life will not jeopardize what I have attained, because I need a man I judge is not needy, then, if I am attracted to him, I will pursue a relationship with him. I would like to be happy in my life and in that way attract a man who is also happy in his life. My fear is that I will lose the sexual urge - you know, "use it or lose it". I don't know why I prefer living alone right now. I was in committed, long-term relationships most of my life - at least I was committed to them. My last serious relationship ended two and a half years ago in September 2002. Ending it was extremely difficult, but the hurt of living within it was worse. I had to cut off all contact in order to ensure the relationship did not start up again. By February 2003 I started going out with someone who I dated until the summer of 2003. Since then I have been living single. I am not lonely, because I have family and a few friends who I talk to frequently. I have goals that would not be goals if I were in a committed relationship. Most of my life I gave up goals in order to be in relationships. Most relationships hurt me, several of them financially. Then I dated someone for about 6 months, but it wasn't right
RoseMary rosemarymartinelli318@hotmail.com	San Jose USA	" I've never lived alone but soon will be. I'm terrified. I don't know if I will ever be able to sleep in my home alone. Friends and family say I will get use to it. I sure do hope so. It helps reading all your comments.,"
Richard P. Smith MrRichardPaul@msn.com	Tampa, Florida United States of America	" My beloved wife left Me in 1983. I have been alone since then. I moved to Florida in 1991 to care for My Mother Who died of cancer in 1996. Alone again. I have tryed to hold the fort so to speak for all these years. I feel I have done well. Do not dispair. You are Your own. Live Your life. Do good. Do no harm "
stac stasinsta@yahoo.com	fort smith us	" I have been married 3 times, and started very young...I'm now 39, and have been single for 8 years, I have choosen to do so, knowing that I failed at marriage and relationships, I've found the older ya get, the harder it is to accept others in private times...meaning, living together and such...I often feel sad about this, but then again I feel happy at times, knowing I have no one to answer to, not that I do that much...I like to read, watch movies and such, but seems I've always had to change being me, for the person that wants to be with me, so...I choose to be alone...but it's sad alot...this site has helped me realize that I'm not the one at fault, but just haven't met that other person for me...thx's so much, it's given me hope "
Andrea BlackbirdsRevo04@peoplepc.com	Buffalo United States	" Well I am 21 and I just moved out of my parents house for the second time. The first time was with a friend for a month and then I couldn't stand her anymore so I moved back home. Plus I was only 20 min away from home. Now I am 1hr 1/2 away from home. My boyfriends family lives out here but he went back to college where i use to live (where i met him) to finish school. But I don't know anyone else out here. Except for 1 or 2 more people but they live 1/2hr away. Before I moved I was soo excited to start out my life on my own, live on my own, work full time and go to college. Well day after day its the same old thing. I work, come home, eat and sleep. College hasn't kicked in yet but I have a feeling that I will be even more stressed. Its like I am stressed with boredom. I basically lived with my boyfriend (more or less just stayed at his dorm every night) back at home and now I don't have him here. No family or any friends to chill with. I hate being alone, living alone. I even bought a kitten and it didn't help. Now I am feeling miserable and it seems like these feelings are making me miserable with other parts of my life, like with my boyfriend. I think I am sinking into depression. I need to get out, meet people, pick up some new activities. I am desperate to make friends. People are suppose to be happy living on their own before living with someone else. What if I was to never get married, I have a feeling I would be some depressive soul. Everyone else is telling me how proud they are of me for actually moving out and living on me own. And I am proud of myself too. But I didn't realize, didn't think I would be so bored. I sound so ungathered inside. Well I feel better now that I have vented. All I can say is I hope college keeps me busy. And if anyone is in the area and is in the same kinda situation like me, lets talk "
Hailemelekot hmelekotag@yahoo.co.uk	ETHIOPIA	" I need help from those who knows about what living alone means You know I am living in a society where the government attacked its opponents by character defamation. In a society where mass media dictated by few individuals how can I introduce my self for the general public I suffered the past 14 years with out any help I suffered a lot. I need help I could not get it from my people show me the way. I ask excuse for my English "
Susan susanbethca@yahoo.ca	Montreal, Quebec Canada	" Living alone is something I have done for most of my life. I am 43 years old. Something changed 5 years ago. I lost my dearly beloved father and my maternal grandmother the same day. They died from independent causes. It was the most tragic event of my life. I also had extended losses of my mother and my brother who both live in different countries (U.S.A. and overseas). These relationships were toxic before my dad and grandmother passed away but when they passed away, these other relationships finally ended. I now am left with hardly any family and I face my 'loneliness' each and every day. I have been climbing back up the mountain and trying to redefine my life. I have never been married although I am not against it and perhaps one day it will happen. My whole sense of 'self' got lost and I am redefining who I am with respect to friendships, work and life in of itself. Am I a happy person - sadly enough deep down inside 'no' but on the outside most people could not tell. For the first time in my life I have such a hard time living alone. I wish there were more groups for people out there who have no family or who have gone through a crisis and are seeking to renew their lives. Unfortunately our society is not very good at healing scenarios of this nature. I will stop rambling. Thanks to anyone who has read this comment. Hopefully living alone one day will become a more 'peaceful' feeling within - right now it is no longer of that nature. And, the computer does not substitute true friendship but it does fill the void as it is right this second as I write., "
Yasser yas_acc@yahoo.com	Toronto Canada	" Man, i used to like the idea oF being alone but now , man let me tell you it's driving me creazy today is like the day befor and towmorrw it's not much diffrent than yeastrday. to finding someone to talk to some kind a dream and day by the it's just getting wrost man i really do find any reson for me a life i think if i just diad no one will even notes excpet my BOOS i'm 29 and i feel like i'm in my 50's i really don't konw if i have to feel better that i'm not the only one feel like this way or just sad that so many os out there!
Mitch vanox53@sbcglobal.net	Reno United States	" I was married for 26 yrs to the same woman. One day I was asked to leave, I did. At first it was a new adventure. This lasted about two months then the loneliness crept into my life. I took a couple classes to be with others but couldn't concentrate. I felt alone walking the crowded halls of the school, knowing that I had no one to come home to. Soon depression set in and I knew I had to meet another woman. Well, I did and it lasted a year. I was still living alone but saw her once a week. That gave me something to look forward to. I recently broke it off with her and alone full time again. Now comes the fight to stave off depression. So I bought some books on living single and enjoying it. Maybe I will find my true self this time around. Just hoping "
Marie soudre@colba.net	Montreal Canada	" I love not sharing the bathroom and going naked in my apartment if I want to (Not to mention staying in my pajamas all day if I so chose) Also, I love eating what and when I want. However I dislike eating and sleeping alone most of the time and not getting immediate feedback from my ideas, thoughts, feelings etc. "
Mike almadeanlee-miscellaneous@yahoo.com	Eloy US	" I've been living alone four years now...and it has certainly been an adventure and sometimes it is really scary. This past year was perilous, to say the least! I've had a heart attack, triple bypass surgery, kidney removal due to cancer, prostate surgery due to cancer and parathyroid surgery. I went thru all this alone.. except for some rides to and from the hospital from some caring friends. There were times when I would lie in bed and wonder if I would even wake up alive the next morning. Now, I am so much better. I have my health back and I am planning to move to another city. I am 66 years old and being old and alone has its risks. But you know what? I would rather live alone than be held prisoner in a bad relationship. I have a kind of freedom today that I only dreamed about years ago. "
Michael mrodino@neo.rr.com	Wadsworth USA	" Having lived alone for the past 5 months after being married for about 5 years, it is definitely a big difference. Living with others has it's good points like constant company and conversation, however, living alone has quite a few benefits. Just the fact that I can come and go as I please without having to tell or ask anyone is a big benefit. Of course, it does get a little depressing when you're all alone in your apartment, especially since I'm relatively new to the area and don't have a bunch of friends to hang out with."
Wendy wld4tigger@msn.com	VA USA	" Holly: Thanks for the pat on the back, I needed it. I'm adjusting to my situation and trying to make the best of it. It is always nice to have someone say encouraging words, thanks. :O) "
Jeff jeffmf@earthlink.net	Toronto Canada	" Great site. I live alone. Sometimes I love it. Sometimes I don't. I basically enjoy my solitude and I need lots of it because I write for a living, journalism, film, books. I've spent most of my working career in the USA and may move back this year. For now I am in what is considered a rather cold city, literally and figuratively. I have friends and family here. But I miss the energy and vibe of places I've lived in in the U.S., such as L.A. and New York. (I was married to an American, no kids). I find that volunteer work, yoga and my vegan diet help me stay balanced and centered. Thanks for all your comments. I love to get e-mail, too! Jeff "
Jean mima53211@yahoo.com	Milwaukee USA	*" Jeremy in Madison, I wish I knew you. I copied your poem. Your words regarding the mundane things we love about having someone in the house with us touched me. Thank you. "*
antoine	paris france	" it is my 4 months living alone. i enjoy being with myself at the end of the day. but having no one to talk to, or to tell your stories is really hard, so the problem isn't about the apartment (living alone or with someone) so living alone is great, but being isolated from friends is really hard "
Tom	.	" Hollie, I took no offense. I don't expect the grass to be greener. Besides, Southern California is desert.:) But seriously, I've known from a very young age that the heart is truly a lonely hunter, and I, along with every other conscious being , grope blindly for solace. For me, life is simply moments, that if I'm lucky, can be shared with someone who is willing to clutch them with me; the rest is all filler. Sadly, I don't see "forever" in anything or anyone. I guess I find it best summed up in Macbeth: I paraphrase; Life is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Hollie, thanks for your thoughts, I appreciate them. Continue if you like. If you wish, I've previously posted my e-mail address. Bye:)"
Hollie	.	"Living Alone: Tom, Your note was really interesting. No offense, but the grass looks a little less green on the other side of the fence for me now. I don't know what you're going through, because I've never experienced it, but I guess a person can feel alone even when they're surrounded by family sometimes. I hope that you find what you're looking for and if you don't, maybe at the very least, you'll get a new perspective on your life and that will help."
Hollie	.	" Living Alone: Wendy, I'm sorry that you're feeling so alone. I read your comments and I felt for you. Years ago, I was in a similar situation myself, but without children. It sounds like you're trying very hard to find the light at the end of the tunnel, and that is a wonderful quality. In my case, it took a while before I could get my stride again and sometimes it was a bumpy ride, but each day, (no matter how strange it felt) slowly but surely, I felt better and my guess is, you will too. You deserve a pat on the back for hanging in there, reaching out and sharing your thoughts on everything. Treat yourself really well now. - Hope it all works out.
Tom tjholt45@yahoo.com	Newark USA	" I've never lived alone, but I constantly fantasize about it. I'm 52, married 26 years with grown children, and the thoughts of living alone are overwhelmingly exciting. In fact, I'm returning to school and seriously considering a big East Coast/West Coast change of life. While I love my family, I can't help but feel that at this point I'm suffocating. I've read a number of comments from those presently living alone, and sense deep sadness in some thoughts. For me, I believe it will be a great adventure. I know I will be living a Spartan life (short funds), and I certainly will miss my family (I'm not a complete cretin), but I'm hopeful that the daily humorless grind I'm now living will be upgraded to a more rewarding existence. That's it in a word: since before a very long time ago I will be experiencing "hope". Hope in seeing, feeling and experiencing something new. Certainly, I will pay for this experience with sadness and loneliness, but, at the risk of sounding cavalier, nothing in life is free. I am also willing to pay the price because I wish to meet new people on my own terms; not simply as an extension of someone else's life (you know, this my husband/father). While I'm certainly not a gregarious sort, I certainly can hold my own socially and feel comfortable meeting new people, and the possibilities seem endless. At this point my only concern is how well will this former New Yorker fit into the Southern California culture. Don't know, but if I don't like it I'll just turn around and come back. Wish me good luck "
Wendy wld4tigger@msn.com	VA	" I'm very new at living alone, not really alone I have three boys aged 11,8,6, not really good adult conversation though. I have never ever been alone and its really hard. Two failed marriages, although the first one didn't affect me the way this second one has. I'm having a hard time adjusting to the quiet, the empty bed, the less food to prepare. I'm sleeping downstairs on a couch just so I don't have to go into "our" old bedroom. It's strange though, I am not missing him as much as I thought I would, when he left, I cried...now though I'm happy my house is peaceful. We don't have to be careful what we say or do, that is great. On the other hand, I just miss having him here. I think I might be nuts or something, not sure. I've had plenty of time to think and this living alone thing has put me in a new perspective. I feel like I really need to figure out who I am and what I really want out of life. So hopefully, with time, my heart will heal and I will learn. It's just so lonely doing it. :( "
Judith peeverjm@auracom.com	Chatham Canada	" I Love living alone!!! I work full time and when I come home I can turn on a CD, a modest fountain, pour a cup of hot chocolate and RELAX with my cat on my lap. The outside world (and its problems) are gone for a while. I don't have to worry about making a meal for anyone but myself. If I feel like enjoying a good meal at 10 at night or 11 in the morning its my choice!!! And yes, I am a good cook. If I wish to share, than I can call a friend or a family members. Or, I can just set the dining room table with my best linens, lite a candle and enjoy it with some good music. If I wish male companionship I can attend a singles dance with no attachments or obligations. I tend to ME first - my best friend!!!!! If someone should come along to share my life again that might be nice but I'm not really looking. I am 57, once-widowed and once divorced. I would enjoy corresponding with other singles who enjoy LIFE and all it has to offer. This site has my permission to include my e-mail address in this submission "
Mr. Deepak Jani jani_deepak@hotmail.com	Gandhinagar India	" Your loneliness is unique and difficult to get inspiration as it is always differd from person to person, however you have left good impression and something to feel about your loneliness. Yours ever remaining , Deepak
Maheen	Pakistan	" I completely agree with what Beth, Lake Forrest, IL USA says. It's always been more fun for me being alone than with people especially those who never stop talking. You wait for one topic to finish and they start another. After a busy working day, I prefer to be on my own. But, I've always felt guilty for my needing to be alone. It seems so mean and selfish considering how nice ppl have been to me. So I try to compensate in other ways like picking up their laundry etc. Thanks Beth for reassurance "
Hollie	Canada	" Someone once said, "You cannot not be alone, until you love being alone." I'm 44 and I've been in a couple of common-law relationships and I've loved very deeply and lost. Sometimes I think the grass is greener in couple-land and then I'm reminded by friends and family, that being in a relationship doesn't mean that problems go away, they're just different problems than the problems of being single. I love having a man in my life. God it's wonderful! :) But in my experience, it isn't always perfect. And being alone isn't always perfect either. For me the worst part about being alone is that it takes a lot more effort to connect with people. No one is going to knock on my door and plead for my friendship. And my married and coupled friends are often much busier and they don't remember or have never known what it's like to be alone for a long time. So it's up to me to find those other people that are living in their solitary worlds in their homes, by themselves. If we all stay in, we'll never find each other! I wish that was different. That to me, is the biggest challenge. Also, I really feel sorry for myself when I'm sick or sad and there's no one around. I miss someone noticing if I'm all right or not. As Bridget Jones said, "I'm afraid I'll die in my apartment and be eaten by my dogs." God, that would be sad eh? But whenever I feel like the saddest specimen of life, I remind myself of something that seems to help me. Maybe I'm deluding myself but here goes.... "We're all going to be alone sooner or later." :) Even couples will be alone one day. If that sounds morbid and cynical, I don't mean it to sound that way. Their spouses will pass away before they do, or they'll leave the world alone and leave everyone behind. Call me crazy, but I take comfort in that, because I figure I'm getting more practice, so that if I'm ever alone again, or loose again, I'll be more relaxed about it. At this point in my life, I figure if I can love ANYONE, (not just a boyfriend or partner) but friends, family, strangers, children, pets and life itself, then I'll be okay. For a long time, television, movies and fairytales had me believing that romantic love, is the ONLY love that matters. Romantic love is a beautiful and amazing love. No doubt about that, but there are other kinds of love that are life changing and unforgettable too. I think this is a wonderful web site. It really helps to know that we're not really alone after all. We're all in this together and there are millions of us. :) "
Niall clubbrugge2005@btinternet.com	Rothwell England	" This site has been a tremendous inspiration to me. Reading the comments of others on how they feel about life alone has helped me a lot - particularly at times when I feel low. It is Christmas time and my first one living on my own. The media and advertisers/shops etc. here in the UK promote Yuletide as purely a time to go and blow hundreds/thousands of pounds on presents for people and then surround yourself with them to stuff loads of food and drink down your necks. But some of us don't have loads of loved ones to do these things with and so there is a natural tendency to feel left out of things over the festive period if you are living on your own. I'd feared I would feel really down over Christmas, but it has actually been quite peaceful and enjoyable. No blazing rows with ex-wives, no confrontations with the ex-mother-in-law and no arduous car journeys to see ex-in-laws I had nothing in common with. Instead, I spent Xmas Day with my mum and had a nice time overall.I went to a place and a person of my choosing to spend 25th December - rather than having people and places imposed upon me as in married years. I have had nearly a year of living alone now and have posted here twice before on how I was coping/not coping with it. In the last twelve months, I divorced, had to leave my home of quite a few years and in November my dad died. Along with all these things, I found myself living alone for the first time in my life at the age of 41 Life has been hard. At times I did not think I'd cope, but I am still here. On balance, I am far happier living alone than I was in the last few painful and bitter years of my failing marriage. Life alone has brought me some degree of peace. It has certainly built character and created self-resolve in me. My ex soon found somebody else and is now in a new relationship. I don't feel the need to do this at this time. I don't want to rush in and start another relationship just for the sake of company. I feel a couple of years of living alone is a journey I have to take. It may well be that I will live alone for the rest of my life and if that is so, I don't dread the prospect as I thought I once would. Happy New Year to you all "
Steph scf292003@yahoo.ca	Toronto Canada	" I have lived on my own on and off for over 10 years. I just turned 31 & need my space. I partied a lot the week before Christmas & worked overtime Christmas week so I've been overstimulated. :) I just turned off my phone & will stretch on the couch, listen to CBC & read the papers. Bliss!
joe runningbear43160@yahoo.com	tipp city oh. usa	" I really getting to hate living alone i been single now for 2 or 3 months i moved away from a bad relationship so now im starting over with no friends an no one to talk to or share idea's or just have a normal conversation with except people i work with an i use to hate the idea of getting up an going to work as problay so many others do but as of late I really can't wait get to work LOL (NUTS AINT IT).but anyway I look back the last 15 years of my life an I noticed one thing I did anything to go from one relationship to another an become some one I am not just to prevent my self from being alone so maybe this isnt such a bad thing gives me time to look at my life an try to do things on my own just wish i had friends to talk to other than work.far as eating we won't even go there between roman noodle soup an short things to eat like chips mac an cheese lol my eating habbits are to far gone an it isnt i cant cook I was a prepcook for a well known resort so thats its not i dont know how to cook just why should I make something a when theres no other to injoy it?,an far as home being cleaned problay I have the cleanest home in all of ohio so another words living alone really does suck thanks joe "
Rude rpachecoone@hotmail.com	Albuquerque USA	" I have lived alone now for about 6 years, everyday just comes and goes .. the sun rises you get out of bed. the thing i find most different is not talking to another human for days, and when you do you can hear your voice and its just weird. Taking your time and thinking about how you are gonna do things alone, like cooking and picking up heavy things. but i guess overall i do like it...except the talking part..:o) "
Noel Pugh Noelart@earthlink.net	Simi Valley USA	" After two divorces, and being dumped by my last woman friend. I am truly alone, none of my children live in this country, and leaving California would be difficult to do. Walking around naked is no biggie, I lived at a nudist resort for years , I miss that too. But here is an interesting thing, when dozing in front of the TV, I get a strange feeling that I am NOT alone, that someone is in the room with me, and its a comfortable feeling, and it is not the same person or same each time, but it seems that they KNOW me. "
Paul	Columbus, Ohio USA	" Divorced 4 years ago ... My daughter moved out last summer. I had to put my cat down a few weeks later. My relationship with my significant other ended two months ago. Now, at the age of 46 I am truly alone for the first time in my life. It's quite a change ... it's very quiet ... almost spooky! But I like it. Music ... reading ... coming and going as I please. I can relate to what was said earlier ... I tend to give of myself completely in a relationship ... and find myself feeling taken for granted ... ending up resentful and selfish. That's no way to live. I miss companionship, but I owe it to myself to do this "alone" thing at least once in my life. Nurture myself. I cancelled my cable. I'm reading a lot more. I quit smoking and drinking. I started working out. I can go to school ... volunteer ... and yes, sit around in my underwear if I want to. I'll probably get another cat pretty soon ... and now I have the time to invest in real friendships "
Angela apaulk@hotmail.com	Lake Dallas Texas	" Hello, I am not really living alone. I have my 3 boys with me, the oldest is going into the army at the end of August. I do feel so alone though. I am 35 years old and with a man who is 43. We live in separate homes and I spend a large amount of my time commuting to him. When invited to my home, he always finds a reason he can't. I have no friends that I feel comfortable talking to about this. I am getting out of this relationship ASAP, but am needing a place to go for comfort, friendship and some good advice to get through this and find myself again "
Louie louisrocque2000@yahoo.com	Metro Detroit US of A	" In my late 20's I ask a doctor why I seem to be in such bad shape after a relationship ends, He said with a quick reply, You have Manic !! So I think that some of you might want to see a doctor if you have to much of a problem living alone. I can say that I am now in my 50's and with a few relationships behind me I am finally starting to find out who I really am, "Better late then never" I think it's a little exciting to see what life is like on my own and not be in a panic, I feel like I am just stepping onto the road of life and I wonder what I'll see. Feel free to E-Mail me on this, I had to go to great extremes on learning how to get by for just one month, I am now on my 6th month alone "
Beth	Lake Forrest, IL USA	" Almost everyone who has posted sounds like an Introvert. At least 25% of the population is introverted. Introversion is not shyness or social ineptitude (although extroverts are likely to think of introverts this way). Introversion is about where you get your energy from. If the primary way that you rejuvenate is by having alone time, you're probably on the innie side of the spectrum. If you find you get the most energy by being with and around people, talking to people and having people talk with you and be around you, then you are more likely to be on the extraverted side of the spectrum. Ever since reading "The Introvert Advantage" by Marti Olsen Laney I have understood why I am so comfortable living alone and have grown to understand how relationships can be draining and sometimes take more from me than I'd like to give, energy-wise. I also realized that I find it exhausting to be around people who simply do not stop talking and could not stop to save their lives. The extreme extravert thrives on having an audience. The introvert can take or leave an audience, and does not live for one or feel completely worthless without one. Loved the book. It should be linked to this website! I'm very social and spend a lot of time with people all day long, and many of my friends are extraverted. I "extravert" myself all day long, but at the end of the day, I LOVE coming home to my own place all alone, at whatever hour I want to, not required to report my happenings to anyone unless I wish to. I've gotten so comfortable with living alone, and I know plenty of men friends who have too, that I am certain there will be bigger populations who simply "date" and never (re)marry because they enjoy their alone time so much. However, with the right partner who understands your needs and has similar needs, introverts can still find a way to have relationships and still get their needs met. Introverts, you are not social misfits or snobs just because you prefer to rejuvinate in your alone time and you don't seek out massive amounts of people and interaction to fill you up every moment of the day. If you don't believe me read The Introvert Advantage
Bill P jwpjr32@hotmail.com	Dartmouth Canada	" I think living alone is something we all need to experience. some of us get use to it and enjoy it. and their are those like myself who would rather be with someone. not just anyone. someone who would have all the respect in the world as I would have for them. I've come to the conclusion that finding someone is just as hard as finding a job that pays 100,000 a year...I know its all about being ready. you know. breaking the normal routines that we get ourselves caught up in...being alone does have its peace of mind. but two people with the same peace of mine in a whole pie...God said that "It is not good for man to be alone".
Jo tigerjo@metrocast.net	.	" I think it is the peace of mind it gives me. I made up my mind, after almost a life time of living with people, to live like this. It has been the best 10 years of my life. I have a few animals and one that belongs to someone else and likes the peace so well he comes in every day. Even nights he hates to leave, after his year with me. I really can not tell you what it is I like so but it seems to be just the right way to live. It seems to be pure, clean and restful. "
Anon	USA	" I have started to feel the pain of living alone over the past few months, especially after I broke up with my ex gf. I usually try to keep myself busy with work, and personal hobbies and with friends it doesn't feel that bad. I have always liked to live independently, but like many expressed, it has its pros and cons. But it sadly hurt to have no one to have around on your birthday even though it feels stupid that we bother about a random day we were told and try to make it special day. I don't know if being the offspring of divorced parents has rendered me emotionally distant to other people, but I always seem to have trouble connecting with most people. This site has made me feel better!! Thanks! Googling always helps! "
Dana danaa@accuflex.com	Detroit USA	" I am currently living alone as a single parent of 3 children. I moved out of a house that my live-in-boyfriend and I shared. We loved each other but we had many gripes and our share of head bumping. I decided to move out because at that point I was miserable. Now I have a peace of mind!!!! I enjoy my peace especially after the kids are sleeping. I spend time with the Lord and I try to pray as much as possible. The funny thing is My ex now wants to get married!!!!!!!!! He feels with some counseling we would work out ok. I told him I don't think I want to give up "Paradise". I am really enjoying living alone at the moment, but who knows how I will feel in 6 months. I do miss the company. "
kathy	upstate ny usa	" i left my husband 18 months ago. it was best thing i've ever done, and the hardest. i felt more alone the last 4 years i was with him than i do now. before i was isolated and had no hope, now i am by myself and am making progress. best to be by yourself and know that you are making an attempt at life then to sit around with someone who doesn't even realize you are there. i've met folks who are on their second, third, forth marriages and people who just move in with someone and when it ends they move in with the next person, trading one miserable relationship for another miserable relationship, just so they won't have to be alone. such a waste"
Greg	California	" Living alone is sometimes a stressful experience. Some days are good and some days are terrible. I would love to enjoy being with someone, but what can you do. You have to wait your turn until somebody who you care about is willing to live with you. Well I guess time will tell. "
Christine momail2@yahoo.com	Port Charlotte USA	" I have mixed feelings about being alone. I have lived with my 2 children (now grown) as a single parent for 11 years since my divorce. Now they are out of the house and I am really on my own. I have lots of freedom to do whatever I want but I don't know yet what I want to do. I work and go home. I know I am very loving and have always held relationships above all else. I would love to find someone to share the rest of my life with. I can't say I don't get lonely....I do! I have many friends (mostly married) can't see them all the time. I have both the life of singleness and togetherness. I have to say if it's with the right person I would rather share my life with someone. I however refuse to settle and be unhappy with the wrong person like I see so many do "
Jaime jdil@yahoo.com	Austin USA	" I recently became awakened to the reason I have had problems with certain things most all of my life...because I need to be alone. Of course not 24/7, but more often than I am now at least. I work 8-10 hours every day with people, I drive home, more people on the road, I get home, more people at home (just 1, but...). I don't get enough time to myself. To me, this is such a huge revelation! When I think of many of the things that I've done and how relationships in the past/present have materialized, it makes all the sense in the world that I needed to be more on my own, more independent, have more time for me. It's like the reason for 80% of the stuff that happened and that I MADE happen! Now I can make this realization work for me, not against me. It's like a huge piece of my puzzle fell into place. Actually, this web site helped me realize all of this. I'm still analyzing this to see exactly what it means to me, but I think it is a major piece that I was missing. Thank you for this site! J "
David Blough	St. Helena, CA	" I was sitting at my computer---enjoying the daily news and my email (mostly news subscriptions) and the that occurred to me...."Ug, another day alone." I have just gone thru a divorce after a two-year separation, no one to blame but myself. But now, I find that some days are worse than others, especially when the holidays are just about here. Anyway, the that occurred to me to look for a book on living alone....and found this site with others dealing with the same issues... Thanks for posting this material that can help those of us who live alone. "
James missouri789@yahoo.com	Missouri USA	" I think this site is a great inspiration to many that may need it. It has helped me a great deal. I'm 46 and recently lost my wife. I always liked living in county. my spouse did not. No one to blame. All things happen for a reason I'm told. I Feel for those who have ended up on this page because of life's curveballs it throws. Don't like the idea of going on alone at this point in life. For years I thought that I was a loner at heart but I know that never was true now. To anyone living alone not by choice, God will open another door. There is a reason for this page and contents to be here. May God bless all here who are in pain. James "
Evelyn Lam	Toronto Canada	" I find living alone very fun sometimes, and very depressing sometimes. The fact that I've never had a close relationship before except with my family (and even then I'm not very close) has kind of degraded me a bit. It's not like I don't have the ability to socialize, it's just that I don't. I'm a writer, so I spend a lot of time at home in the city. I get inspired by going to different places full of people, but I rarely talk with them. At home it's really quiet all the time, unless I play music. I've been alone all my life, and I think I might end up that way. I don't know if this is abnormal behavior, I've lived like this since University. I really haven't looked up on it, I wonder if I should start a social life. For now I try not to dwell on loneliness, rather my writing and everything that goes with my editing job."
Candy cmn@madbbs.com	Kennedy, NY USA	" I'm a woman, 53 and living alone for the first time in my life. It's a unique time of learning. Like others here, I'm savoring the coming and going as I please, coming out of the bathroom naked, spending days off in my jammies. I cook if I feel like it, or have cornflakes if I rather. It's a pause in life. I'm not jaded or thinking how much better life is without him. Instead, I'm going forward to see what i can learn. Sometimes I think I SHOULD feel sad, or lonesome and maybe pathetic. I just can't muster it. I have lots of friends and family. My life is full. I have all I need. If someday a man comes into my life, it will be because I want him, not because I need him. Knowing that is very comforting and liberating. "
lallala lallala16947@hotmail.com	Windhoek Namibia	*" I love it, I have my own privacy, I can do what I want when I want to. If I don't want to cook that night no one forces me to cook or someone nagging me that they are hungry. I JUST LOVE IT!!!!! "*
Karan karn9090@yahoo.com	mumbai india	" As someone has already mentioned its a state of mind. i had living relation with my girlfriend but as time passes difference of opinions took there places. Both of us think each of us right. Now realized that living alone has its pros n cons.... I'm very sensitive man this is my weakness.. i 'm working on it. lets hope to meet some who will help me in helping her also, Thanx
Fitz	London	*" I hate it. I lead a tremendously interesting life, but it will not earn its full significance until I have somebody to share it with. I will probably die alone, in the rain "*
Fred	Brockville, Ontario Canada	" I was listening to a radio program on the CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation for all you non-Canadians) called DNTO (Definitely Not The Opera) and they were featuring a story about a guy who spent a year living ALONE on an island in southern Chile. Now this guy really knows what being alone is all about and he has found that it makes him more fully human. Take a look. Here's the link... http://bobkull.org/ , Here is an excerpt from the site... I recently returned from southern Chile. On a small, remote island, I built a shelter and lived alone for a year to experience the physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual effects of deep wilderness solitude. Here through photographs, videos, writings, and meditation we can explore this living alone together. Solitude is sometimes dark and difficult, but there is deep joy abiding in the flickering stillness. Moments when, as unexpected gift, boundaries and buffers dissolve and All is, as it always was, sacred and alive. Solitude can remind us there is no true spiritual freedom except through surrender to our own lives just as they are- here and now - in each moment. "
Miguel	New London USA	" Living alone and loving the freedom it provides sounds very nice...but it may all depend on your age for that statement to be relevant. If you are getting older (above 50 in my case) your body may not allow you to enjoy "Living alone". As we age, alone is a dangerous condition to be in. If you become infirmed with something other than a simple cold, with something long term, cancer, Parkinsons, arthitis, heart disease or whatever else that WILL befall us all in one form or another, then a caring person who will be there for us with moral support at the very least, nothing is better than that."
Renee mmobile71@netscape.net	Kettering USA	" I like walls. They are very comforting. They are secure. They are very forgiving to whatever they see. They are always there when I arrive and stay as I leave. They don't snicker at my singing nor hiss at my style of music. But, they are not my life. I love life. It is very comforting. It is consistent. It is very forgiving of my inabilities. It is always there when I awake and is with me as I sleep. It does not snub my perceptions of life nor render me mute for enjoying it. It is always available 24/7. I have the same amount of time in one day to do as I will as the next person. I find expressions can be treasured very nicely on walls and walls can always be changed. Being single in lifestyle is as much a choosing as it is a need. I live without the presence of others in my apartment because I cherish the sense of quiet - a sanctuary for recharging my me-ness. I am always around people and am always in awe of how much we need others. Finding the right partner may very well mean that partner enjoys your presence but not your walls. I know that things that don't sit well with me are begging to leave - and so, do I really live alone or am I bringing in echoes of others within my walls? That's why I enjoy my single-ness - it offers me a most precious way to spend time - a gift that has allowed me many years of finding ways for enjoyment"
Shazaam	Friendswood USA	" I love living alone. After all, I don't live ALL of my life alone. I'm only alone when I choose to come home and be alone. There was a time in my life when I did not have that choice. I am so much more aware of who I am, and what I am thinking and feeling, now that I am not occupied with a 'mate'. Anyone who has ever been married to a control-freak, as I was, knows how liberating it is to be self-directed. I do have a Bischon and Cornish Rex who entertain me and keep my nurturing skills in tact. I also have a deep abiding relationship and constant inner communication with my Lord. Peace to all out there who are 'living alone' "
Elizabeth elisabethdean@yahoo.com	Norfolk, VA USA	" I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with living alone. I think I love yet, yet I am continually seeking a relationship! Then I get in the relationship for a year or so, then wish I were alone...and the cycle continues. I really do like to be alone--it means I can just read and go to bed when I want and get up when I want and eat what/when I want, etc. But, I do wish I could find SOMEONE perfectly compatible with me to share my ideas with. I know for sure that I don't like social situations much--like several people here wrote, when I am around a group of people I just can't wait to get off by myself. I do fine in social groups and don't have panic or anything, I just prefer to be alone day dreaming, reading, walking, etc. Or with one significant other who is similar to me. ANYWAY. I hope this made someone feel better about him/herself. it is easy to feel like there is something wrong with you, but there isn't! I feel better about my decision to be alone right now (while looking for a partner in my aloneness, of course, so that the cycle continues) after having read this! Good luck. "
Cathy	Australia	"At 41 I have finally accepted what I have probably known for a long time - as much as I enjoy being with others at work and socially, I LOVE retreating to my space to recharge my batteries. Most people who know me superficially would consider me to be a very outgoing and sociable person, and in some contexts I am, however I also need significant amounts of solitude on a daily basis. Unfortunately for all concerned, not working that out earlier in life means that I have an unsuccessful marriage behind me, and a two year live in relationship that is in the process of ending. However, up until now I have let my lack of self awareness and perhaps the fear of social stigma overwhelm my own nature and have entered into these live in relationships that have proved very draining for me - and disasterous also for the other party (lots of guilt to work through there) It has been encouraging to read the posts on this site - those for and against living alone. I am looking forward to returning to a more solitary domestic life."
Karl	Lakefield Canada	" In general I find the company of most people to be, at best, less than stimulating and usually an exercise in death by boredom but sometimes I get lonely too so I'll go to a restaurant at a time of day when it isn't too busy and order a coffee and read a book. That way I get to be around people without having to interact with them too much. The waitresses are usually friendly and intelligent and I'll have a brief chat with them so I get some human interaction without overdosing. I don't think that this is a good substitute for an intimate relationship but it's as much as I'm willing to make an effort for. Some of us on this planet are not made to be social butterflies or we're sociable but in a more selective way. Or we're carrying so much baggage from damaging experiences in our past that we don't feel capable of close relationships and we prefer to say everyone else is screwed up so that we can avoid making the necessary effort to get out there and meet someone. I believe that this last reason is probably the most common one whether or not we are aware of it "
rod	Edmonton Canada	" i find it very empty and quite as i was working out of town and came home to this new life 3 kids and spouse gone plus all the good property, taken to another province haven't heard from in 4 months,"
Craig greyhawknative@yahoo.com	Denver USA	" I completely identify with the comment about the bathroom. I've been known to go all day without dressing, although I usually don't (I typically just don't wear shoes). I like the privacy. I've always been a loner, so not having people in my life is not a bad thing. I actually find living with people to be a pain. As for relationships with women, I think the only reason I would want one is for the sex, and that's a terrible reason to have a reason to have a relationship. I used to think about having a significant other. The idea of being alone with someone is quite appealing, but these days I just relish in the freedom of being alone. I answer to no one. I do what I want when I want. I buy myself things and do not need permission from anyone. I keep pseudo-contact with the world via the internet (I'm a blog addict). It works for me. I have lived with roommates and family, and I have been among many crowds of people. There's one thing worse than being alone: being in a room full of people and still feeling alone. The reality of being alone is much more honest then the illusion of it "
Marie ajesmarie@yahoo.com	USA Salisbury	" For me, there is a big difference between living alone and not having a significant other in my life, and having a significant other in my life and still living alone. I very much enjoy my privacy and independence, but at the time I am lonely because my 6 mos. relationship did not work out. When we were dating, he would come over on the weekends and go back to his house during the week, and that was perfect for me. I am 42, was married for 15 yrs., and now single for 2 yrs. It has been a great learning experience for me and I am proud that I know I can do it. I like to be able to come and go as I want, set up my own budget, and just do as I please. You have to have plans and goals in life, that's what keeps me going. Good luck to all of you. You can do it! "
Christal adminsl@schneidlibera.co.za	Johannesburg South Africa	" I have recently moved into a lovely rented cottage. I have also just separated from my husband of 1 year. Having always wanted to been on my own to sort out my head etc... I now have alllll this free time and I do not know what to do with it. I am often depressed and sad, having been living with my husband for 9 years before getting married. I can't study (Im doing a correspondence course) and I feel so despondent to the point of tears and screaming. I think everyday to be positive but end up wanting to curl up and die. I hate the people that I work with and I wish they would all die. I hate them so much. Please help going into self destruct mode and lost my map. - Christal "
Niall clubbruges2003@yahoo.co.uk	Rothwell England	"I posted previously on this site about my initial views of life on my own in a rented flat. At that point, I had more or less begun my adventure of life alone after my marriage came to an abrupt end. I now have about nine months more experience of solo living. The last time I wrote, I still had regular contact with my ex, as she was looking after our two dogs during the weekdays because I couldn't have them full-time in the flat. The contact we had was not good contact. It was extremely painful and negative contact for me, contact best ended. Recently, I have moved into a house where I can now keep the dogs full-time. So I now have canine company, 24/7 and no longer see or hear from my former wife. Do I enjoy living alone? The honest answer is no, I don't. But like so many on here, I try to make the best of it. I dislike it because I miss not having somebody else to talk to, face to face, when I come in from work. I miss not having ding-dongs about who watches what on the telly. Now, I can watch whatever I like, whenever I like, but I'd actually rather have the irritation of compromise/defeat over trivial things like that, like I was used to before. I miss the ups and many downs of my married life. I now have nice and calm and flat...yes flat, as in flatness, emotional flatness. Day in, day out, wall to wall el flatto. My dogs are a huge comfort to me. They give a purpose to life alone (human alone). Without them, life would be totally void and pointless. The one major positive I have gleaned from living alone is it being a great tool for building character through self-responsibility. For example, If I don't leave the bin out on dustman day, then it stays unemptied. If I don't clean the toilet, then nobody does. If I don't feed the pooches, they starve.. The list goes on. Human beings, I think, seek emotional comfort in the company of others, or that special other. So many bereaved partners after long and happy marriages are left totally devastated after the death of their spouse, so much so, many do not wish to carry on living. But aloneness is arguably the natural human birth state and certainly the departure one. Living alone at some point in your life, between those two stages, can help build great strength (I believe) to cope with the second stage which we all face. You learn when you live alone, to never to rely on others always being there for you - something I did when I was married. Being in that mindset caused me tremendous pain when my partner pulled the plug on things. By living "
Tracy	Hamilton Canada	" Living alone has its moments of delicious reclusiveness, but in general, these days it SUCKS. I have lots of love for myself and am giving to others. I like being by myself so much that although I spend time with interesting people, unless it feels as good or better than being by myself, I prefer being alone. but that doesn't mean i don't feel isolated. i do. i have a lot of good things in my life, i am a musician who studies art, so i have wonderful things that i share with others and this fills some of my hours. but i also have lots of love to share. my closest friend loves me and tells me the thing about me is that i try to always put my best out there and i expect the best from others also. well, we are here for only a relatively short time, we might as well make the best go of it. I share a two bedroom apt with a working guy who hardly ever communicates and is hardly ever here so most of the time so it's just me and my very affectionate cat. I suffer from longing sometimes....for intimacy from a mate. I have to accept my situation cause there is no controlling life when it comes to love. it is there or it isn't there... I have lots of love inside me and spread it around in many ways and maybe someday someone who i am attracted to will be attracted to me also. but I have to live and focus on the good, rather than the negative. there are many many perspectives to viewing anything and if I find that I'm being caught in a negative tunnel vision thing, i try to step aside and take a more positive viewpoint and get into a more positive stance. But i can't ignore that fact that living alone therein lies the lonely feeling in there somewhere. It's nice to hear others thoughts on this subject....i also sat at my keyboard and typed "alone" to see what would surface. thanks for letting me vent. "
Cate cateheather@yahoo.ca	Toronto Canada	" I have been living partially alone for coming up on a year now, let me explain that. I am 31 years old with a 5 year old son that is with me during the week, but at his fathers house on the weekends. Maybe the concept of living alone to me means: without a partner. I do feel that I am living pretty much alone. I hate it. The other strange thing seems to be that I seem to be the only person in this entire city that is alone. Everywhere i go, everyone I know, all couples. I have never in my life lived alone, went from parents to roommates to boyfriends. Just in making that statement it suggests to me that this may really be what i need. However i dont like it. I SO miss the companionship of living with someone. Little things like making a fancy meal or laying on the couch together to watch some television. Since i have moved into my current apartment i have done (with the exception of my sons room) nothing at all to make this feel like a home. So i am sure part of the blame is mine. I miss falling asleep with someone, waking up with them, making plans for our days together. I do not feel empowered at all by the total responsibility that comes with living alone. On a brighter note; i have found that i do possess the abillity to kill spiders. I will admit that at first i did a lot of screaming at them (perhaps hoping that they would die of fright?) when this did not seem to work i mustered the courage to arm myself with a (very large) shoe and ATTACK!! I do though spend a lot of time wishing that this was not the situation that I was in. This in turn kinda backfires........Hello, nice to meet you? Okay enough with the small chat, wanna shack up?? Really does not seem to be working at all. I am back to sleeping with a teddy bear and wishing that i was not the one that had to investigate all the bumps in the night, and let me tell you there are a lot of them! For all you single cats out there loving every second of it, i salute you! Now i am going to add to my bag of worries...... Not only and I 31 not dating (still kinda cute!) living on my own and hating it as i feel that i am missing out on the dream that everyone else seems to have BUT now i am missing out on all the growth and experience that others are able to gleam from this experience. I think I may be a throw back from the 50's, cuz i want my Cleaver life to start now. I also when i was living with others found that i was a great housekeeper, i mean even bordered on obbess/comp but now..... well lets just say that cleaning supplies are not what is busting my monthly budget! Wow, re-reading this i sound like i have enough baggage for an airport. few more points: If you live alone no one will rescue you from that last piece of Cake in the fridge If you live alone you could die and no one would even notice the day that you died..... Okay feeling self pity so time to go, thanks you for listening to me, anyone cares to share any helpful info with me please by all means e-mail me!"
Jose nature_of_the_beast@webtv.net	Brooklyn N.Y.	*" I think some people are born to live alone. A person who doesn't like people should never get married "*
mily	Manitoba, Canada	" I will be back to read more of the comments on this site about living alone. Two pluses I find about living alone - A person can be a whole lot lonelier living with someone than living alone. At least with living alone, you can take the initiative to become involved in activities you enjoy, invite people into your life who you find interesting. The second big bonus for me is that I control how I want my environment to be. At my front door I have a poster from Nova Scotia - it indicates that I belong to the 'Order of the Good Times'. In the days of discovery, early military people were faced with unbelievable odds especially in the winter. a plan to improve the morale of the military men was devised to have different groups prepare the evening feast. I use this as an example of how to live my life - you can enjoy each other's company in my home, you can have discussions and agree to disagree but you can't fight in my home. Life is meant to be enjoyed when it can be enjoyed. We need good times so we have strength to deal with the real hardships of life "
Bill bconway@wdtinc.com	Oklahoma City USA	" I have really enjoyed reading this site. I have been married twice now. The first time for 20 years, the second for 3 years. Ever since I was born, until now at the age of 44, I have lived with someone - parents, roommates, kids between divorces, spouse - so I'm one of the people that is just really starting out alone. I just came out of a relationship that was the love of my life, until I die. So many things went wrong. I am in a nice apartment, but I think that at this point I am alone and lonely right now and mourning the loss of my marriage - so it is tough. As I've read in many of these posts, learning to live within your own skin is a very challenging thing that I'm just starting to do. I do want to really get to know myself again. I read this in one of the posts and it really does apply to me: "Being alone and learning to love yourself is a much more positive thing to aspire to than clinging on to what's gone. " If anyone wants to email me please do. I can use the communication - bconway@wdtinc.com "
Deena deena10@hotmail.com	Spokane US	" My live-in boyfriend of two years moved out about two months ago. At first I hated it. I hated going to bed alone, waking up alone, coming home from work and no one being there, it was horrible. Although it is still difficult at times, I am now starting to see the up side to living alone. When I get home from work everything is the way I left it.. CLEAN!! I live in an apartment, so instead of doing 6 loads of laundry I am down to 2-3 and saving so much money. If there is a mess, I know it's mine, I am not cleaning up after someone else. Whenever the phone rings, it's always for me. And most of all I was so worried that I wasn't going to be able to pay all the rent, cable, phone or electric but I will tell you the first time I had to pay all of those things myself it was awesome, because I realized I didn't need anyone's help, I could actually do this on my own. I didn't realize because my boyfriend and I shared our money, how much money I really had. Even though I am paying everything myself, I have more money now because I don't have to spot him $20 until he gets paid or when we go out to dinner I am not spending $50 anymore, my paychecks are actually lasting until I get paid again. Living alone makes me feel more independent, in control of my own life and I now know, I don't need a man to depend on I can depend on myself, which is how it should be anyway. "
Dave Stein	Wichita Kansas	" I can take people up to a point, but they tend to hold in their frustrations rather than bringing up what bothers them. before they are too frustrated to work them out with me. It's usually silly stuff, and who wants to be judged by their mistakes, rather than respected for their kind ways? I like living alone unless I'm sick, then yes, it's nice to have someone there. Older ya get, the more baggage ya see in those ya meet. I leave my baggage outside, in the trash. Live for today, yesterday is "lessons learned", and "dust in the wind "
Graham J.	Kitchener Canada	" Ack! She's gone, I have to pay double rent, I don't eat right. Well I can do whatever I want, and well I can now blow all my money on bars. So now I am compelled to leave the house and interact with people. Otherwise I sit and start to feel claustrophobic and practice odd rituals. Anyways this is my tidbit. "
Monique mwiggins@patmedia.net	Somerset USA	" I currently live alone after my separation from my husband, and I find it very peaceful. I enjoy getting up in the morning and doing me.. I do not have to put up with anyone attitude. - I love it."
Cesily kingcx@haradamail.com	Southfield USA	" I enjoy living alone because I have the pleasure of coming home when ever I want without anyone asking me where I've been. When my over night company comes over it's all fun without any interruptions !!! "
Shawn	Tampa USA	" I can't stand living alone! I've lived alone at various times in my life and found myself dating like crazy while I was alone. Reflecting back on that now, I see that I was simply looking for someone to live with me! At the time, I thought that I was just doing the healthy thing by getting out there and socializing like normal people. I'm living alone again, but this time I'm trying desperately to hold tight to my morals and standards. I'm trying to draw a hard line as to who I bring into my life to potentially live with me. I don't want to find myself in this same situation 3 years down the road. The benefits of living alone: I put on the same shorts and T-shirt-shirt every day after work, I masturbate for 2 hours at a time and if I want to eat plain white rice for dinner I can. If I clean the kitchen, it stays clean! What kind of music do you want to listen to? That's right, I live alone! Metallica then Jars of clay... Whatever you want! "
Isabel isabel_regalado@miebach.com	Mexico	" I ended up living alone because I moved to Mexico to live with my boyfriend. It did not work out and suddenly I ended up looking for an apartment for myself, away from my family and best friends. I have always been a very independent person, but I had never lived alone before. I am enjoying it very much, and it has made me a more responsible person. But I have to admit I feel very lonely sometimes, specially because I am still coping with the feelings of the break-up, but being able to call my family, friends, or just meeting with my local friends has been very helpful. Sometimes I am with people and I can't wait to get home. Sometimes I invite people over and the minute they walk in I wish I had not invited them! But reading some of the comments posted here makes me see that these may be normal feelings, and that there is nothing wrong about it. Being a girl and living alone in Mexico City is not precisely the norm! Most girls my age are either married or still living with their parents or roommates if they are not from the city (and I am 29...), probably is just a cultural thing, but this fact makes me feel sometimes a bit that I am "different", but not in a bad way, I know there are plenty of people who envy my situation. I like getting to know people from other countries, so please feel free to email me. Saludos!"
Andrew	Quebec Canada	" I have been living alone for about two years now, and i have to say... its like slow death. I think i have discovered that it is in my nature to be with other people at all times. I enjoy my personal space very much, but i become habituated to being alone and end up spending 80% of my time doing so. I feel like something is very wrong, something very serious is missing. Maybe i'm not meant to be isolated - its driving me mad "
Ali schmali1@msn.com	Nashville USA	" I've lived alone on and off since leaving home at age 17. I lived with my first love for 7 years and after we split, it was difficult. It was hard to adjust to no one looking out for you, no one there at night, no one you could depend on to help you or listen to your day. I spent the next few years trying to feel comfortable in my own skin, believing in myself was a huge undertaking. Over the next 10 years, I struggled with a tendency to isolate myself, never really understanding that reaching out for support was not a sign of weakness, it was a healthy way to deal with loneliness. One of the comments on this site talked about how much she wanted visitors to leave, but once they were gone, she was lonely. I can appreciate that because that is what I went through. But now, sometimes, I just want to be alone and I came to realize that being alone does not equate with loneliness, it is a chance to fully realize your individuality and passion. As long as I keep my life balanced, I don't feel as lonely as I once did. Now, I have strong connections with people, myself included. Sure, I get lonely from time to time and when that happens, I reach out. I hope this helps someone in this group because other's comments sure have helped me. Thanks......Ali "
Mark Happyone_1@msn.com	Virginia USA	" I believe living alone builds character. I have seen people living together in misery because they haven't developed practical skills in self management, character and leadership. So naturally, I am impressed that a site like yours coaches people willing to forego a little loneliness and uncertainty to live successfully by themselves. Thanks "
Nadia	Perth Australia	" I'm ambivalent about living alone. On one hand, I love not always having to alter my habits for others or have them upset my routine or infringe on my space. I've always valued my independence, and I like that I can do things for myself without being relying on others or having other humans breathe down my neck. Also, I like not having to put up with listening to people belch, fart and scratch themselves in my presence. That is a bonus. On the other hand, although I've been alone for most of my life and generally don't regard this as problematic, I do occasionally yearn for the company of another person. I've become quite isolated, and found that when I do come into contact with others, as much as I want them to stay and chat, I just wish they'd leave...and then I feel lonely when they do. My various needs are in contradiction with another, and this isn't easy. I sometimes find it hard to get along with others, & get all narky & argumentative when they dare disagree with me. I guess I still hope I find a soulmate someday; either sex, I don't care--but I know that it's probably not likely. Even a close friendship would be good...but I don't think I could ever live with them. Human beings are smelly, messy, highly idiosyncratic creatures. To share a house with one...hmm.... Of course, I'm an aberration. Most people who live alone have heaps of friends, and aren't nearly so reclusive. Anyway, thanks for starting this site. I think it'll help lonely people a great deal "
Jay	Suffolk UK	" Been living on my own for eight months now. Feel like my social life is when I'm at work and the evenings are lonely. Having said that, if you're in an unhappy relationship with someone, you can still feel incredibly lonely. I am healing gradually and finding things to do so as not to dwell on the negative side-in time I will be happy and have peace of mind. Last week I made a cake for the first time and I am going to design and hand knit a jumper. If I create harmony around me then surely I will relax and start to be calm once more"
Dave	South Florida USA	" I am 27 and have been with my wife since I was 15. All in all I don't think it is going to work out too much longer and am trying to adjust to the idea of being alone. As bad as it may sound when I think about starting off on my own I start to feel a stiring inside that makes me feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel. Good luck to you all in your journeys and I hope I can find peace in mine."
James blckwatch1@aol.com	Detroit USA	" I have been living alone since my divorce in 1992. Lived with a woman for about a year. Got my own place again and my son moved in with me until he moved out at 21. Although I did not think it was time for him to do that, I wish him well. I lived alone until I got married at 31. Now I'm 53 and have been single since I was 41 and I really like it a lot. I have met many very nice women who would make excellent wives but I love my freedom much more. Of course, financially, it would be more advantageous to have a double income but even that comes with a price. And who know, the woman could always change and "flip the script" after you say "I do" and then you're stuck! Then again, who says I may not change for the worse after I say "I do." Nothing wrong in staying single. But if you want to get married then make that commitment and stick to it! "
Kathleen ksmall@intranet.ca	Canada	" Am in my early fifties now and have always been single, and have through experience and discussions with others come to the conclusion that living with a partner/others and living on ones' own, are living situations that come with their own set of joys and difficulties that can be equally satisfying or difficult depending on ones attitude, effort and motivation. I don't have the married or partnered life to compare to but I did have a happy upbringing and still miss that family sharing of day to day life. I miss being able to say good morning first thing, or goodnight before tucking in, to another fellow human being. I have triumphs and failures in my single life as in any other. Many of the pluses and negatives about single living I found reflected in a number of the write ups I read on your site. One of the minuses I did not see mentioned however, pertains not just to the type of person I am but to being single. I like to help people out. I often get asked to help people out. People assume that being single I have endless amounts of time to go and help them out, and can become indignant if I say no. The family's assumption is that being the only single sibling I am the one to devote myself to the needs of aging parents. So even as a single person I sometimes struggle to have my own life. However, on the lighter side as I get older I find my married friends having more time for me and are more likely to seek me out because of their 'empty nest syndrome'. I actually find myself looking forward to retirement age, with the view that I will once again been on a par with the majority of my own age group in the venture of tackling life after work which has the possibility of opening up new vistas of friendships of people I might not meet in my daily living situation now. Perhaps the best is yet to come! - Kathleen"
Susan	Suffolk UK	*" Thank you to all contributors for giving me inspiration for my journey alone. I know it is difficult to come to terms with. I wish everyone happiness for the future. All the best x, "*
Cindy	Miami USA	" I just ended a 6-yr relationship with the perfect man...I just needed to be by myself for a while. I'm 26 years old and had never even had my own room! I moved in with my boyfriend when I was 21 and before that I shared rooms at my parent's place with my younger sister. Now I have this huge apartment...and I still can't get over the fact that the microwave and the TV are mine...not my Dad's or my boyfriend's, but mine. It's definitely an adventure I really wanted to take. It was, however, extremely difficult to decide if giving up a potential life-mate was really necessary...but now that the decision was made, I know it was the right one. For the first time ever I am responsible for myself. No one to answer to. No one to call if you're late...I still find myself thinking I have to be home soon for some reason and then I realize that no, I don't. My place is fantastic and the thought of me being solely responsible for it freaks me out a bit. I don't have much, but I'm hoping it will feel like home soon. I try to keep myself busy and refuse to stay in on the weekends. I do feel lonely sometimes, but I expected it and it's part of the game. I have lots of good friends and family who love me. Girlfriends are the key to making the transition easier. You must have a good ear to contact when you just need to talk about nothing. I feel this is a milestone in my life and the decisions I make now will affect me in the long run. I feel like an adult and thus behave like one. I am free to come and go as I please and the naked factor is a major plus =) I've learned tons about myself and it's only been a month! Financially it's been a challenge, but a manageable one and I'm dealing with it ok. To anyone out there itching to be on your own...DO IT! I'm a professional, independent woman. I'm young and have tons to learn. But I can support myself, make myself happy, and face whatever challenges may arise. I cherish friends and family, but mostly I cherish the courage it took to embark in this adventure. It's almost a right of passage no one should be without "
Brian brianconnery0@lycos.com	Los Angeles USA	" I have been married too many times searching for that "special someone" who will make me happy. However I have now realized that person is "me". Yes it is hard to be alone however I am spending the coming year to rebuild myself to the point where I am comfortable and heading in the right direction. Once I am the "right person" then I can invite someone else into my life and when I do I am not concerned about if this is my only choice to be happy. Love yourself and everything else will come on it's own time "
Rachel	Little York USA	" Living alone whether by choice or circumstance will be a time in your life that you will surely learn about yourself ! Do you walk around naked, set the table for dinner, make the bed daily, etc...? OK so those are the tangible things...Do you sing loudly, pray, cry openly, read more, masturbate longer ? Living alone encompasses all of that...if you like (love) yourself you'll be fine...and you'll have just as much if not more to share (and with more fervor !!) when you're with your friends and family and perhaps eventually that special someone. That's when you may think that living alone is not "so enchanting". If you've been true to yourself, you will know when it's time to share your living, emotional, spiritual and sexual space again. Learning about oneself is one of the most rewarding reasons to live alone...and it reveals who you really are. It doesn't spell loneliness for me at all, but affords me the solitude I need yet develops how I share and stimulate and experience and laugh with others. I agree with many of the posts here that I am secure enough in myself to be alone and as long I don't tread down the selfish and complacent path, I'll be fine... "
PAM pah876@msn.com	LAKEWOOD USA	" LIVING ALONE DOES NOT MEAN BEING LONELY. AFTER BEING IN AN EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE COLD RELATIONSHIP, THE PEACE AND SERENITY OF MY COZY CONDO IS A TRUE BLESSING. IT IS FILLED WITH COLOR, MUSIC AND JOY. I HAVE FINALLY HEALED AND HAVE RECLAIMED MY INTERNAL POWER AND FREEDOM. BEING ALONE DOES NOT MEAN LONELY. I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DEVELOP AND CULTIVATE MY INNER SPACE AS WELL. I HAVE BECOME MY OWN BEST FRIEND AND ALSO A BETTER FRIEND TO OTHERS. IT IS A WONDERFUL WAY TO LIVE. BEFORE I HAD TO WONDER WHAT "HE" WANTED TO DO, WATCH ENDLESS HOURS OF GOLF, BOXING AND LISTEN TO ALL HIS TROUBLES AT WORK. NOW THE SILENCE IS HEALING AND WELCOMING. I HAVE REPLACED "HIM" WITH ZIPPY MAGOO ANOTHER MALE ALBEIT A CAT BUT NONTHELESS VERY ENTERTAINING, GOOD COMPANY AND THE BEST PART IS HE NEVER CRITICIZES OR HAS TEMPER FITS!!! TAKE HEART ALL WHO ARE ALONE. IT IS A CALL TO CULTIVATE AND NOURISH YOUR INNER LANDSCAPE AND RECLAIM THE POWER OF YOUR LIFE. BLESSINGS TO ALL. PAM "
DPG info@sphynx.ca	Windsor Canada	" Oh the joys of living on your own! Well what can I say I come and go as I please I have no one to answer to just me . As good as it seems is it. what about the other things a companion not a dog either. That little void that you feel some days when you need someone to talk to hold to kiss. Living alone is good as long as we don't die that way. Maybe its that feeling of independence that keeps us living alone. Utimately it is a good experience for everyone and like a lot of things you have your ups and downs your good days your bad days. But just remember when you are down or when things go bad there not really as bad as it may seem. As normal as it is to live alone it draws us further apart "
Mel	San Diego, CA USA	" Living alone is hard. I find myself at a stage in which I want to embrace being alone - being comfortable doing everything by myself...but I miss companionship and find it difficult to make new friends. I have a handful of close relationships, but I they are all over the country - so we call and email. At 34, I would love to make some new close friends, but I am having a hard time with it. It is all work for me. And - I think there are trust issues also. I am away from my friends and family and I don't want to make a bad decision and trust someone who may hurt me. That's where I am. It is nice though to only do what I want in my house. To sleep with my dog in the bed and do yoga at any hour. I like not having to worry so much about disturbing someone else. I can sleep late on Saturday and then just go to the beach and pick up takeout. I know a lot of my friends wish it was so simple for them. LOL "
graham dood@pnc.com.au	sydney australia	" I have lived alone for almost two years after going through a horrible and very hurtful relationship breakup. I have been in denial for most of that time and have lived in an empty shell of a house with barely any furnishings. I have tried to start a couple of unsatisfactory relationships with women I had nothing in common with but in the end it comes down to this. You can go through this period of your life railing against the unfairness of it and hating every minute or, accept it but you must never lose sight of the fact that it won't be forever if you don't want it to be. I also feel that you must never compromise your standards just to be with someone, anyone. Hope this helps some people cope as it know it is a long and winding road. An unexamined life is not worth living.dood@pnc.com.au "
John Tony.gregory@albirm.ang.af.mil	Gadsden AL USA	" I never wanted to live alone. I was married when I was 19, spent the next 20 years with someone who never really got me, never really liked what I liked or saw beauty in what I thought was beautiful. I divorced then remarried to a Bipolar alcoholic, who was abusive. Now I am alone and enjoying my decisions and wondering if the women are the problem or I am. I am like a lot the stories I read, not much on nudity though. I still close the bathroom doors and like privacy. After years of harsh words and abuse, the silence is like a dark friend, God looming in the light just as quickly as I call for him. Bless the lonely. "
David mobredstar@yahoo.co.uk	Liverpool UK	" I left home when I was 17 because of certain things going on in my life at the time and ended up in a 1 bedroomed flat. I was however living with my fiancé' at the time and we had a good relationship and we eventually bought our own house and were together for just over 11 years until we split up. 3 years on, after suffering depression and the likes I found I was living alone and it took a lot of adjusting, both personally and financially but I endevoured to overcome the thought of being alone. I even took on lodgers but found it wasn't working. I then ended up living alone for the next two years. I can't say It was a good move, but more of a not really bothered by it kind of thing. After living with someone from the moment you left the nest, kind of thing, it was strange but I got on with it and found my self esteem building up and I can now honestly say it has done me the power of good to go through it. I'm now, on a temporary basis, living back with my parents and I'm in the process of selling my house and looking forward to starting a new life. Paying off all my debts and having a totally fresh start. Living alone is going to be a dream, because although I do love my parents, I'm a bit old for staying on here. I've lived independently for too long now to make my roots back at the nest. Thanks for listening "
Jim	Ithaca USA	" What scares me is that living alone isn't really so bad, it is often quite nice. I change the channel as often as I like if I watch the T.V.. I have time to write without any interruption. I don't have to entertain the needs and demands of any other person. Just me and my three legged dog:] companionship, when it is wanted, is always just outside the front door. "
Sunny	Bay Area USA	"Never lived on my own before at all. I have always jumped from one person to the next to fill that empty void or just get away. Marriage is over and it has been very painful to say the least. I am not sure what to expect from living alone, but at least I will discover who I am and what out of life I really do want. Not a man, but dreams and aspirations that I have always wanted to do and see. I left him have everything cuz it will only be a reminder of what I once had. I just kept the bed, TV and my kitchen furniture. My mother is furnishing my house anyways, so no biggie. I think my own style and flavor will help me in the long run when I come home and see my own home with my own style. I play golf a lot and work out at the gym. Not into the bar scene and I love to travel. I think I will travel more now with my girlfriends and play more golf. My friends say it takes a long while to really get through being "alone" and I will give myself all the time I need."
Victoria	Canada	*" Loneliness may be a state of mind, but life not expressed passionately is merely an existence. We are not intended to be solitary ... therein lies our quest for completion '*
Emily	Oakland ca usa	" I was married for 25 yrs. ended in divorced. jumped in next relationship quick im in that relationship for 6 ys just ended 4 months ago. im gland its over, because it was a lonely and sad relationship. now im alone learning a lot of things for myself, for the first time after 31 yrs with someone. i find myself living alone. im 52 yrs old woman. i try to keep my self busy, going to gym, taking some classes, going with my friends that call and invite me to go somewhere, dont get me wrong i get so lonely, and depress sometimes, but i tried my best not to let my self get that low. I still preferred alone than with someone that cheat, humiliate, reject me. my mother is alone too, she said by choice. she alone since she was 42 yrs old. she's 70 now. she said she will not change it for the world. smile **** "
Steve	Sydney Australia	" I'm 47, divorced 3 yrs (16 yr married)& just out of a 2 yr relationship where we lived together. Moving out and living alone was my decision, I had reached a point where all I wanted to do was be responsible for myself and my kids (3 that do not live with me but I support). I've been alone for 6 mths and the rewards are definitely worth the odd lonely hour.. living in a city helps I believe and you must keep a cleanliness & exercise discipline. I'm in the second yr of a Masters degree and the solitude of single living really helps the focus.. you just need some good friends to bounce ideas off. However, after 6 mths alone I'm obviously still coming to terms with the idea or I wouldn't have found this site discussing it. I want to keep free of any committed relationships but like sex and some companionship. This is the truly difficult aspect of living alone. It's interesting to read the comments on the site.. seems that being "home alone! " is an issue world wide. I guess my observation is to get used to it and be careful of forming close relationships.. be honest up front, it helps in the long run. '
Mia	Fresno USA	*" I will be living alone soon and I am worried. I haven't ever lived alone. Weekends and holiday have got to be the worst. Any suggestion for making the transition easier?"*
Harlan	rightbrainwave@hotmail.com Portland USA	"My roommate just told me he was moving out. As always when I have to change roommate situations, I got a rush of panic... I thought, "Shit! Now I have to go on Craigslist and FIND a roommate..." Then I imagined living by myself in a huge 2 bedroom, and I have to admit, it's great. The kitchen is clean because I cleaned it. Everything in the fridge is mine! Nudity, of course. The whole kit and kaboodle. Then that fucked up Money thing comes creeping out. Halve my rent, and I'm never there anyway. Why shouldn't I just rent the room out? I'm never going to install a library, or drawing room. I'm not going to have nude female models reclining on the sitting couch I found because I'm "furnishing my freedom"! Hell... So I got on Google and typed in "living alone". Anybody got any thoughts as to what to do?"
Swami swaminathan_r@hotmail.com	Bangalore India	" Although I have spent time alone, never had the opportunity of living all on my own. At times I did think whether it made sense staying with friends. But then I wanted to make my own choices, live by my rules and do things the way I wanted to. It's been just 2 days but it seems like I am living in a parallel world. As I walk back home from work, I suddenly feel an exhilaration akin to flinging myself off a cliff. Believe me it is an experience to cherish and 'experience'..."
Brittany	Canada	" I was wondering if anyone could give me information or where to find information about the legal age of moving out on your own in Canada. Along with any of the restrictions about having parental consent and what all they have a say in. If you could please Email me, st_lunatic69@hotmail.com "
Erin	Northern Cal USA	" Part of me loves living alone and the other part sulks on occasion. About 6 months ago I relocated for a career. My boyfriend at the time was supposed to move with me - the move was originally his idea. He got cold feet when I actually landed the job and started looking for a place to live in a new town. So I moved anyways - figured it was time for change and adventure. Love the job and have been slowly making friends. Hobbies are a good thing to keep the mind and passions occupied. For me they are painting, cooking, working in the garden, and reading the paper at a local cafe. It's quite interesting being a woman in this country during this age - I can support myself easily enough, am completely self sufficient, & enjoy various freedoms. A relationship is not a necessity for survival like it used to be. I'm lucky to be alive at this time. Yet, we are social beings - have been since the dawn of time - in a culture that is been slowly designed to isolate one another. I'm currently resolved with living alone, but will ultimately seek human relationship and contact - after all that is what we have been biologically programmed to do"
DeViN lostnspaceaz@earthlink.net	Tucson USA	" My partner and lover died in 1992, we were very close and not only lovers but friends too. My partner never told me he was hiv+, and died from ARC=aids related complications. In 1990,1991 I lost 3 of my closest friends, like family but closer, one friend had a tumor no one could find and blamed his symptoms on allergies, one died from aids and the third one died from car crash, he was hit head on Alligator Alley driving from Miami to Naples. I have not had a close gay friend since 1992 and I am 48 yrs old and not into bars and night clubs any longer. I live with a miniature longhair dachshund 3 yrs old in December. My dog has saved my life and she is my best friend, and I do not feel like I live alone. "
Leticia	Indianapolis USA	" Living alone sure beats living with my ex-husband! Living alone is easier than living with a lying, cheating, drug abusing husband. Yes, to you that may seem obvious. To me, it took many years of grief and despair to realize that I can live on my own. My only regret about living alone is that I wish I had done it sooner. When I want to read my book I can. When I don't feel like going to the store, I don't. When I want to lay around in my Pajamas until noon, I can! If I am not expecting anyone for days I don't have to feel pressured to do the laundry and dishes right away. I no longer have to wash someone else's dirty stinky socks. I no longer have to smell those socks. I can let my children sleep in during summer months. I can sleep naked in peace without someone touching me in any way. I can stand by the counter without someone pressing up against me, uninvited. I can pay my bills early without worrying about where the money is. I can not imagine living with anyone else ever! again.
Donna	California USA	" Reading all of your observations on being single helps me to understand my own single lifestyle. Living alone appears to be a push-pull situation. You can be happy as a lark one minute, enjoying your solitude and the next minute wish someone was there to share those happy feelings. On weekends, I'm stuck in the rut of thinking Friday and Saturday nights are DATE NIGHTS! I love going out for live music on those nights, but feel like a bump on a log alone--my friends won't go because they feel bars are only drinking spots--I drink very little, so that doesn't bother me; some of the best live bands are there. I've been married several times, but have been alone for 13 years now. I think a busier night time schedule would help me on weekends. During the week, I'm usually fine about living alone, most days. Does anyone else feel lonelier on weekends?"
Fred	Brockville Canada	" What makes people think that having someone else in your life is necessarily going to clarify your life? Hell's bells.... If you're having problems by yourself how is it going to be if you add someone else's baggage into the mix? Now you're dealing with their crap and yours too. Are we havin' fun yet? Usually when people think that someone else will make a difference it really means that now they've got someone who they think is going to "FIX ME". That's why you left home! To become a big person and get away from Mommy and Daddy. Not to replace them with a new Mommy or Daddy that you can sleep with too. I still live alone and from what I can see from most of the relationships around me I think I've made the right choice. I haven't got myself completely together yet by any stretch of the imagination but I know for sure that if I had permanently entangled myself with someone a long time ago when I was less self-sufficient I would now have myself in the kind of deep doo-doo that most relationships are in today. Spend some time living by yourself and I don't mean three months. Give it a year AT LEAST. You'll have a lot more self confidence and self respect and when you finally do choose someone to live with it will be because you "CHOOSE" to not because you "NEED" to. You don't NEED anyone. *It's much easier to get into a relationship than it is to get out of one. Especially once you have shared property or (heaven forbid) shared children. "*
Ellie	sstreic@comcast.com Atlanta	" I'm in graduate school on a full scholarship and because of the schedule, stress level, work load and attendant academic pressure, I know I can't afford to live with someone who might interfere with my sleep, down time or work schedule BUT when I have a free moment and come up for air, I have no idea what to do with myself... I have a few friends, but they all have alot more going on in their lives and I feel like I'm waiting for mine to start... and being by myself gives me way too much time to wait, worry and wonder about what's to come and what I am becoming. Maybe it's just me, but living alone has definitely accentuated a lot of my negative personality traits; somehow, having someone else around keeps me in check. I've become far messier, lazier, more impulsive, prone to depression/anxiety and restless since I got my own place a year ago. I've always been a pretty cerebral person, but I am turning more and more inward, living more and more in my head and I ! don't like it. I keep on telling myself that when I get my degree, when I have more control over my life, when I have a job and money in my pocket, when I decide where I want to make my life and start my career, then I'll find a roommate and/or a boyfriend, then I'll be able to fill my life with people and things that will add perspective and rhythm to my way of being... but I'm afraid that I'm becoming permanently antisocial and unlovable and that this solitary existence is all there is for little old me... I guess I could always get a dog "
Ang amw212s@smsu.edu	Springfield USA	" I came to this site while searching for my decision to live alone or not. Just like many other of the writers I am a very giving and loving partner. I don't feel like I should get any less. I have been divorced 2X and am now in a relationship 1yr plus. I just don't want to make all the decisions and carry the household load while working as well. I do this very well by myself and I don't have the added burden of taking care of someone else. I am also very social. I never have problems meeting people. Even though I love the man that I am with, like no other, being with someone has always brought me more pain than joy. I have more freedom and enjoy more people when I am single. The problem is I really enjoy having a deep connection with someone. Help. *Does anyone have any words of wisdom? "*
Zach	Toronto Canada	*" I am going to love it (p.s. i don't do cats) "*
Tofael	Leeds UK	*" Maximum members of those who are living alone, don't want to live alone. But circumstances compel them to live alone "*
Chris	Ocala, FL USA	" It's tough. I'm sure it's the same with so many...when you've lived with another for a number of years (10 years in my case). It's hard to come home to an empty house when there's good news to share, even news without promise. Anyway, it's difficult at times, though it can be nice to come and go as I please. I'm not sure if I long for companionship or for someone to just watch a movie with and share a laugh; maybe a bit of both. "
cecile	olongapo philippines	"sometimes i think that why there so many people want to be alone. Maybe because they suffer an heartache that's why. but other happy of being alone in this life. Like me i grew up that im far with my love ones and i feel that no one can care for me. My weakness is i trust all people and i give all my love for them but no one can return it to me. All of them far with me or leave me. For being alone, i never feel happy in my life. I try to become happy but when i think about it my life became useless. I hope someday i will scape for being alone in this world. I wish someday i will find a person that welling to stay here in my life forever. I wishhhhhhhhhh...someday sometimes i always ask to myself why i always alone in this world. when i was young my parents leaves me and i stay with my grandma and when i was became a lady all persons that near here in my heart left me. all of them getting far with me. now i am 23 but i am still alone in this world. i don't know when i become happy to my life "
Danny	Charlotte USA	" YES LIVING ALONG YOU WILL FEEL LONELY AT TIMES! I have lived along for 3 years and love it. I have everything I love right here in my little nook of the world and it took while to get everything just how I like it. After two years of living alone I was forced to move for a job and over the course of the next year had 5 different roommates in 3 different living situations. It sucked I never felt established or at home. I used to be very introverted but I like going out alone. Secret to living alone is true willpower to motivate yourself because no one will help you off the coach or talk you into doing anything! In the last year I've taught myself to play piano, guitar, sail boats, volunteer firefighter, awesome cook, and most importantly workout a lot! I also yell at my TV it is my best friend and the radio is never off. Exercise will help cure a lot of loneliness and insecurity. You have got to motivate yourself which is the hardest thing to do with others not around watching and caring. Take care"
Mara	California USA	" I appreciate the varied comments on solo living on this site. I've been pretty much on my own since my divorce 18 years ago and learned how to enjoy being by myself once I had gained the confidence that I would be fine. There were a couple of failed trials of moving in with ex-boyfriends... they lasted less than 6 months each. While I have many hobbies to amuse myself with and possess a rich inner life, I still would prefer to someday find that compatible partner to share daily life with. Truly, it's way better to be alone than to be miserably while living with someone. I'm currently seeing someone and my motivation for moving in with him would be to have more frequent sex! Otherwise, it appears we both like having our own space and after years of living the single-alone life, we have pretty set ways. I have a handful of close friends whom I see once a month or so in rotation. Maintaining long, continuous friendships with people has been tricky; my women friends disappear after they have children, some friends moved out-of-state, and everyone else is just too busy with their job/life to spend time with friends. Balance is hard to find in this rushy, urban existence "
paul	usa	*" TO SANDRA-who posted right above me. I agree totally--if NOT the right person you still feel alone. I call it--the certainty of misery versus the misery of uncertainty"*
Sandra	Chicago USA	" After getting divorced discovered married friends are uncomfortable with a single female around. Started to fill my life with volunteer work, clubs, work, friends. At home alone on a saturday night thoughts drift to where is my soul mate. Then remember if it is not the right person i would still feel alone. I learned to enjoyed going out alone. Life is too short to sit and wait hoping someone wants to do what i want to do "
paul	usa	" I am tired of not being understood. Tired of putting all the effort in and making decisions for two. TIRED of women not opening up and always being happy. Look at the personals of yahoo and whoever. The women say they are always happy-are they on drugs or what. Being happy to me means they are like robots without a soul. And not to pick on women, there are a lot of "dead" man out there. I like a lot of what people have written- so very gifted people out there. When you have more insight than the average person you need to be alone-or you will be drained and bored. The latest figures I have are that out of 111 million households in the usa, 40 million are with singles. And out of 291 people in the usa , 93 million are single. So as a group we number we number MORE THAN 30 %. SO HERE'S THE DEAL-HOW DO WE ALL START GETTING TOGETHER AND STILL BE ABLE TO KICK EACH TO THE CURB WHEN WE HAD ENOUGH OF EACH OTHER. OR TO START WITH--HOW CAN WE START MEETING???,
josh	san francisco us	" i know this is about living alone, but i guess i'm just alone; i try very hard to be around other people, often times shirking responsibilities (or just sleep) in order to be with human beings; when i am by myself i drink alcohol and smoke pot; i'm thinking about getting a cat so i can have some to keep me company; i'm 25, both my parents are dead and the remainder of my family are horribly crude and abusive; i feel retarded cuz i dont have the patience or interest to do anything; i like empathizing with people but its painful 'cuz i dont feel like i'm actually relating; i'm a bright kid, by accident, and put very little stock in academia (and most institution - i am a californian) so i study whatever interests my by myself - i've recently discovered abrose bierce and consider him to be kindred; i guess we might all have our wars to cause our wonderful suspicion of life and goodness "
Ann	Houston USA	" Alone-ness means time for myself in every way. Going to sleep at night alone is far better than hugging the edge of the bed after a day of endless critical remarks and commands, enduring visits from unbearable in-laws and the boorish "friends" of a significant other. A word of advice, though, to those with children. Be close to them even if you now live alone. They need your presence in every way; do not distance yourself emotionally of physically from them. In the end of your days, they and their children will be your greatest solace. Be good to yourself, your friends, and try not to be overly critical or judgmental. Be honest.. Don't kick yourself. Peace will settle in on you like a nice warm blanket. "
Rachael	Milwaukee USA	" What can I say? I have always had a difficult time interacting with people I don't know so it's been a challenge to make friends my entire life. I have social phobia and I'm an introvert at that (very bad combination). Hopefully, at some point I will meet someone special otherwise I'll continue to live alone and love it. I'm 25 and have been on my own completely since I was 18. No children, small family, few associates. I depend on my fantasies for the most part to get me by. In our culture right now, with technology being as advanced as it is, mass communication has made us introverts pretty much outcasted and with the family as broken down as it is, there isn't much choice for us but to learn how to take pleasure in simple things we can do alone. I love to take walks alone or read. Music is my best friend."
Mark	London UK	" I have bought my first house at the age of 24 and have a good job but have never had a partner/girl friend because I haven't met the right person yet. I have a few 'associates' but no close friends so have to do everything myself. Right now I am living by myself in a 3 bedroom house with 2 bathrooms. I have had a couple of lodgers but they have been and gone. I have my good and bad days but music is the main thing that keeps me going. 'Under the Bridge' by the Red Chilli Peppers my song that sums up how I feel when I'm alone and mentally / physically drained. The morning after I always feel mentally invigorated and the cycle starts again "
David	Oxford UK	"I've lived alone for over 2 years. And it's been Ok. I like waking up late on a Saturday morning and thinking I have absolutely nothing that must be done today. A blank sheet waiting to be filled. So maybe some days I don't get dressed until lunchtime and others I'm out from dusk til dawn. But the choice is mine. There is of course the other side of single living, the weeks when the 9-5 takes over and all you do is work, eat and sleep, without speaking to anyone other than a work colleague. And the weeks where I spend more time stuck in traffic than I do with my 6 year old daughter. Sometimes I miss my old life, the closeness of a family, altruism through love, the background buzz of a busy house. But things change, and so must I. I'm fitter, more self sufficient and gradually taking back control of my life. I like the way I live, and the person I'm becoming. *But some days it just isn't enough."*
Odie	San Pablo Philippines	" I am successful in having both. Living alone and living w/ someone. I own a house where I live alone and I also maintain a live in partner in a separate house to whom I had a 10 year old daughter. My partner work on a second shift from 2 pm to 11 pm I work from 8 am to 5 pm in the same office. After my work I go home to my house and I fetch her from work at 11 pm then I sleep in her house. During weekends we go out like shopping, swimming etc. w/ my daughter. Whenever I feel being alone I just go to my house if ever I want to be with someone I go to her house. This work great for our relationship that is why we decided not to get married just to enjoy our freedom. If we had gotten married maybe we will not survive the relationship for about 15 years now. "
Val	San Francisco USA	" I'm 40 years old and I've been living alone now for 4 years. Before living alone, I lived with someone for 6 years and was grateful when it ended. I love living alone, but like everyone else, I get lonely, but only on Sundays. Strange isn't it. I have a loving boyfriend and we've been together for almost 3 years. My boyfriend came out of a bad relationship and before that went through a pretty bad divorce, so he enjoys living alone. We love each other so much, and lately we've started discussing the thought of moving in together. Part of me really wants to move in with him, but the other half of me feels that things are fine just the way they are. He likes to watch a lot of television and play music loud and his place is quite messy. I don't watch television, do a lot of yoga and am a bit of a neat freak. Part of me feels that pressure that if you find someone you love, the next step is to get married or move in. Hmmm....sure I get lonely, but boy does it feel good to go back to my place after we have a fight or when he gets on my nerves. Oh yeah, living alone ROCKS!!! "
Cynthia	Peterborough USA	" I am rather fascinated by the fact that through accident, normal attrition, etc. I am the sole survivor of my original family. Widowed four years ago, I struggled with grief and the new experiences and responsibilities of living alone...except for my perfect cat and ideal chickens. I think that I have done quite well, but have had to work hard to keep myself occupied and fulfilled. Depression keeps it's ugly head just beneath my horizon. But these factors were part of my life when I lived with others too! One must never forget that, and not attribute negativisms to living alone. Admittedly these factors are somewhat simpler to keep at bay when there's another person in the house making distractive contributions. I'm now in a relationship that keeps me emotionally up and down. This relationship has, however, taught me just how much I value my independence and freedom of thoughts and actions. I'm often amazed! Loneliness is a ha! rsh reality life...any life...living alone or with multitudes."
Damian	Manchester United Kingdom	" I'm still adjusting to living alone really. I was married and lived with my wife for six years. She left me last year because she said we had drifted apart and was no longer in love with me. While I love the fact I can now do what I want without another's permission, I do seem to get down quite a bit lately. I have an active social life and a few good friends but I seem to spend a lot of time analyzing things in my head. I am also incredibly lazy and find it hard to motivate myself to do household chores and prepare decent meals. Being married was hard but so is living alone. "
Donna	Norris City USA	" I enjoy living alone most of the time, but I'm not a person that likes going out and doing things alone. Going to a movie or eating out alone really sucks! I would like to meet someone just as a companion to go do things with, but live apart. I also don't enjoy eating meals at home alone. I have female neighbors, but they have their own lives and are gone a lot. I am retired, but living on a fixed income limits you as far as what you can afford to do every month"
Lynne	Sydney Australia	" It's something I've always wanted to try. I've lived with parents and flat mates, and a long time ago, a boyfriend. I'd bought an apartment but had tenants for a while. It was time to find my own space. It has been challenging - all the renovations etc. I never get "bored" but I do feel "alone". I feel "alone" in my life generally, having never married and been single for 7 years, I think living alone compounds some feelings of depression. However it has also proven a lot of inner strengths I knew I had. I know I can survive on my own, and whilst I long for a loving relationship, know I don't need one to survive. I do like having privacy, and being able to have things exactly when where and how I want. I wonder now how I would adjust to being with someone."
Rhonda	Canada	" The majority of my adult life I have lived alone. Having brief interludes with roommates as I went through university, I know it really takes a special person to be a compatible living partner whether it be for love or convenience. I have to say, I do like the quiet and the ability to just be. If I want to be social I just pick up the phone, go out, or in some instances, turn on my phone! In living alone I have been granted the opportunity to tune into my true nature and face my fears. Yes, this takes courage. however the majority of time I don't feel lonely - of course I have my moments, but that has nothing to do with living alone, it's more about me abandoning myself in some way. I don't think I would have known this had I always lived with someone. Living alone is not for everybody. For me though it is my preference. The only thing I don't like is having to do all the cleaning and decorating (I never liked decorating) "
Leoc	Racine USA	" This is the first time I've entered this site, and I don't know why, except at this precise moment I feel very alone. I am 57 year old, having been married once and my children are out of the home. For the most part, I am pretty content being by myself because I have hobbies, work, and volunteer work to keep me busy. But there are times, when I feel like I just here and no one knows that. I have a few friends that I call, but it isn't the same as sharing your thoughts and feelings with a "live" person. I am serious and like to discuss many issues, but I find that most people are busy with their own lives and have little to time to be concerned about yours. The flip side of all this is that I can travel when I want, eat, read, or whatever without being consulting someone else. I wish, however, there was someone to call to say "hi" and mean it or I wish there was really someone who cared about me as an individual; not a worker, singer, volunteer worker, but me. No self-pity, simply the facts"
Lou	USA	" I live alone now. Have been married twice with two kids from the second marriage. I have had an on again, off again relationship with a woman who "I think I love". But, the fear of failing again, with the financial consequence stops me from committing. Anyway, as most people have said living alone is not bad. Yes, loneliness creeps in. but I think most of the time that's self pity. Overall it's not that bad. Life is what it is, we have to make the best of it "
Dan	Anchorage USA	" I'm alone by choice. I value my privacy very much. Maybe its because I had no siblings. But I think it has more to do with the fact that human nature will do more to avoid pain than to gain pleasure. I tried marriage twice and in both cases the pain far outweighed the pleasure. I find the only problem with relationships is that you have to depend on the integrity of another. With a 50% divorce rate marriage can't be that great. I sometimes wonder how many married people are hanging in there for reasons other than love for their spouse. Or if they knew then what they know now would they still choose to marry. The way I look at it, life is not easy single or married. There is pain in both. My choice to live single brings freedom without nagging, peace and serenity especially in the morning when gathering my thoughts for the day, and so many other advantages. The down side is sometimes I'll feel lonely like we all do. I guess that's what prompted us to check out this site. But I have to remember that things always seem to turn out ok and not let my mind play tricks on me about growing old and dieing alone. The main thing for me is to keep my head up and count my blessings when I feel low. I have so much to be grateful for and I live in a world full of people so I can go and be with them if I feel lonely. "
Morris	Timaru New Zealand	" I'm not waiting for the world (or another person) to give me a life. I'm making my own as I go along. The only way I'll end up with someone is if I run into someone who's got some values in common with me so that we can still pursue our own goals (or, if I'm lucky, the same goals) but still have someone to share my spiritual side with "
Sarah	Dublin Ireland	" just really doing it now for the first time, boyfriend just moved out which is ok but i go to bed much earlier and don't really enjoy the house as much. Bit worried about getting too used to being alone, before i used to crave time alone, too much is maybe just.... too much "
Debbie	New York USA	" I have lived alone since I'm 18. I just got married (I'm 38 now) and love the man, but hate living with someone else. We're separating after only 10 months of marriage. While I will miss him, I have discovered something very important - that I value my alone time more than anything else in the world. It is how I discover who I am, what I want to become, what I want to do - without the distraction of having the other person telling me that I bother or affect them. I don't have to feel guilty anymore. I can go back to being who I was. Living alone is more "me" than having a husband. Luckily, we will remain best friends. Kind of strange that we had to get married to figure this out - but hey, it's my life...and that's the journey I am on. No regrets "
AJ	Newark USA	" Comments about living alone: I'm living alone for three months now. I sent my mother back home, so I could live in peace. Now I feel lonely. The freedom is great, but I get all this mixed feelings of being lonely "
Linda	Anchorage USA	" I found this site because I was living alone and then moved in with my sister for awhile to get out of a bad neighborhood. It started off okay and now there's all sorts of wacky things happening. I have an artistic and spiritual soul so am never alone. I love decorating and being happy and am finding those facets of my being at the level of being compromised like someone throwing little poison darts at all the happy bubbles I blew. I have been able to stabilize financially and that's good but at what cost? When I live alone I can create my own fantasy world, have people over - I'm the Captain of my ship and whatever coordinates I key in are the experiences I and my "travel mates" will have. I now think the only person I could live with is a fur baby or a mate (lover). Yikes - now I've gotta save the money I moved in to save to move out. :-) But now I'm gonna really enjoy living alone! "
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